Sunday, December 5, 2010

The day I thought my father died

My parents and I, and many other relatives went to Korea last week for a family vacation. It was freezing cold, but the sights were amazing.

So we arrived at Everland, Korea's theme park and death land. My dad insisted on taking the roller coasted which was branded the world's steepest and longest death ride.

My dad said he wanted to sit on it as it was his life long dream to do it.

WTF. My 61 yr old dad wasn't even screened at the counter for old age. Stupid staff of Everland.

So, being the filial daughter I am, despite my fear of heights, I decided to accompany him on this death ride. Its better that my dad die next to me than some poor stranger having to realise, at the end of the ride, there was a dead stubborn man next to her/him.

My dad was so stubborn there was no way I could have dissuaded him from taking the death ride.

Normally, one has to only worry about his own safety while on the ride, whereas I, the idiot who loves her parents too much, had to worry about HIS safety and MINE. Argh.

So as the rollercoaster went up it was totally fine and dandy. But when it reached its peak, mind you it was pitch black during winter at 630pm, I realised that the rollercoaster would be taking a 90degree death plunge. That was how steep it was. So when the rollercoaster went down, I felt my heart in my mouth and the gravity of it all had pushed all air out of my lungs. There was no screaming as it was almost impossible. My dad kept exceptionally quiet and I was thinking, FUCK ME DEAD. He's dead.

That was how steep the ride was. The impact must have given him a heart attack. After a few seconds, his head fell on my shoulder.

That reaffirmed my fear of his death. That was the next thing a dead man would do. Fall dead on your shoulder. I've never felt more empty. I've literally killed my dad by allowing him to get on this ride. I've killed him. I've killed him and I could get away scot free. But that wasn't the point. The point was that he was dead.

At a less death terrifying aptitude on the ride, I took the opportunity to scream, "pa, pa! Are you ok?" and to my relieve he screamed out, too, "ok! ok! ok!"

FUCK MY LIFE and thank God almighty he didn't die. The ride wasn't over yet. I reckon it to be about 2 mins long. So after every plunge I screamed out to him to see if he was alive, and thank God, he was.

I must say, at that very moment, that 2 whole minutes, even though I was fighting so hard to keep myself from being flung out of the ride, I was only thinking about my Dad's well being and if he was ok. I couldn't care less if I died, but my dad, I couldn't let him die just like that. I hated myself from being unable to dissuade him from getting on the ride. But as they say, stubborn as a bull/obstinate as an ox. It was unfortunate that he was born in the year of the ox.

And as true as the zodiac of the Ox, my dad was a fit as an Ox. I would think that any other 61 year old WOULD have died of a heart attack on that ride.

As soon as the ride ended, my dad even put up both his hands to give me a high 5. The bloody cheek he has. I'm just glad he didn't die. As I got off, my legs turned to jelly. I kept my eyes closed the whole ride as I knew I couldn't take it. I couldn't take the adrenaline rush and I couldn't take the height. I would have literally burst a brain vessel and died. But knowing that my dad was alive, and have accomplished one of his life dreams was more than enough for me.

When we met up with my mother, I burst into tears as I couldn't hold back the fear of losing a parent. I kept crying and crying as I was so afraid that dad would die and I would inevitably be responsible for his death. My mum got hopping mad at him for being irresponsible, which he was. But what is there to do. He is my father, and it's too old to change him now! I still love him nevertheless.

And here's a token of the ride showing a picture of yours truly peeing in her pants.



Please forgive the double chin. My eyes were shut all the time and there was no time or strength for me to ensure that I was ready for any surprise camera. Sigh.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Dream room



It'll be a dream come true if in future ( in my home with the husband and the kids etc) if I have a special room allocated for my crafts.

A place where I can go to relax to do my beading work, my quilting, my crafts and painting.

Gosh. Is it too much to ask?

LOL.

A dream is a dream.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Soap & Glory



Soap & Glory.

I swear by it.

Smells like heaven, works like magic.

These people from UK really are geniuses.

Few more scrubs and those backarm bumps will be gone!

I remember vividly that i scrubbed them away when I was in the UK.

And now sephora has it. OH THE JOY!!!!!!

(and the amount on my CC bills.)

Try it, it really works wonders.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

It SUCKS

because one of the diamonds fell off the diamond ring that you gave. It has been on my finger for the past almost 1.5yrs and I never took it off.

So as I was typing stuff at work I was shocked to see a black dot on my ring and as I peered in to scrutinise abit closer, WTF A DIAMOND FELL OFF.

SCREW YOU LAZO FOR SELLING DIAMONDS WITH BADWORKMANSHIP.

sigh.

oh wells.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Sunday, November 7, 2010

At this point in time. I must say, I'm very contented and happy that you're here. And you're just being you.

And that I love you. No matter how crazy I get.

Muah.
You know why people hardly bully me?

Even though i'm so soft and silly?

HWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWHA





Because my brother will shoot the shit out of you. And he's not afraid to do so!
TO PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE CHIO/HOT/LENGLUI WNEN THEY CLEARLY ARE NOT.

BEAUTY HAS A SOCIAL STANDARD AND THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN 'OH, SHE'S PRETTY' AND 'OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.'


STOP TILTING YOUR HEADS AND TRYING TO WIDEN YOUR EYES. IT SCARES THE BEJEEZUS OUTTA ME.

STOP DOING ANYTHING UNNATURAL. UNLESS YOU'RE SOCIALLY ACCEPTED AS CUTE AND HAVE LIKE 200 GUYS ADDING YOU EVERYDAY ON FB, THEN FORGET ABOUT IT.

OK, GIVEN I AM A HYPOCRITE AND TILT MY HEAD AND DO ALL THE CUTE STUFF, BUT ITS OK BECAUSE I AM CUTE IN A FAT WAY :D

DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU HAVE DOUBLE CHINS OR OTHER FLAWS.

LOVE THE WAY YOU ARE, AND PEOPLE WILL LOVE YOU TOO.

TRY TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, AND WE'LL ONLY LAUGH AND MOCK YOU.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Women and their sense of smell



Did you know that a woman chooses her man mainly by his smell and not how he looks?

There was a study once done by a lab and they made these men (ranging from smoking hot to butt ugly) run on the treadmill till they sweat, then swab their sweat on these teddy bears and handed them to the women. Then coming as a shock, not all the women picked the teddy bear sweat belonging to the hot guy! They all picked the ugly guy's sweat! Its just the thing that if the guy is butt ugly, there wont be a chance in hell for the woman to even go near him, furthermore smell his sweat.

Now I'm slightly more grown up and exposed to men, I can safely say, it is all true.

Women are attracted to men smell.

I have a friend who even loves the smell of her man's armpit! That is the extent of it.

Plus I have a few male friends who were model quality and you'd think you'd be attracted to him - its just that his man smell doesnt smell quite right. It doesn't stink, but it just doesnt feel - right.

This doesn't give men the excuse not to shower and just do lunges and smell like sweat all day. We of course love to smell men at their cleanest possible. Of course, cologne is important, but that is only just optional!

I love the salty oily smell on my man's face whenever I press my nose into his cheeks (FACE NOT ASS!).

I dont know. Maybe I'm weird this way!

They say women have better and heightened senses of smell. Like how they can smell their own menses, perfumes off other women, bitches from miles away and how their men are lying their pants off. It's a gift really that men aren't bestowed with.

LOL.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Robin



Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you, Robin.

The devil spawn of our devil dog, Ting Ting.

Look how cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

You should see batman (Robin's other sister). She's black like her mum and has a white patch above the nose.


It seems that words have been forgotten after so long. No more sweet nothings. No more sweet texts. No more cute things that couples do at the beginning.

As much as the need for rekindling is needed, the bond is still there and it just gets needier and needier (for me!).

Though the much needed words to be said are little, and the words for anger are in excess, I think I should take some time to tell you how much I really care.




Thank you Donky. For always being there even most of the time you're silent.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Junk Sale

Last Friday I participated a junk sale along with my friend Kris.

It was a good time to sell all my shit to earn some money to go to Korea. Yes, I'm THAT poor.

ANYWAYs, my brother had to help me carry all my stuff up many stairs, many elevators and many many bags.

Then as he left me there to set up my racks alone, I saw him turn his head back to look at me several times and each time with eyes and face redder than the other.

Then I knew he was worried to leave me there alone.

And my heart went 'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww' cos I knew my big bro loves me alot.

Nyehehehehehehehehe.

Batman and Robin



I haven't slept in 2 days.


I came home from my friend's son's first birthday and I was shocked to find Tingting playing with a white rat.... which turned out to be her kid.

I WAS LIKE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

So now, she has 2 puppies.

and the puppies is white with black and black with white.

Like HEI BAI WU CHANG. The spirits that ferry your soul to hell.

Not surprised seeing that their mother is part dog, part devil.

And I just had a heart attack sunday when rose was just minding her own business with tingting (probs in motherhood mode) jumped up and bit rose till both her ears were shredded and that part of her mouth was pierced by her own teeth. There was alot of dog screaming, baby screaming, me screaming, my sis in law screaming, my maid screaming etc etc. And alot alot of blood. Like a massacre.

We came to a conclusion that tingting has gone flipping mad with jealousy (shes tied up all the time cos shes crazy) and motherhood agressiveness.

And tingting isn't the most maternal mother. She kept sitting on her puppies neck. well especially the white one, we don't think she likes her that much cos she wasn't like her colour (mix-bred with dalmation).

Oh, and I've decided to name them batman and robin. We'll see when they grow up which name is more suitable for who!

Toodles. I'm off to crankydom.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Just when I thought I've lost all hope in you, you surprised me with roses!

Thank you.

But it doesnt mean I've forgiven your lazy ways already!

Thursday, October 21, 2010



I am an honest person.

This is the exact (well, near exact) cartoon of me!

See how my belly is round and how big my boobies are?

Ok la, given hair not so long and I don't have a doll cut. But people who see this thinks of me!

And I love wearing flip flops.

And always is spotted with some junk food in my hand.

And I LOVE RIBBONS!!!!

And my face is super round.

nyehehehehehe

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Well said.

"..........................My mother is the darkness of my existence. She has constantly bullied me in her desire to always feel like she’s “better” than me, somehow, and she’ll buy me things as though that makes up for her bullshit. She has always harassed me and yelled at me for being fat (she hates fat people, even if they’re her own children—so much for unconditional love), which only exacerbates my own depression and stress. I just can’t deal with this. I can’t. I hate feeling so downtrodden because of her, and it’s just not healthy for me. I feel like somehow, I’ve subconsciously stayed fat just to spite her for being so overbearing. She won’t let me do so much as breathe without having some negative bullshit to say about it.............."

Well said. Well said.

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Dead Duck

The Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the Vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done ny testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The Vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan ...."

Thursday, October 7, 2010

King Julian






AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa
AHAHAAHAHah
ahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I couldnt' stop laughing. Because it is that good.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Karma

My dad forwarded me this mail yesterday.. and I thought it'd be good to share it with everyone...

A woman baked chapati for members of her family and an extra one for a
hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapati on the Window-sill, for
whosoever would take it away. Everyday, a hunchback came and took away the
chapati. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as
he went his way: "The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes
back to you!" This went on, day after day. Everyday, the hunch-back came,
picked up the chapati and uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with
you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The woman felt irritated. "Not a
word of gratitude," she said to herself...

"Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean? "One day,
exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this
hunchback," she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the Chapatti
she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her
hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said Immediately, she threw
the chapati into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window-
sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapati and muttered the
words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to
you!" The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war
raging in the mind of the woman.

Everyday, as the woman placed the chapati on the window-sill, she offered a
prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For
many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return. That
evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised
to find her son standing in the doorway.. He had grown thin and lean. His
garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw
his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile
away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then
an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was
kind enough to give me a whole chapati."As he gave it to me, he said, "This
is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is
greater than mine!" " As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale.


She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapati
that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would
have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then
that she realized the significance of the words:"The evil you do remains
with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"
peace on earth alas! The kittens are saved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

The guy she contracted was so unprofessional and knew jackshit of his job he even dropped the kitten from a height of 10feet.

then as last resort he had to hack a small portion of the wall about d size of my palm to let the kittens out. he was so afraid the kitten would scratch him. WTF??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? WTF is wrong with him and her? WTF. Idiots.

But the damage to the wall was minimal and the kittens are alive. the mother was walking about downstairs looking for them.

Bless their souls.

Those who feel that animals lives are any less than humans should go fuck themselves.

Monday, October 4, 2010

There are no words to describe how mad I am now.

My secretary, or rather, she prefers to be the boss of me, removed the ceiling headboards when she heard kittens meowing.

She told the contractor to come and remove the kittens, but was only able to grab one and threw it out of the office onto the roads. God bless the kittens soul.

The rest of the kittens unfortunately fell through a hole in the partition, and is stuck in the wall partitions and cant get out. The level is too high for anyone to get down and the hole is too small. The whole office wreaks of cat poo and the cat hasn't ate or drank anything in 2 days. I suspect they are dying already and one may be dead as the smell of poo is really strong.

I tried for 3 hours to get the kittens out but what did you do? You just sat there and yakked and yakked on the phone. fucking hell.

FUCKING BITCH. Doesn't even want to call the contractor and I had to call the contractor myself. And he was reluctant to come.

FUCKING BITCH. Its all your fault. You fucking murderer. Who told you to be a smart alec and remove the ceiling boards?

I hope you burn in hell while you watch me try to rescue the kittens and you yakking on the phone with your friends. I hope you burn in hell.

You deserve to be dead for all the things you've done, instead of the innocent kittens.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Malaysians

I flip open the newspapers and there is not one page that I go through that racism isn't there.

Racism.

Why has Malaysia gotten till this stage?

Why can't the races get along with each other like Singapore? For obvious reasons I will not mention (here or anywhere for that matter), it is depressing seeing our motherland in this state.

Malaysia is a beautiful country. Without our 3 major races, Malaysia would be nothing. Let's be honest. Each of the races are vibrant and colourful in their culture, history and ways of life. There is no denial of that. And to incorporate all these different things into everyday living - together, makes it even more beautiful.

I have best friends who are Indian AND Malay and I find them amazing and would not wish to be torn apart from them.

There is only one thing that is common in all Malaysians.

All Malaysians are bound by FOOD.

Let me give you a brief description as to why each race plays an important part in our nation's growth.




CENDOL. You tell me which person can resist cendol. Even those patients with bursting cholestrol levels will die for this local dessert (of which origin is unknown to me). Indian, Malays and Chinese. We've all had it, and we all have loved it for what it is. A cold, tasty treat. And we're happy standing under the hot sun slurping on these yummy babies till the last drop of ice.

Cendol is basically made out of ice, santan (coconut milk), red beans (paste), gula melaka, green jelly worm thingys and sometimes pulut.

Ok. We can split this up in terms of ingredients to each race.

Santan comes from the indians (because its usually the indian men who sell them at the market? - zzzz -__-'' don't kill me please! ) they also add lots of it to their delicious curries.

Red beans come from chinese people. red bean mooncake, red bean bun. ice also comes from the chinese i think because of the ice balls back then!

gula melaka - definitely the malays. i think i saw it a few times when i was a kid on tv3 when there weren't many programs in the day so they'd just schedule educational programs such as gula melaka and rubber tapping etc etc.

i believe the pulut and the green worm thingy also comes from the malays- might be wrong, so open for discussion. but everytime i hear d word pulut i think of the malays and their ketupats (YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM)

ANYWAY, this post is getting out of hand because I thought I'd give a witty and charming post on how our 3 races should get along with each other to produce an even better country. But alas it turned out to be cringey. and sad. and pathetic. I am depressed with my own writing skills.It has gone down the drain since my secondary school days. ANYWAY.....

Just like this desert. If is lacking of any ingredient, it'd taste awful definitely. imagine drinking ice with just gula melaka and the other condiments, or pure santan with gula melaka or ice with santan. Everything needs to be combined to get the greatest combination of all. The perfect dessert for such a hot weathered country.

I sincerely hope that all Malaysians will get along with one another. Don't let a matchstick destroy the whole forest. Malaysia has come too long a way to be split apart just like that.

1 Malaysia. 1 Country. 1 Vision.

Lame, I know. I tried to be cool, but didn't come off exactly!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Marriage : predestined or by chance?

姻缘

Do you think your life partner is predestined for you?

Is the term 'match made in Heaven' even true?
Or is it a term played up by the media to get more hits on air by tugging the heart strings of the more vulnerable?

How will you ever know that he is made for you?

Some cases women think that the perfect man they married is the one made for them because they have fully ticked all the criterias in their box, but realise later in their marriages that perhaps it was not so.

We all know that the world has evolved into such that bread overcomes love.

How will you ever know that you're not making a big mistake? Is there a time period where both parties' true colours are revealed and from there we see if they are still the one? How long is this time period? What if they are such good actors that they only reveal it after marriage and that time you're fucked?

Is it love at first sight? Is that predestined? And by love i mean - know that he'll be with you forever and not i want to rip off his pants.

Is it destiny? Is it by chance? Choice?

I do not know.

How is ti that you truly know that the person is meant for you? Is it when it comes to a marriable age and that if you're still with him then he definitely is the one?

One of life's many unanswered questions.

Do you marry him because he IS the one and you just can't live without him? Or do you marry him because your time is up and that he is able to make do?

hmmmm.....

Bad Singaporean Drivers

This morning as I was rushing to work (as usual), a Singaporean car made an abrupt stop at the corner of the road that people were supposed to turn in. No fucking signal. And stopped there somemore hoping that someone would reverse the car out? FUCK YOU LA. No parking means move on la! CIBAI.

Then we tried to signal to the right to overtake him, then that fucker also turned to the right. NINABEH. YOUR LICENSE FUCKING KOPI LICENSE ISIT? COME TO MALAYSIA NO NEED TO KEEP A WATCH OUT FOR OTHER DRIVERS? THEN YOU GET INTO ACCIDENT AND SAY THAT MALAYSIAN PEOPLE BULLY YOU?

FUCK YOU LA. CANNOT DRIVE PROPERLY, INCONSIDERATE, YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF AND HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME WHEN YOU FEEL VICTIMISED IN OUR COUNTRIES.

Cibai chinese middle aged man then suddenly made an abrupt stop to the left again searching for parking. LIN LAO BEH, PEOPLE GOT SO MUCH TIME TO PLAY CAR WITH YOU IS IT? FUCKING GIVE SIGNAL AND SLOW DOWN LA. YOU THINK WE PLAYING BUMPER CAR AH? CAR BANG D WONT SPOIL?

kaninabu. make my blood boil early in the morning. pukima.

This is a vulgar blog, i must tragically inform you people who are reading.

When I am mad, it is always for a reason. And obviously very bad drivers are a pet peeve of mine.

Fuck sia.

Dear Singaporeans,

its not that I hate you. But if you drive like fuck in Malaysia, you leave people no choice but to scratch your car, spit on your windows, puncture your tires, and road bully you. Please wisen up and learn to drive properly and be considerate when you are in a foreign country. We are not uncivilised people. Do not think you're more high class than us and that you can bully us.

Do not forget where you came from. most of you once came from Malaysia too.

Kacang lupakan kulit.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Where the hell is my drink????



Quoting Kay, "WHERE THE HELL IS MY DRINK????"

:)

What is the purpose of pubic hair?

I used to wonder what the hell pubic hair was for.

It's unsightly and it traps your pee and all that gunk and gives your vagina a funky musky smell.

It's not even serving a purpose like your nostril hair that traps dust.
THERES NO DUST WHEN YOU'RE WEARING PANTIES ALL DAY?! So what the hell it's for?

So. I shave and wax myself.

My mother was appalled at that idea and said one should never shave or wax.

Her reason was, "So when you're raped, the rapist will be so disgusted by your ugly vagina and not rape you!"

WTF -________________-''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Monday, September 27, 2010

Jeremiah 6:16

The Lord says: Stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the eternal proven reliable ways, Ask which way leads to blessings, the best beneficial way, then walk in it,and you will find rest and peace for your soul.
Jeremiah 6:16

I know that this was meant for me when I read it, because

a) It truly is the question in my heart

and

b) it was taken from 6:16. My birth date.

My soul isn't at peace and I'm at cross roads now. I think its the accumulation over the years of restrained personal growth that made me feel this way. What others want from me. I never truly allowed myself to did want I want, and those who asked from me never allowed me to make a choice of my own.

sigh.

God, if you're listening, please give me a sign that the path I've taken is the correct one.

Please.

7 days

Queeny.

Its been one week since you passed away. We want you to know that we still think about you all the time. I come to you place and I missed you standing at the gate and barking at me and wagging your tail. I miss taking off my shoes and you running away with it and destroying it. I actually miss you jumping up and scratching the daylights out of me.

There is no way that we don't miss you. Especially your master. Ever since your passing, he couldn't even hold a smile properly and he was always looking sad and lost. Even the arrival of his new car couldnt make him excited over anything.

You must know what difference you made to his life. And we truly hope you're in a much better place now. Like what the others say, all dogs go to Heaven. We hope that your Heaven is filled with shoes, underwear (for you to nom on), bones and everything else that humans eat because you were so picky you didnt want to eat dog food.

Everyone misses you. You made such a difference in our lives.

Eventhough your master is getting a new dog soon, we want you to know that it's not replacing you. There is no other dog that can take the place of your vibrancy and life. It's only to fill that growing empty void in your master's heart that i can't fill.

We miss you.

We hope you're nomming on someones shoe in Heaven and looking down on us and taking care of your master.

He stares at your pictures and his tears just roll down.

It's your 7th day away from us. Please come home for a visit if you can.

We really miss you.

Love always.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

After today's incident I realised how compassionate my boyf was.

And I wonder if I died or anything untoward happened to me, if he'd cry like he did today.

But then I can't compare myself to a dog. We're totally different entities. IF he had a mistress, then perhaps I could compare with that tramp.

Just woke up from a nap. Actually cried myself to sleep.

Going to miss not having a dog bark down the whole house when I go to his place.

Goodbye Queeny

You know when they say that a dog is a man's best friend?

That shit is true.

And I only thought it happened in the movies.

Today I witnessed what we call the human-animal bond.

Today, Queeny, 8 months, passed away.

She, like many times we taught her, never looked both ways while dashing out of nowhere and KNOCKED into a car.

She foamed at the mouth and then vomitted blood. And then she died.

It was the boyf's dog and he wasn't there for her. He was with me. And when we got there, she had already died. One eye was open still. He was crying and said that she was waiting for him to come home to see her.

Immediately I felt a pang of guilt. Why did I force him to be with me? He could have been there to call her home instead of her wandering alone outside the house. Why did I force him to adopt her from the drains? However she could have been eaten by vietnamese, or knocked down by other cars.

I don't know. Everything seemed to be my fault and I can't stop feeling guilty. The whole time I was trying to console him. He has been crying for 6 hours. He started talking to the camera while looking at Queeny's pictures. He laid on the bed and sobbed. He kneeled beside Queeny's warm body and sobbed while she lay lifelessly on the floor.

I stood next to him, my heart breaking. Watching the love of my life having his heart broken. The dog was his companion. She was there for him when I couldn't. She was there to cheer him up when I wasn't. Basically, she was everything I could not be - She was his best friend. She was there when he went to bed, and was there when he woke up. Although she was only in the family for less than 8 months, she had already become such a big part of his life. He loved her so much. Fed her the best dog food there was.

I cried, not because I loved the dog. Yes I like the dog, but there was no bonding. I hardly ever played with it. I was hardly ever at his place. I cried because I saw him crying. It was MY FAULT that he was crying. Why did I let him get into all these emotional attachment by just doing a good deed ? I'm now sure that if I left the dog alone, other good samaritans would have brought it home and I would have saved the one I love from such heart ache.

He bought a house with a huge garden, just so Queeny could run about in it. Now, it would only be an empty space. He was so upset when we came back from the clinic after paying them to bury her. He sat in the car and said that she would know that he was back, and she would wait for him at the door when he left. She was always there. That made me feel inadequate as a girlfriend, but what is there to do. There was nothing I could do that could even hold a candle to a dog. And that was a fact.

He just cried and cried.

Yes, I had a few encounters with Queeny. She left me several memorable scratches. She killed many of my shoes. She menstruated all over his bed spread and she infected most of the family with ticks. That idiot dog. She was so good at everything - all except watching for traffic. The house wasn't even located on the main road!

She was meant to die. The boyf's mum said that she was blocking some impending disaster and died in its place instead. That made him feel worse. It was like Fatty - my chincilla. You've never heard of that story have you? Well that's cos it died a day after I bought it. I got dengue and I couldnt get out of bed. I knew it died. My dad thought I was going to die because I didnt even move and my fever was skyrocketing. He never even came into my room to see me for that whole week. He was too afriad. I felt guilty that it had to sacrifice its life so I could live. But perhaps that was the way of life.

I knew Queeny loved him very much and would have died for him. It's just so sad when words become reality.

I love Queeny, but I love my boyf more. I've never seen a grown man so upset about an animal. I guess that's the power of having a dog.

It was weird that the dog crashed into the car, rather than the car crashed into the dog. Queeny didn't have any visible wounds. But there was evident internal bleeding. I guess she gave her life to save his.

I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better. But there really isn't.

For once in my life, I really don't know what to do.

Last night we even played with her before I left. We had so much fun. She's gone. Just like that.

Goodbye Queeny. Thank you for keeping your master company. I know you're in Heaven now, but please keep a look out for him and keep him safe. I love you.

Monday, September 20, 2010

How a baby's name can ruin his/her life

Ok. We've got to face it. We live in an asian country so our pronounciations all fucked up. PLEASE for the LOVE OF YOUR CHILD, don't give them names where it can ruin their lives.

Here's a few examples.

Nolan - means Chariot-fighter, champion
But in Asian countries, the older people, or the uneducated ones, or the ones who just want to take a piss out of his name, will call him NO-LAN. LAN = Dick ok! Means, he'll be no-dick. Boy, I want to see the guy who grows up being called no dick all the time!

Kendall -Exalted effigy
Such a beautiful English name. But in Msia and Sg, people will start calling her Candle. -_-'' Please. People here aren't sophisticated enough to accept this name!

Maddox - Good and Generous
While Angelina Jolie's adopted Asian son can be called that (because his family is classy), people here will only call him a Mad Ox. It's worse if he was born in the year of an Ox, and even more unfortunate if he has an explosive temper.

Mario - God of Mars
Whereas many celebs are called Mario because of their italian descents, people here will definitely think you're a short italian cartoon character who is always out desparately trying to save your princess peach, who is ALWAYS unforunately in another castle!

Miranda - She who must be admired
I got to admire this name when I watched Sex and the City. Miranda was this strong beautiful lawyer friend of stupid Carrie Bradshaw. She is gorgeous and funny. But here, when you say Miranda, people will say, Orange. Or Strawberry.

Maggie - Means Pearl
Short for Margret. Beautiful name. But here, when I say Maggie, you say............................? I guess you know the answer already!

Colby
One of the more popular names now. But Colby only sounds like dog fart in mandarin. >_<

Madelyn
Another beautiful english name which I wanted to name my daughter when I was a little kid. Then as I repeated that name several times, it started to turn out like 'meddling'. I definitely don't want a meddling child! :(

I guess this is enough to show everyone that not every name is suitable for asian kids! Please choose properly. A name can make or break a life!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

How to choose the gender of your unborn child!

Did you know that you could choose your baby's sex before actually conceiving them? I used to hear my mum gossip to aunties about it, but when asked she said that I'm a kid and I shouldnt know! And guess what, now that I've asked her again, she again refused to tell me so! OMG. I'm still a kid in her eyes :(.

Anyway, with the technology of google! I have found the most ridiculous ways of choosing the sex of your kids!

For couples who are planning, enjoy!!!!

You're more likely to conceive a boy IF :

You have sex on the day of ovulation , as male sperm are thought to swim faster and reach the egg first

you reach orgasm before your partner, as this releases an alkaline fluid, thought to be more male-sperm friendly than the vagina's natural acidity

you have deep penetration during sex, such as from behind (doggie style)

your partner has a high sperm count. This is because male sperm are not as strong as female sperm, and so the higher the count, the more chance there is of a male sperm reaching the egg first

you avoid sex for a week before ovulation and then only have sex once on ovulation day, to keep the sperm count high

your partner suggested the love-making

you make love at night

you make love on odd days of the month

your partner keeps his genitals cool by wearing boxer shorts and loose-fitting trousers

you eat salty food, plenty of meat, fish, white flour, pasta, fresh fruit, certain vegetables, but avoid milk and dairy products, such as yoghurt and cheese, nuts, chocolate, shellfish and wholemeal bread.

Dads-to-be: Stock up on soda (especially cola drinks).

Gals, sleep to the left of your partner.

Make love when there’s a quarter moon in the sky.

Follow the compass — one of our users swears that pointing the woman’s head north while you make love guarantees a boy.

You're more likely to conceive a girl IF:

You have sex earlier on in your cycle, a few days before your day of ovulation. This is because female sperm are thought to be stronger and therefore last longer than male sperm, who will die off before reaching the egg

your partner reaches orgasm before you

you have sex frequently to lower your partner's sperm count, and so increase the chances of the female sperm reaching the egg first

you keep penetration shallow

you stop having unprotected sex four to five days before ovulation, to minimise the chances of the male sperm reaching the egg first

your partner keeps his genitals warm by wearing close-fitting underwear and tight trousers (although this isn't likely to do his general fertility any good!)

you suggested the love-making

you make love in the afternoon

you make love on even days of the month

you put a wooden spoon under your bed and a pink ribbon under your pillow

you drink plenty of milk and eat dairy products such as cheese and yoghurt, unsalted foods, rice, pasta, certain vegetables, mineral water, limited amounts of meat and potatoes, but avoid salt and any salty foods, wine and beer, fresh fruit, spinach, tomatoes and mushrooms, chocolate, coffee and tea.

Give in to your chocolate craving (or just eat sweets in general).

AND, theres also a gender calculator if you're interested!


Helps u calculate which month you want to do it to have a certain sex of a child!

Have fun!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Notebook

If I had to vote for the most romantic movie of the century, it'd be The Notebook. The people who crazily voted for it as one of the most romantic movies was correct. It is indeed the best, heartwrenching movie I've ever watched. Not such a good idea at 1130pm and when you have to work the next day.




Ok la, given it was a bit boring at the beginning (I've watched it 2 times, but cried nevertheless both times). I actually personally felt that the old couple did a better job at acting than the young couple. I don't know why. perhaps the years that made their love as strong was the sentimental romantic part that I was crying about.





So ok, the young couple was torn apart for years, then got back together and lived happily ever after... till she got dementia. She had to be admitted in the old folk's home, and he admitted himself in there as well, just to be with her.

That's where the sad part comes in. She drifts in and out for minutes sometimes, her memories come back and go. Her husband would always read the story to her everyday, a story that she wrote of them when they were young and all the things they did, bla bla bla. And then she'd come back from her dementia and remember him. Once suddenly, while they were dancing, her dementia struck and she was shocked at why he called her darling and then she went into panic and started screaming till the docs had to poke a needle in her. It was heartbreaking watching her husband watching her and cry.

Then one day, he had a heart attack, and the wife was so lost without him. Later at night he snuck into her room and they had a cuddle, and she asked if their love was strong enough to take them away together. And they passed away that night.

Fuck me dead. That was the saddest thing ever. Cried till my eyes were swollen today.

Go watch it. I swear the movie is even better than my synopsis of it!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Computers are definitely FEMALE



When I saw this, immediately I know that if the computer had a genitalia, it'd be a woman.

Putting this into reality, doesn't that sound familiar?

We get hopping mad with the bfs and they have NO FREAKING IDEA what the hell went wrong and kept trying to guess as we kept refusing to tell them, in hope that they'd know!?

FAT HOPE. THEY NEVER KNEW WHAT THEY DID WRONG AND NEVER KNOW.

See, men and women operate in the darndest ways that one can imagine. It is true when they say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus because we don't understand each other, at all.

Like how they don't understand floral patters, polka dots, we don't understand the need for computer games and the fantasy of half naked women pillow fighting.

Our wants, our needs , are all different from men.

We are extremely unreasonable people, you got to admit it. We always want everything and expect them to know everything (inside our head). But the sad part is, they don't have a clue. Hence they always end up buying us TERRIBLE PRESENTS when unguided.

Miscommunication is the key to the mother of all arguments. you get mad, he gets mad, everyone gets mad. Then the whole thing explodes and there would be the meltdown.

So women, tell your man wtf they did wrong, and save yourself a load of tears and trouble. Men are all literal. When you say nothing is wrong, they'd take the surface value and your whole plot to make him dig for more out of you will backfire miserably in your face.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

What happened to all the nice guys

If you're single, been hurt and thinking "WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE NICE GUYS?", heres an answer for you, and also an answer to my post below.

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"


Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST


I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

Unfavourable wives?

I have many hot lady friends (over the age of 32) who have everything. Career, cars, cards, fashion, invites to the hottest parties, guys. However, one thing is missing in the picture.

They lack a boyfriend, or more so, a permanent and stable life partner.

They are hot, they are glamourous, they work hard and they party even harder. On facebook I see their pictures turning up on every party there is in town.

Then the mother of all question strikes again,

ARE ALL WOMEN WHO PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR THE LEAST FAVOURED AMONG MEN TO BE WIFES?


Well, let's face the fact. The men may oogle at (and sometimes touch) you when you're out in clubs and in pubs, but when they go home, they want to to see their wifes scrubbing floors, wringing clothes and making their beds. Life is cruel. So are men.

I doubt men want their women to be competing other men over who's the better drinker, or getting their groove on the dance floor like Britney Spears, or getting so drunk you're unconscious. Its not good for their ego, not good for your image, and basically not good for you. You're supposed to be the mother of someone's child (eventually) and also someone's wife. No man wants to hear that the whole club did his wife in the toilet of the club, nor a child wanting to hear his or her mum having slept with all the other kids' dads and also being called a hooker. Its the cold hard truth, and I may be condemned for saying it, but shit happens, and the truth will always be the truth and YOU KNOW that people will talk anyway - more so in Asian countries.

If you're over 30, still in clubs and pubs 5 days out of 7, single, and still very hot (you may be wondering why you're hot and still single), please wake up. Men want to come home to wives, not someone they have to worry everytime you go out, whether other men will hit on you, whether you'll embarrass him or both. It's the cold hard fact that men WANT FACE. They are these egoistical creatures that have insatiable desires for having the pristine wife that scrubs and mops floors all day long.

You may be 30 now, but its a slippery slope into spinsterhood from here. 1 yr turns into 2, then 5 in a slip of an eye. Then you'll be 35 and still single (which is quite ok if you're very liberated, but not so much in Asian countries. People here are so traditional still) and wondering where your life went when you see your girl friends having 2 kids and complaining about stretch marks that never go away. Then you'll loudly say that you thank god you don't have 2 big burden to take care of, still keep your figure and all your stretchless skin when secretly within you're crashing inside thinking how you wish you belonged somewhere with people who need you to survive in life (eg, hubby, kids).

The men you'll meet will most definitely 95% be all bastards who are looking for a good time. And you may be on the other hand thinking, oh, he's nice, maybe.......NO! Men who go to clubs to meet women only want women for a nice time. All he's thinking is "OHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHH" Wedding bands fall off and come on again when the timing is correct. Do not trust men you meet in clubs to be single, or honest, or honest to you. It's like believing the man who said he has candy in the van, but you have to enter the van first to get it. Then you get cheated and used and then you start lamenting all the men on earth on what pure pricks they are bla bla bla bla bla, when at the first place, 10 yrs ago, you met them, but you screwed them over, time and again. And then sadly, you lost your chance to ever get married.

Men and clubs are the worst combination. Its something about the alcohol, smokes and the environment which makes them roll over the next morning and tell you, " I don't think we should see each other again/who the fuck are you?/ shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit/ I'm married and my wife is coming home today/ get the fuck out of my house/ thank you". Likelihood of them asking you out for food and more sex is also possible, you may be known as the booty call, or poontang. But. You have to keep in mind that MAYBE you may meet a good guy at a club, but he will definitely not bed you the first night he sees you. A proper gentleman first dates you out, buys you expensive dinner, and then attempt to bed you. That order.

I used to be a party goer to be honest. I partied from Monday till Sunday. Having only a break when I'm too hungover. I was 21. Then I realised that all men that came after me only wanted sex. Of course that wasn't in my agenda. That's not in all women's agendas. They want stability, they wan to belong somewhere, they want someone to take care of them. Then I realised that I shouldn't party so hard anymore. So I stopped drinking. It's been 2 years since I stopped drinking, and I still have the occassional drink every now and then to get the 'high' feeling, but I really try to stop it. It's good for my liver, good for my heart and basically everything else. The bf feels safer (in all senses) that I'm at home doing practically nothing but messing up my room and buying clothes online (which he partially funds for).

But its ultimately good for your health. Less smoke, less drink, less chances of meeting with accidents on the streets late at night. You're what the risk management people call the 'high risk investment' - not many people go for it.

This may somewhat come as a controversial topic in which feminists out there would berate me like hell, but who gives a shit. I'm only giving my honest thoughts, in my own blog, to people who sincerely want to settle down. Another advise would be to stop finding people out of your league, but thats another story for another time.

This is a disclaimer though, if I've offended you in any possible way, I apologise. What I write here does not mean it was targeted at you.

So the moral of my post would be : STOP PARTYING SO HARD AND GET INTO THE KITCHEN AND LEARN TO BAKE SOMETHING. THAT'S YOUR JOB, WOMAN.

Ultimately, there are only 2 groups of women. Women men marry, and women who men play around with. So which group are you? If you are (and honestly feel so) that you're the latter group, it's time to rethink your priorities, and start planning your life (unless you're honestly completely happy being single and still partying like a cougar when you're 43). I hope this serves as a wake up call for women who think they can party forever. You can not.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I figured that this post may gather some angry comments from my readers so I've also decided to lump in another section I'd like to call "Dreaming too far".

It's simple. Are you hot? Are you wife quality? Are you pleasant tempered and gentle? Are you kind and giving? If you're not, please don't expect men who look like someone from a Korean drama to fall onto your lap and fall in love with you!

If you don't look like Cinderella, or can do household chores like her, don't expect a Prince Charming!

We have to evaluate ourselves, and find someone who is in our league. I always have this tactic of choosing someone from the crowd who fancies the shit out of me. That way, I wouldn't face the possibility of a rejection! (Yay for my ego boost!)

Very likely women who still remain single at 35 and above are because :

-they've been divorced - don't want to go through that shit again

-widowed - my condolences (no choice lah that one)

-they have 9 cats.

-still waiting for THE ONE. wtf?
If you're still waiting for THE ONE, you would have met him at a marriable age 18-33. HELLO? You ok boh? at 35 you still looking for THE ONE? Don't dream lah. You've already passed him several years ago. You were just looking at the wrong crowd of guys. Wouldn't God have planned someone for you at the most reproductive age, than let you meet him when your eggs have already dried up?

Just settle lah, it's always better to have someone than no one. But when I say have someone, I don't mean :

-alcoholics
-cheating bastards
-drug addicts
-gamblers
-wife beaters
-lazy bastards
-gays (well they can be quite good company!)
-sex addicts
-rapists
-any other funky attributes.


*DISCLAIMER : Written under very bored circumstances. These are all pure shit I'm writing. Lighten up, don't be mad! nyehehehehe!

Waiting...

Is it weird that I'm impatiently waiting for him to ask me the question?

Ern turns 1






For Ern's 1st birthday, I made her fondant icing ducks to decorate on her cake.

Took me the whole night to figure out and then make some more little ducks

But it was worth it.

That's how much I love my niece :)

Can't wait till I start doing it for me kids.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Straight men and fashion

Was shopping with the boyf yesterday and I made the biggest discovery of the year.

That my boyf was definitely not gay. Well that's not the main point. The main point, leading me have this revelation was that he said something that got me pissing mad and puzzled at the same time.

I asked him about several outfits that were floral, polka dotted, stripped etc. He commented simply, " I don't think ANY men understand those patterns". That would be true if all men were straight. But the thing is, there are gay men. And GAY men KNOW about floral patterns etc. So this became my test factor to see if any other men had gay tendencies (doesn't mean they ARE gay, just that they have the genome that makes them lean closer to that).

He went on to say that MEN (straight men, I'm assuming at the moment, cos he's just simply an amoeba, one channel minded), only know sexy, conservative, cute (he also mentioned there was no such thing as cute, i don't know how that conversation went). So the cuttings of the dress were very important, and not so much of the motifs on the dress.

So through that my observation was that if the men had a few comments on the patterns on the fabric, its only because they're metrosexual (if they're not full fledged gay). Gay men have very good taste in fashion, and hence I can say that my boyf's not gay because what he wears are mostly crimes of fashion.

Anyway, just puzzled as he has no comments as to what I choose to wear, but more so of the length of it. Too short a skirt, NO. Maxis - NO. Skinny jeans - YES. Conservative clothes - YES. Oh well.

But, he did make a plus point when he bought me the heart shaped weaved wicker basket inspired handbag. It's very chic (I'm not saying vogue, cos it's not vogue standard, but good enough for me!).

Did you know big rings are making a come back? I'm so totally rocking the big ring fashion now! :D Will try to post some pics of the rings and bag up soon. Muahahahhaha.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

What I think about Sex and the City

To be honest, I love Sex and the City. The shows are great, the characters are vibrant and most of their fashion is good.

I've got to say that I don't take too kindly to what Miss Carrie Bradshaw has to say or wear.

She's the most insignificant character on the show and the more she tries to make it all about her, the more i find that i want to know about the rest of her very interesting friends.

She's neither here nor there. She has no stand, no morals in life, no fashion sense.

She wears the worst clothes, shoes, dates the worst men (except Aidan) and she writes the biggest bullshit. She gives women all hopes that by wearing terrible clothes and buying crazy expensive ugly shoes and walking 7 blocks, everything is fine. The thing is, no one can walk more than 5 blocks on those Manolo Blahniks. Who the fuck buys 50 pairs of Manolo Blahniks and has no money to even buy her own apartment? I guess its someone who write a weekly column next to adverts for penile dysfunctions. I have to say that everyone has to be involved in her problems and she gets freaking mad at people who don't want part of it. As if its her goddamn right to make people think that she's the most important character on the show!?

Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. These 3 I like, and I secretly feel that the show gets so many ratings because of them. I don't think anyone will tune in to watch a middle aged lady, falling in love with someone wrong, then letting him fuck her around, then break up, then meet a good guy, then treat him like dog crap then leaving him, then cheating on him, then wanting him back again, then telling him that she can not never see Big because he's a part of her life, at the expense of losing the possible "great man" of her life. bla bla bla bla bla. She angers me, but fortunately, I have the other 3 to rely on.

I must say, charlotte, miranda and samantha has one of the best fashion sense. They really inspire me with all thier colourful and bold ways (yet pleasing to the eyes) and that the fact that they have strong life principals and sticks to them. Yes, Charlotte has a stick up her ass most of the time, Samantha is a renowned slut and Miranda has issues, but none of them are as bad a Carrie.

Miss carrie, everything has to be about her. Why does she always wear nothing but a bra, or something over her that she might as well not wear because i can still see her god damn bra?! WTF? And wtf, why the hell does everyone's boobies appear on the shows except hers? Are her breasts ridiculously ugly or what? wtf?

Ok fine, just cos she produced that show, doesn't mean that she should over shadow others. In fact, I think the others are doing a better than she is. In life, in the fashion industry and on tv.




Still love the show though. Muahaha!

Cat love



hmmmmmmmm.

If only love is as simple as cat love!

But still, gives me a reason to go awwwww :D

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

How to lose weight effectively

1) Stop eating like fucking pig

The less you eat the less fats stored in your body. That's pretty much the most straight forward advise that I could give you. Stop grabbing that extra french fry thats lying in front of you. You don't need it to fill your empty soul.

2) You don't need condiments with your food.

Theres no need for salt, ketchup, mayo or anything else that makes the food taste humane. Yes. People on diet eats food that tastes like shit. If you're enjoying your food and its tasty, you're doing it the fucking wrong way.

3) Stop eating Kentucky Fucking Fried Chicken.

Or Macdonalds, or any other fast food for that matter. Anything that comes to your hands and plates within 2 minutes is fucking bad for you. Anything that takes an hour to cook over a slow fire is good. Remember, fried chicken bad. Caveman food, GOOD.

4) Practice cannibalism

You don't see any fat cannibals do you?

5) Start have sex. ALOT.

Sex burns off alot of calories. Don't give me that missionary bullshit. If you're on your back, you're not losing fat.

6) Stop drinking all those sweet drinks.

Anything sweet is bad. BAD. Anything is bitter is good. Sour is best.

7) Eat lots of lemons and chillis.

They are reputed to burn off fats.

8) Stop sitting on your fucking arse and start doing exercise.

You don't do any fucking exercise you don't lose any fucking weight. Simple as that.

9) Get depressed.

Most depressed people lose weight. I on the other hand, gain weight. If you're anything like me, you're screwed because you ultimately know life is depressing anyway.

10) Buy tiny clothes.

Squeeze your fats into the most imappropriate places and allow people to mock and scorn you. Your shamed self will automatically want to lose the weight.

11) Be anorexic, or bullemic.

It works wonders!

12) Fall in love with the most superficial fuck you can find.

The power of love can make you do all the impossibles.



Obviously you can see that I've failed miserably in losing weight effectively because I have failed in achieving any of those.

This is just a freaking mock up of the pointers to lose weight effectively because I'm sick and tired of my residual fats still sitting on my uber hot body. MUAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA. Rubbish. I'm just super bored.

Toodles!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Couples & Arguments

Couples, have you ever had such epic arguments with each other that makes you want to rip their faces off and then scatter salt over their rawly exposed flesh? I know I have.

My arguments with bunny usually involves raging hormones (not in the good way), his stubbornness, my stubbornness, his stupid remarks, my stupid rebuttals and the fact that we both are trying to prove we're right.

The conversation usually ends with threats of breaking up, replies of confirmations of breaking up, and slamming of phones.

Then after a minute the phone rings again (usually me calling to screw him up to continue the story). I'm a tough girl friend, I have to admit. I'm usually quite bad 2 weeks in a month, usually when I'm ovulating and when I'm on my menses. So he has to endure 2 weeks of my shit.

On most normal days I'm pretty subdued, but once it hits the 2 weeks mark, all my shitty symptoms start coming in. Mum says that PMS is only make believe and there never was PMS hocus pocus during her time (circa 1950s). OH WELL, people flew to the moon, things get discovered, women unveils another secret to bitchiness aloud by creating this PMS syndrome shit so we can all blame the hormones for fucking others up.

Ok, anyway. Right. I'm a terrible gf. I have to be honest. I just get so mad and unreasonable most of the time, I feel ashamed of it. And yes, I'm aware of my actions but I just want it that way so badly. Some say I'm spoilt. I'd like to say that I'm opinionated in what I want (another bullshit way of covering up that I'm spoilt). And to be fair, I only get blinded by anger and madness when its something to do with my family or someone I love, eg. bunny (or any other ex boyfriends for that fact).

I'm always hopping mad over the smallest things (to him) and he finds me crazy. But what he doesnt understand is that the smallest things to men always means the most to women. Right? Please correct me if I'm wrong. But we all know all the smallest things and gestures always mean more than most big gestures. Men don't get it. They're so dumb I truly now believe that their brains are filled with shit.

For me, most arguments that are epic usually involve money and jealousy (usually my fault). I know I know. I should lay back, but sometimes one thing leads to another and its just a meltdown!

After 30 minutes of verbal abuse hurled at each other, we usually go to bed, all emotionally drained from the personal attacks on each other, only to wake up hoping that we still love each other (this is what I feel, totally unsure if he wakes up thinking of me at all!) hahahaha.

But yes, eventually we would apologise to each other, not because we were wrong (we were both right in our reasonings), but because we treasured each other more than proving who was right. I guess many couples do this, but I have noticed several couples breaking up because both of them have prides. It's just a waste of what could have been when you set your ego aside and realise that you might lose someone important in your life just because you didn't want to lose in an argument.

For sure there would be even more epic arguments to come in our future. However, we both realised that the only reason why we got spanking mad at each other was because that we cared alot. And that's how the cookie crumbles.


Friday, September 3, 2010

Teachings to my Children

In lieu to the fact that I'd be having children in years to come (in God's Grace), there are some teachings that I have to instill in them. Things that I've attained, things I've failed to which was due to years of habit and that the fact that I was the product of my environment.



1) Humility. Everyone has to be humble, no matter how far you climb in life. When you're rich, or smart, or anything that everyone praises you to be of, you have to be humble. When you're poor, you have to be humble. No use being proud when you're not rich.

2) You must always give thanks to people who helped you and even though they failed to give you what you wanted, you must always thank them anyway. For they have given you their efforts and will. It does not kill to say 2 simple words of thank you.

3) No use being proud and cocky when you're beautiful. Beauty can only bring you so far in life. It is an added bonus, but it is not everything. Not everyone is superficial and would give in to your whims and fancies when you're beautiful.

4) You have to look far and look beneath the exterior of the person you're going to marry. Do not marry someone because he is handsome. But only marry him when he shows qualities of a good husband and a good father. You have to foresee in near future if he is going to play an active part in the family you'll soon create together.

5) My dear daughter, do not marry a rich man's son when he himself isn't hardworking. Remember that the wealth only lasts not more than 3 generations. And remember they are more spoilt than normal men and would have more vices than the normal men. If you're able to tolerate these personalities, by all means. But if not, a normal man (hardworking still included), is more than enough.

6) Do not force destiny and fate. If its yours its yours. If its not yours, don't force it.

7) Do not break up people's family, no matter how much you want the person, or how suitable that person is for you. You will go to hell for this. Do not get entangled with married men and then break up his/her family just to be with you. No good will come out of this.

8) My dear daughter, do not be someone's mistress. I can't stress this enough. Yes, you'll get everything that his first wife can't have, but remember, you'll always be no.2 in life, and in the society's eyes. You will be scorned and shamed. Do not do this to yourself. When judgment day comes, you'll be fucked. It's only ok for someone to be the second wife, when the first wife has divorced him (not because of you), or has passed away. But either way, it is always better to find someone who has always been single. That way he'd have less emotional baggage and shit for you to handle.

9) Do not worry. When it's time to worry, it's time to worry. This is something that I've failed in life to do. I always worry beforehand and things get messy from there. I worry about the smallest things on earth. This has been passed down from my mother, and you'll most likely get it too. But I hope from young, I'd be able to teach you to be calm and open and only start worrying when you're faced with it.You have no idea how brain cells have died when I start worrying for nothing.

10) Do no evil. Do not talk bad about anyone. Only talk of the good. For whatever bad things that come out of your mouth will come back one day and bite you in the ass. There is no benefit for you to talk bad about anyone. But a good word may save a person's life. Remember that.

11) Karma. Remember what goes round comes around. You may not get the retribution.But perhaps it'll get to your closest loved ones, and I swear it will be more painful to watch your loved ones get it, than you suffering it.

12) Be grateful. To everything and everyone. Always give thanks and remember the person who has helped you before. Do not make use of a person and ditch them when you've finished using them. That is the wrong thing to do in life, and that many people are doing it. I myself am reminding myself to always be grateful to the people who have helped me.

13) My dear daughter. Do not nag at your husband. Give him his space and give him plenty of understanding. One day your nagging will lead him to leave you and cheat on you, or worse out of anger, hit you. Keep your lips tight, and only say good things to him. Try to rephrase your words and channel your advises in a positive way. Men don't take criticisms well. I learnt it the hard way.

14) My dear son, do not hit women. No matter how angry you are. Do not hit them. You can scream and shout. But do not raise your hand.

15) Do not dabble too much in gambling, smoking, taking drugs and drinking. It will cost you your family and your life. Family is all you'll ever have.

16) Do not borrow from loan sharks. In fact, if its possible, refrain from borrowing money from anybody. No one should know that you're a broke ass. The loan sharks will kill you, or worse, your family.

17) My dear daughter, it is more important to be a good wife and mother than being a career woman. When you work too hard in life, you might turn back to find that you've missed all opportunity to see your children grow up, or to pay attention to your husband or worse, marry at all. Life is about family and children. That is how it was meant to be. Let the men bring home the bacon. You can always be his adviser. If he truly loves and respects you, he'll give you the chance to voice out your opinions in helping improve what he does.

18) Do not trust your spouse/bf/gf 100%. Always leave 10% to yourself. You will not know when they'll hurt you.

19) Paranoia ruins everything. Try to bring some sense and logic into your thinking. I am still trying to cope with this. It's an unexplainable behaviour.

20) Always be generous. There is no point being stingy. The richest person is the person who gives the most, even if you're not literally rich.

21) Don't bother holding someone's balls when he's rich. He'll know you're only doing that because he's rich and he will either take advantage of the fact that he knows you're willing to do anything so that he can be affliated with you, or he'd despise that you only want his wealth and influences and that everything you ever plan will back fire. Help those who are in need. When they are out of the woods, they will remember you for life. That is what matters the most.

22) Always respect the elders. Always be courteous, polite and helpful, even when they're assholes most of the time. Bite your tongue and refrain from pissing the elders off. Me and your father is ok. You can talk back to us, but only with reason and logic, and not out of sheer anger. You are the product of us, and if you make other people unhappy, you will shame us, that we did not bring you up well.

23) My dear daughter, for the first few months of you dating your boyfriend, NEVER enter his room alone. Always sit in the living room, where his parents can see you. I did not bring you up so hard so that other people can call you a loose wanton. Always be familiar with the family and that they are comfortable with you, and then you can enter his room alone. Remember that. The first impressions are the most important.

24) Always treat people with respect. How you treat people outside reflects who you are. You won't go far in life if you don't show respect to anyone.

25) Always remember that everyone plays a part in life. Do not look down on people just because they are holding jobs lower than you. Do not mock toilet cleaners. For without them, you'll have to bear with unhygenic toilets in which you might contract some weird disease that makes your penis drop off or that your vagina starts oozing funny stuff. Do not mock garbage collectors, without them you'd wake up to the smell of your rubbish bin, everyday for the rest of your life. You'd be living with maggots and flies. And you'll be susceptible to things like salmonella, cholera and e.coli. No one is more superior than the other. You are all equals in this life.

26) My dear daughter, please remember that even though you're smart, do not show it - excessively. Not many people can accept the fact that a woman is smarter and more dominating than a man. And my dear son, please don't be a show off, especially if you're an empty vessel. People will laugh at you behind your back and you won't go far in life.

27) Do not judge people by their looks. But by how they treat people.: with humility, respect, gentleness and kindness.

28) Control your temper and bite your tongue. What is said cannot be unsaid. You will not regret this advise.

29) My son, do not philander. Even though it runs in the family, refrain from doing it. Your cock does not need to meet so many women.

30) My dear daughter, do not give up your virginity so quickly. At least wait till you're 21. And remember to use lots of protection!

31) My dear son, do not marry a woman just because she is beautiful. When she gets older, she has to be some sort of benefit to you. Be it helping you in your business, or being a good homemaker. Do not marry a woman whose only beautiful and sucks money from you like a leech. You will not earn money that fast to let her suck. And she will suck you dry, and not in a good way. When she gets old, you'll realise that she is good for nothing and IF she doesn't bear you a child, you can dump her. Yes, your mother is that realistic.

32) Learn to save money. My grandfather once told my mother, and my mother told me, it doesn't matter how much you earn, if you can't learn how to save, you're fucked.

33) Do not be greedy. Enough is enough.

34) Refrain from killing, unless it attacks you eg. mosquitoes etc. If it's there and it does you no harm, leave it alone.

35) Do not steal. You do not need to resort to doing that. We're are not dirt poor, and even if we're poor, we have dignity.

36) At the end, the race is only with yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. You would not know what they're going through.

37) Remember you do not need many friends, only a handful is enough to get by.

38) Remember that people are ALWAYS judging you. Always put on your best front and don't give them any room to find fault in you. Always be neutral and side no one. This will save you alot of trouble.

39) Do not engage yourself in politics of any sort. It is time wasting and you won't benefit from it, unless you're the mastermind of it all and benefit from all the monopolizing. If you're just doing it for the fame and not for the good of the country and society, please. Do not associate yourself with all these fiasco.

40) Do not step on people and ruin their lives on your way up. Remember when you come down, you have to meet them again. Always rethink your steps to take in life.

41) My dear son, when you're married please refrain from all the night life activities. remember you have a wife and family at home waiting for you. Go home and be with them. Life is short. Remember that.

42) Stay away from get rich schemes/multi level marketing. In the end you'll lose more money than you earn. And you'll lose everyone close to you. They will run away from you as if you're the plague.

43) Always have compassion and empathy. Do not be cold hearted. When you're in the person's position, you'll be praying that he'd have compassion and empathy too.

44) When your father and I are old, please do not throw us in the old folks home. Remember that when you were young that we were always there for you. Please always be there for us. And when we're naggy, don't fight us, just listen and try to understand. we'll forget it in a while when we get much older. And we won't be with you forever. We never found you a nuisance when you were young, please do not find us unbearable when we're old. We gave you everything we could. We now only need your time and love. Nothing else.

Rambles of nothing

I'm seriously thinking of opening classes for lil kids who wants to learn arts and craft, piano and english.

I personally feel that it would help me with my emotional growth and over all as a human being contributing to the society.

All these 9-6 rat race of life just makes me realise that it's not worth it, its not what I want, and its not fulfilling.

It's stressful, I have to face shit, pick up other people's shit and clean them.

I've always wanted to teach, but my mother strongly disagrees against it as it's not as glamourous as being a high flying lawyer who can spit on people. Irony, she's a teacher herself.

My job isn't glamorous. I'm not upholding peace NOR justice. Instead, I'm just helping people claim money after being involved in personal accidents. Not that it isn't fulfilling, it is at some point. But when you know that you earn peanuts when your boss draws about 100k a month from your hard work, it just feels like child slavery. Plus you have to face with all these disgruntled (rightly so) people everyday with missing limbs etc.

My job pays the bills (barely), and I can't complain so far but I'm not exactly over the moon and head and heels in love with my job. Hopefully the boss will see that I'm freaking poor and can't even afford to have a car.

ANYWAY. wonder whats the market like out there for parents who wants their kids to acquire some creativity and aesthetic skills? I would love to teach english too to kids up to SPM or O Levels. I'm good enough for that. Plus, I can also teach piano la, but thats only on the side for people who aren't interested in taking exams. I can't be arsed to sit for the damn qualifying paper to teach people and register them for exams. I think having a Grade 8 in ABRSM suffices for that.

Aiya, boils down to me being a lazy ass and not wanting to see people's face when I work la (no one wants to be subject to anyone's superiority at work, but SHIT HAPPENS anyway).

However, I'm extremely diligent when it comes to making breakfast and waking up super early to cook for the one I love. I love being at home and generally tidying the house and decorating it. people who have seen my room would beg to differ. But that's different. I'm only able to extent my creativity in my small room and not to the whole house. And my room's too small to contain my shit! HAHAHAHA.

Aih. It's friday. I've totally lost all energy to work. Good thing Jessabella's post came in today, I got my dress for Ern's birthday tmr! I will be making her a buttercream fondant cake with white icing, pink ribbon and lil yellow ducks! Plus I previously had already been to Chinatown and gotten her some birthday decorations and balloons etcetc. I'm such a great aunt. Hopefully next time she grows up she'll be close to me and take care of me when I'm old! Hahahahahahaha.

I would love to have a daughter next time, then I can dress up her and teach her all the good values in life and instill in her that it's better to be more of a housewife than a career woman. It's not good to have stress in life, the side effects will eventually kill you! Hahaha.

Have to start making her little fondant ducks tonight. Wish me luck!!!!