Friday, July 31, 2009


I was once a carefree, knee-high boots wearing, leather jacket, messy long hair, fried chicken loving, guitar playing girl.

Nothing could stop me.

The world was my oyster.

Reality ate my oyster.

Now I'm left with that stinky shell.
And no money.


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Transvestites and Crossdressers and a whole lot of lipstick

Back in Newcastle, England, I used to stay with boys for the 2 years (well there were girls,but the final year I was there, I was the only girl!)

Anyway, on my final days in England, I had a farewell party, and my boys had to dress up in GIRLS CLOTHES and hit the town together. It was amazing

My boys would always be so kind to me, Shean, Mike, Aaron and Ollie. They aren't the cleanest people on earth(cept Ollie - clean freak) but they treated me very well.

I came to a conclusion that guys are better than girls to live with. Less bitch fights. Cept Shean, who was my bitch.

Anyway, them guys were so lovely. I miss them terribly :(

Shean (the pregnant lady, Aaron, me(grabbing my boobies in fear they fell out) and lovely MIKE.

The night was a blast, though Shean threw up like the prenant lady he was at the pub. It was hilarious.

This is Kingsley. He was the most femnine of all. Yet he is every bit the man.

Alot of my boys got hit on that night, especially the chinese lads. Those white boys were too huge to pull it off! :P

This is Aaron. Gosh his chest hair was a masterpiece. And I loved the fact that he LOVED EGYPTIAN EYES and WANTED IT!

They sent me off on the last day, and I kissed my walls at 8 Meldon goodbye. It was such a terrible time for me. My life. Everything. Gone.

I had to return to this HELLHOLE.

My amazing housemates :)

Us at Frances House. Check out Kingsley's leg hair and BOXERS!!!!!

Sigh. Dreams end after all.

Winky is no trouble maker!

So there has been an on-going debate between me and my father about which dog is the one thats causing him to have heart attacks every morning when he steps into the porch.

Shells strewn everywhere, plants destroy, shoes with one side missing, newspaper shredded, pebbles all over the place and tiny pees and poops everywhere.

Of course I stood up for my puppy, Winky.

She is the most docile dog ever. ButI am sure she's learning on how to become a proper pain the longer she mixes with Ting Ting.

Ting Ting is such a royal pain.

She's the greediest dog I've ever seen and she swallows her food without chewing. She doesnt let other people have any food and she herself must have EVERYTHING.
Sounds a tad like me, but so what? SHES NOT HUMAN SO IT DOESNT COUNT!

Anyway, my dad threw caution into the air that he was going to give Winky away.

So I gave him a formal warning via Facebook (yes the Khoo way.)

I said if he ever dare give Winky away, he'll never ever see his precious Ting Ting again. EVER.

And I was serious.

So last night I took matters into my own hand, so I brought Winky into my room and gave her a shower with Dove Shampoo and her tick wash as well. I scrubbed out the ticks between her paws so thats clean. The only part I couldnt get was in her fur. So later today I'll get her her tick collar and some treats.

Winky slept at the corner of my room, in front of the toilet door.

Like what NC says, its either shes really terrified of my room that she didn't move an inch, or she just really enjoys the aircon. But either way, she was such a good dog, she didnt pee or poop ANYWHERE!

I heard her bell jingle the whole night, but I suppose she's just scratching herself (the ticks are trying to get out of her clean body!)

I'm thinking of making her my personal guard dog in my room, but I'm afraid she'll just sleep the whole night through and spread me fleas (that'll be covered when I get that collar and medication).

Anyway, so this morning I stormed into Dad's room and said, HAH. ITS YOUR DAMN DOG!

[Mum saw me sneaking Winky out of my room this morning. She just kept quiet about it]


I love my Winky. It's a good thing she's slowly starting to respond to us calling her. I suspect its because she knows we have noms for her.



See 3 sisters bonding together at nap time after dinner.

They are so cute.

I love my goggies :D

A drawing to show that we girls rather die than go without a sale!


This is what happens when you don't have sex regularly, guys.


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Would this be a picture of :

a) me drunk ;

b) me just finishing a plate of deep fried chicken with loads of ketchup and mayonaise;

c) me maxing out my credit card on shopping;

d) having an explosive orgasm;

e) seeing that bitch fall down the stairs;

f) getting a big fat pay check;

g) secretly sniggering to myself because someone said some really bad english?


Reasons why I haven't bitten your head off

Reasons Why I Haven't Bitten Your Head Off Yet.

  1. You are so silly. You are even sillier than me.
  2. You are also smarter than me. How can that be?!
  3. You give amazing bear hugs.
  4. You give me piggy backs all over the place.
  5. You have the amazing ability to talk to me everynight for 1.5hrs. And yet we don't know what we're talking about.
  6. You make an effort to learn Hokkein!
  7. You give in to me when I'm such a megabitch.
  8. You can listen to the phone for hours listening to me rave and rant about sad and sorry life.
  9. You rather die than *lets say* let someone do anything untoward to me.
  10. You smell like a million bucks. Except when you sweat like a pig, but thats forgivable.

  1. You love my cooking. HMMMM.
  2. You love it especially when I'm silly and stupid in front of you. Lord knows I'm a genius really.
  3. You love munching on my fats. Literally.
  4. You like smelling me like a puppy dog! WEE! :D
  5. You love tidying after me.
  6. You wake up at 850am to make me bread with jam and butter just cos the night before I said I wanted it and then in the morning you sent it to me!

  1. You are the most caring person to me (well of course you better!)
  2. You love holding my hand!
  3. You think I still look bearable to the world even without make up on.
  4. You hate it when I wear super short things. It's either you don't want people throwing up from seeing god-knows-what, or you just hate people leering at it.
  5. You took care of me when I was super sick.
  6. My goggies love you.
  7. You love my fats no matter what.
  8. You're so sexy when you bowl.
  9. You won my heart over with a song!

Beamish Horse

Jo: Oooooh! Horsey!

Horse: Argh, another freaking tourist.

Jo: Ooooohhh so furry....!

Horse: They don't feed me, all they do is poke me, laugh at me, take unauthorised photos, and touch me.

Jo: You're so cute , I could bring you home!

Horse: Your hair is even longer than mine!

Jo: You're so brown!


Jo: Horseyyyyyyyyyy *drools*

Horse: Great.

Call Day 2008

Contrary to popular belief, I am a barrister.

Many people find it hard to swallow, because you know, I'm more like a rockstar than anything else, besides hippie.

Good old days, things were not much easier or simpler, but still good old days, where access to Primark, Dixie Chicken and H&M were easily available.

Me and Mum at the Great Hall after I got my certificate.

Me and Papa infront of the Chapel.

Me in front of Lincoln's Inn, London.

Boy, the Bar was tough, but it sure beats doing the CLP!

Thank God I made it!

Oh btw, these photos are a year late!


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Winky :)

I have a new puppy.

Her name is Winky.
The reason why I call her Winky is because when she looks at you, she'll casually slowly wink one eye. That is so adorable!!!!

I picked her up from the roadside whilst on my way to lunch with the pops and the mops.
I screamed for my pop to stop the car and he jammed the breaks.

I saw this little girl hiding behind a broken piece of concrete slab looking at me while the car drove past. Don't know why I was looking in that direction, but I guess it was fate that brought us together.

When she reached home, I sat down patiently and removed almost all the flea and ticks from her body. Now she is very clean! And I dug her ears as well!

This is Winky in her favourite nook. She sleeps there all the time, and retreats back after food is served. She hardly barks unless TingTing annoys the shit out of her and she's very shy. She never used to respond to her name and always ignores you. She also likes looking at the sky and/or the ceiling.

This is Winky. She is a mongrel with pigmented tongue. She has very long limbs, however a very short and stubby tail. She is adorable.

This is Winky telling me that she won, by sticking her tongue out, cos I can't reach her in the bushes.

She doesn't poop or pee in the house. She goes into the garden to do it. She is the only dog in the house that does this.

Truly a jungle dog!

Very well mannered!

A photograph that shows Winky looking at the sky/ceiling/fan longingly. Perhaps she has the dreams to fly. Who knows? :)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

My new opit.

sorry for not blogging for such a long time.

I just had a tiresome trip of me driving up to kl to and fro chauffering my parents! hahahah. went back to klang to attend my cousins long awaited wedding. it was amazing. the performance was tops and the food was the best! truly the ijok way!! hahaha

so today is the first day of work at my new office in JB.

here are a few things I love about it:

I love my super amazing big and spacious room with air con.

I love my super big and long table with the 2 client chairs in front of it.

I love my shutter blinds which I can close to do whatever I want and not want people to see.

I love my DOOR which I can close whenever I want to.

I love my printer, flat screen monitor and my personal direct line.

I love the black leather couch at the reception.

I love the kitchen, with fridge, sink, plates and what not.

I love the 2 toilets, one with inbuilt shower (which either means OT and me living in the office, or me showering whenever I want to).

I love the video conferencing room, with many many gadgets including a flat screen plasma that I do not know how to use.

I love the fact how shiny and marblised the floor is!

I love the fact that I have the keys and theres a swipe card to enter the glass door!

I love the fact that theres a panic button that I can push incase some lunatic comes waving a gun at our glass door!

I love the fact that theres TV to watch, however, will not do so incase I get fired.

And the best part is, there is no one here to judge me!



Tuesday, July 21, 2009


so i don't hate you.

but you're a still a fucking douchebag.

you're a fucking asshole.

you have no gratitude.

you have no class.

you have no manners.

she was probably right choosing to leave you for someone else.

so did I.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Daddy + Mummy loves me.

today I treated my family to a sumptuous meal in Kota Tinggi. It is this quaint little bistro/bakery that daddy stumbled into while on his trips to the beach.

We all ate like pigs. And funnily, now at 130am, I'm starved again. I MUST be a pig THEN. HAHA.

And the bill costed peanuts.

The drive was a tad far, but hey, Toyota helps you save petrol.

We were all just talking and talking and I started singing 'Que Sara Sara' because I was bored (yes I tend to sing to entertain myself). Daddy suddenly spoke up and said

'Hey, you know there was a tune I used to sing to you when you were a baby that made you sleep?'

I didnt know it till he sang, and it sounded so familiar and it brought tears to my eyes.

Not only was the melody heartwrenching, the words and the sentiments were very touching.

It goes like this,

'Joan-na, Daddy loves you so..... Joan-na, Daddy loves you so......'

Simple few words that are repeated, but the melody is soothing, calming and sad at the same time. Mum said the first time he sang this song, my mouth downturned and it seemed that I was tearing at his sad tune.

Of course mum also had a tune, which I could play it on the piano.

It goes like this,

'Mama yang (love in Malay), Papa yang,.......' again a few words in a melody but it truly expresses the love my parents had for me.

And whenever I heard these lullabyes it'd send me straight to dreamland. works like magic.

Mum used to stroke my forehead and BAM! I'm off to dreamland.

Ah, the simpler times.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I actually enjoy being alone in my room, and I rarely want to leave my house.

I love staring at the oscillations of the fan on my ceiling as I lay on my bed doing- nothing.


I think there is something very wrong with me.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

First few signs of ageing.

First sign of ageing:

1. You no longer have the sudden urge to dress up and go out at night - any night - even friday night. You no longer have the urge to wear super scantily clad cloths and put on drag make up. Hell you don't even have the urge the do something to your hair.

2. You no longer have the craving for alcohol. Unless its accompanied with Karaoke singing. You no longer have the need to get drunk, randomly snog someone, and stagger all the way back home. Hangovers are history.

3. You want to sleep at a proper time ie before 11pm. Anything after that is atrocious

4. You rather sleep than go out. Because sleep is so important you shiver at the thought of losing sleep and wasting money outside to get wasted.

Hell, I'm growing old :(

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

To those who feel like giving up

To those who feel like giving up, or feel that their problems are so huge, that they have no idea how to overcome it.

This video will be an inspiration to you.

Please watch this.

Monday, July 13, 2009

My little girls :)

Ok, so everyone knows I have a new Fila puppy, Ting Ting, which would *hopefully* soon grow into a dog bigger and more ferocious than our darling dainty Rose is.

I haven actually given everyone a proper introduction on my lovely girls.

Here goes.


She is a 40 year old (dog years, mind you) virgin St Bernard who's never had a childhood.
She grew up in our home being the youngest of the family with no other puppies to play with.
So now she's reliving her childhood (just like late MJ) and playing with our little Ting Ting.
She loves wet wipes on her face and her dewlap and paws every now and then.

She gets excited when you bring out a comb or a towel; She likes being cleaned.
She has long lashes which many perceive to be falsies planted on her.

Loves showers but hates getting her head wet.

Doesn't understand any other instructions besides
"mum mum (eat)"
"sit" (sometimes she ignores this)
"come" (only when food is offered)
"paw" (usually gives the same paw over and over again)

I am sure she fully understand what we say, she's only selective obeying.

I'm sure her poop is bigger than her arse orafice.

And it doesn't stink - that bad.

She drools uncotrollably.
Love naps and people pampering her.

Loves corn.

Has really huge ticks on her.

Makes friends with the rodents (aka rats) that live in my garden.

Has 2 sidekick magpies that she loves chasing.
Hates it when people take her food. That's the only time she'll snap.

She is terribly afraid of cats. She runs away when cats hiss at her.

Thats all I can think of now.


Ting Ting

She is a rapidly growing dog who will chew at anything and everything.
Has very sharp and long fangs and is annoying.

Name is derived from the little doggy bell that makes the 'ting ting' sound whenever she runs. We were too lazy and dumb to think of a proper name for her.

She was adopted from the dog farm with terrible skin disease.


Yawns uncontrollably and suspected of possible narcolepsy.

Has really big paws for a dog her size. Bellys too big for the head. Heads too small.

Gets really rough when playing tug-of-war.

Gets annoyed when she cant bite you when you slap her, so she barks at you.

Loves taking naps in peoples laps ie sleeps on you.

Enjoys a little SM when people bite her cheeks - hard.
Screams bloody murder when you leave the space for a bit - not even to the kitchen!

That's all I can observe of her now :)

Sunday, July 12, 2009


I know it is unforgivable that I have been MIA for so long. But see, I can't blog when I'm at work. And I can't blog because the dumb internet was down ! See? I'm totally excused! (It's not as if anyone has missed me, you know!).

This past month of non-updating has seriously been fun. I have been on a sabbathical for now, the second week. And I'm enjoying. I get to sleep till now, and wait for the internet to be fixed to come online!

I know there are tons of things I should prolly put on here, but most ugly than not, so I will spare the world of the insanity but just to inform that I'm still not dead.

And I'm on a crazy diet. Which drives me nuts with not carbs.


I know, I've gained weight. But this diet is looking a little too drastic!

And I'm not losing weight. SO WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? HAHAHAHA.

Ok. Time to go search for food. x