Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Vikram

Right, so everyone asks me,

"Jo, who is this Vikram?"

"Have you gone completely insane?"

"Is he really imaginary?"


And my answer would be,

"Yes (so and so), I have gone completely mad.
And Vikram is my only friend (besides the roaches and ants that comes along in my handy bag everywhere I go)"

They all looked flabbergasted.

It's true.

I HAVE gone completely bonkers.

Vikram is the only one who understands.

Here are some more fun facts on Vikram:

1. Born on 29 April 1982

2. Adopted by Sri Lankan parents - Hence the name Vikram Krishnanmuthu

3. Real name's Tony Wong.

4. Half Thai, half chinese heritage.

5. Parents died in a car crash involving cows, hens and a suspicious looking cheese.

6. Likes : gossiping, women with thunder thighs, black ladies, rugby, painting, long walks at the mall, boxers - not briefs, Hugo Boss perfume, orange jelly, mathematics, jellyfish, white chocolates, pork rinds, swatch watches, family guy, lobster ravioli, roberto cavalli, cupcakes, chocolate indulgence, beyonce, katy perry, tattoos, picking acne, ginger cookies, procrastination, popped collars.

7. Dislikes : cheese, the sun, strangers, skinny bitches, open doors, clowns, silent darkness, chilli sauce, brown rice, chocolate ice cream, stretch marks, roaches, spiders, tight skinny jeans, eyeliner, PMS, politics, pencils, Times New Roman font, Elmo, Gianni Versace, prawns, the colour red, peppers, celery sticks, carrots, traffic lights, straight lines.

8. Occupation : Mattress tester.

9. 6ft2, kinda tubby, boyish goodlooks.

10. Has 2 cats named Teetsy and Mo.

11. Has a right nipple piercing.

12. A tattoo of a large surgical stitch along his backbone.

13. Has short curly hair (yeah I know he's asian)

14. Loves listening to psychedelical music.

15. On a never ending quest to save the world.

16. Lives on green jelly beans only.

17. Poops only wednesdays and thursdays.

18. Can belly dance.

19. Is secretly in love with Valen Hsu.

20. most overused phrase, "NAh-UH!"

By the way, Vikram says Hi.

X

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