Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

hot hot hot



WHYYYYYY!?!?!?

WHY SO UNFAIR!?

Why is England covered in SNOW while I'm burning my extra lard off in this blistering heat?!

Why do we have to live right on the equator!?

Why does Malaysia not have 4 seasons?! (Don't reply that, its rhetorical).

Why does Malaysia have such a shitty weather? (again, rhetorical)

Why is Malaysia's crime rate so high?

Why are the rich getting richer, while the poor, remaining poor as hell????

Why is Malaysia's public transport shitty?

Where has all our tax money gone?! (rhetorical!)

Why is Malaysia so HOTTTTT?

Argh.

hot hot h



Monday, January 11, 2010

Post it pussy



My friend, K.Loh inspired me to do this to all the bad drivers out there.

of course you can spot his child like writing.

it's endearing ok!!!!



note to self : Always have postit and pen in bag or in car glove compartment.

It's easier than sticking a big piece of paper with elephant glue.

heeeeeeee.



I think Yoda will be drumming this inside my head all night long till my brains bursts out of my eye sockets.

Gonzo and 69



Yes Gonzo, I believe you, I really do!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

I miss the cold in England.

I heard that snow has been coming down hard the past week or so. They didn't even snow till spring when I was there! you can imagine my fume that I am stuck at home because there was a snowstorm going on and I might just be buried under 200ft of snow.

Fcuk me, Malaysia has the worst weather on earth. Fuck.

Argh.

Sunday, January 10, 2010



Our little Belle knows how smile like an idiot now. She also knows how to flip over and follow sounds.

She is now also a big fan of the windscreen wipers.

Bless her tiny soul.

X

How to punish your BF the unconventional way

Fran was speaking to me this morning about punishing her bf 'hoho' - as we endearingly call him, cos he slapped her. But to his defense she slapped him first, so no body is rushing to the phones calling women's aid to ask them to come lock him up cos he's a wife beater.

But HOW do we punish him when our bf's tick us off? That is the ultimate question.

We aren't looking for conventional ways like... killing him, refusing sex, stop picking up his calls. BLA BLA BLA. These are all outdated oK! We must be modern like the times we're living in now!

Ok, i've brainstormed for 2 mins.

And here's how :

1) Make flyers and paste it everywhere.

Put his big face on an A4 paper and write this way - _____, giant dickhead/douchebag/asswipe/a-hole/knnbccb.

Then photo shop and dick, and paste it on his forehead. Then click print!

Staple and paste this on to anything you can get. If you're generous, spend some money to get kids to give your flyers out! :D

2) Shove a tomato or potato into his car exhaust.

You get the idea.

3) Lure him into bed.

And hand cuff him to the bed post, and leave him there for 30 hrs. That'll teach him a lesson to mess around with you.

4) Tell his mother that you're pregnant.

and then he pushed you down the stairs, so now you've just had a miscarriage. Tell her he did that because he didn't love you anymore and wanted to get rid of you.

Let's see how aunty kicks his ass.

5) Remove the batteries from the tv remote,

and glue it onto the ceiling fan blade. He tugs too hard, the whole fan comes down. If he's bright enough, he'll dismantle the blades and take it down.

OR

you can glue the tv on off buttons together so they don't move when pushed.

6) Porn stash.

Know where he keeps his FHM? ZOO? Playboy? Well glue all their sides together. Let's see how he tries to pry them open.

7) Glue all his cards together.

Driving license, atm card, creditcard, autopass, ANYTHING that he needs to use daily, glue them together. with ELEPHANT GLUE.

8) Glue his dick and balls together.

YEs i'm all about the gluing. It's cheap and effective ma! It's too bloody to cut them all off and you might go to jail big time for that.

If you're still angry after this, glue his lips together.

9) Cut off all the electrical appliances.

First cut off the tv, then the phone, the the computer and all the other mee-hoon wire cords, then the fridge (hohohohohohoho), then finally the main box switch (if thats possible).

10) Pour glue on his couch.

And on his stairs, and banisters. Toilet seats. Anything possible.

May be alot of work. but it's fun to watch the aftermath.

11) Soak his cpu in water.

Then put it back where it was and watch the fun again.

12) Buy lotsa crickets from the petshop

And set them free in his house! Pay back, and good karma for releasing life! :D It's also cheap!



Ok lah, thats all I got from 2 mins of brainstorming!

Have fun with your revenge!

New bedroom layout

Yes, so I've finally and painstakingly painted my room.

Fuck me, there were so much rubbish that I never knew that I had/needed/horded/hidden everywhere in my room. Moving it out was a mega bitch and I've never been more tired than this.

Painting wasn't that bad actually except painting the corners which I had to use a ladder to go up up up, or I had to bend down down down. Niaseng cibai, my bones now bendy, made of liquorice.

Anyway, I chose apple cut green, nabeh, my walls were yellow, so green and yellow = wad? BLUE LORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. NBCCB. so now my walls are light blue, which I am pleasantly surprised, cos it looks like pastel turqouise!!!!!!!!!!!!! My part efforts are not wasted afterall. It's quite fun painting lah.

I got carried away - I started painting my door frames,because they all kena paint, and I'm damn lazy to wipe them away!

So a 5litre can of paint couldnt be finished, I should have finished my other grills, but I really can't be arsed. I was damn tired.

I rearranged the couch and the table to get a new 'fengshui'. Of course, no one qualified has been to my room to tell me that my bed and toilet was facing the wrong way, or that my wall colours were of badluck, but i don't fucking care! as long as I'm happy waking up to my room, it's always good fengshui!

My dressing table remains as this, but is now converted to my laptop table :







I moved my couch to where my old table was, so it made a little cozy nook in the room where I can lie down or sit comfortably and go online and watch shows. The subwoofer is placed in the little corner so the sound system is amazing - I use logitech thanks to ah soon, but many may beg to differ that altec lansing is the best! But i don't give a shit ok! I bought it online for nabeh 25poounds and I'm gonna make sure i fully use it!

You can see in the pic, below the giraffe prints, theres a blanket. Thats cos i'm sitting under the aircon and I can use the blanket to snuggle when im chilly! How amazing is that! And if you're wonderng bout the painting I'm painting animal prints to put on my wall. So far I have cow, tiger, zebra, cheetah and giraffe. im tired of painting alrady ok!

I also got the floating wall brackets put in.



Felt abit sad that holes were being drilled into my old walls, but I need more space for more useless stuff ok!!!!!!




Good thing the brackets were placed high enough that I wouldnt bump my head when I wake up. Other people I'm not so sure. This is specifically designed for short people like me! KEKEKEKEKEEKEK




See, I put the table on the other wall, so I have loads of walking space. An another floating wall bracket for my other shits! Man I have too many stuffs for my own good!

Plus yesterday I bought goose feather down pillow and 280 thread count cotton JeanPerry pillow cases because I'm a grown up alreadY! (Actually my current pillows are of the same level as the bed).

Ok lor, tired already lah, no more new stuff for the whole year! I'm all set!

XXXXXXXXX

ps: sorry my bed damn messy lah. Cannot be arsed making it for the photos, because I'm not pretentious like that! :P

pps: poor ah beng. sayang you k. you have been overworked. XXXXX mucho thankies! x

Saturday, January 9, 2010

My room's new look is FANTASTIC. I am loving it.

Will post up pics soon!

SOOO HAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYY!!! xxxx

Friday, January 8, 2010

Room Painting

Painting is extremely tiring.

Especially if you have big walls, little nooks and many many corners. DAMNIT!

It's even worse if you get speckles of paint on your hair, hands, floor, door frames and anything else.

Now I look like someone off Avatar. My body is glowing with specks of light green paint. Damnit.

And I have to repaint my door frames cos i accidently had paint over them!
OH WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

Good exercise. I think my neck is breaking soon from craning my neck far from the wall. >_<.

Deserve good food and relaxation after this.



THen I have to crack my head on moving my billion things back into the room

Fuck.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

How to know if he's the one?

Inspired by my question posted on facebook (refer to post below), I decided to Google my answers (because you know, life's answers are ALWAYS found on Google, and mostly wiki).

Anyway, like the smart ass I am, referring to someone else's notions of how to know if he is the right man for you, here is what I've gathered from my fruitful research :

* He Listens to You. Before your man opens his heart to you, he has to first open his ears. "Genuine concern manifests itself in listening to the cares, concerns and issues of your woman," says Anthony Woodson, president and CEO of BlackLoveForever.com, a matchmaking service that has resulted in nearly 500 marriages. "A man who wants to be around you for the long-term will be a good listener when you need him. He will be a dependable source of guidance and support and will not turn a deaf ear simply because the problem is too big. If he doesn't know the solution, he will try his best to find one."

* There is a Natural Ease and Flow. Relationship experts say there is a natural chemistry that defines your interaction when you meet your perfect fit. "You don't have to push it, force it, tug it, pull it or cut the edges to make it fit," says Debrena Jackson Gandy, international speaker and author of All the Joy You Can Stand. "There is an undeniable ease and flow to the relationship. You can see it and others around you can as well."

* You Don't Have to Compromise Who You Are. A person who you have to change for isn't the person for you. "You should maintain and enjoy a continued, if not healthier, sense of self when you are with your partner," says Tandra McMurray, a 30-something Chicago single who has had her share of "Mr. Wrongs." "He should make you feel good about being you, while always encouraging you to be better. If a man doesn't feel good about himself, it will be hard for him to make you feel good about being you."

* You Trust Him. When you trust your partner, you open your relationship up to a world of possibilities. Without trust, the relationship can't grow and is likely to be doomed. "To trust a man is to believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for his partner," says Jel D. Lewis, relationship expert and columnist. "The secret to growing in trust is not to expect your man to be perfect." Maintaining realistic expectations is key to understanding your role and his.

* He Enriches Your Life. Being in love should have productive benefits for enhancing your quality of life. "Your Mr. Right should stretch your imagination and stimulate your desires," says Dr. Grace Cornish, spiritual psychologist and author of You Deserve Healthy Love Sis'. "He should, at all times and through all things, look out for your best interests. He should never compete with you because he knows what is good for you is good for him. A good man encourages and supports you professionally, personally and spiritually."

* He Pampers You. Not to be confused with spoiling, pampering is a celebration of womanhood, rather than pure indulgence of self. "Through his words and his actions, he shows you that you are different from any other woman in his life," says Woodson, whose matchmaking service, Black Love Forever, has more than 1,500 members. "He demonstrates, on a daily basis, that you are his queen. He caters to you. He cares for you. Whether he shampoos your hair, prepares your meal or massages your feet, he is demonstrating his affection and the privilege that it is to be in your life."

* Both of You Share Common Ground. Despite your religious background or affiliation, having a common and unified direction spiritually, socially, financially and economically creates cohesiveness. If you cannot agree on fundamental values, it is unlikely that you will go very far (and if so, not for long). It's not enough to simply be together. You must be willing and able to grow together.

* You Become a Part of His World. When you meet a man's parents, his children, his co-workers and his closest friends, you are getting a true glimpse of who he is, not just who he is when he is around you. A man who is serious about making you his partner will not only want you to be a part of his world, he'll create avenues of openness so that you can enjoy his world, his people and his interests.

* He Sacrifices For You. The right man will consider sacrificing for you an honor, not a burden. "When he is willing to give you what belongs to him, even before you ask for it, you know that he is serious about you," says Woodson. "It's not considered a 'sacrifice' when it's done with a good heart; it's an investment in the future of two people. Whether it's time, money or energy, a man will give what he has to the woman he wants."

*He understands.He always tries to see your side of things. This means that even if he's seen you get upset or cry about something a hundred times before, he still tries to calm you down and makes you feel better.

*He's happy around you. Smiles? Laughter? Excited to spend time with you and not his guy friends? Glad just to be with you? If he can't get enough of you, it's a sure sign that he's really attracted and in love.

*He takes care of you. Is he your own personal guardian angel? Does he baby you when you're sick and nurse you back to health? If the answer is 'yes', then it's a pretty sure bet you've got a good thing going.

*He asks for your opinion. He asks for your advice, considers it and may put it to good use. When important decisions are at stake concerning him, he doesn't just go ahead and decide on his own what he thinks is right.

*He's interested in what you want too. Let's say you're both watching television and you want to watch Desperate Housewives while he'd like to catch 24. You know how men are when it comes to the remote control! If he lets you watch your show of choice, not in a grudging manner, but because he wants you to be happy, you've got a winner. Give him extra points if he actually sits through it with you!

*He never judges you. You can pour out your heart to him, your greatest fears, biggest worries, and he is there patiently listening and never judging or telling you what you should do. He is always there to support you. However if he does not agree with your views, he would not condemn you, but try to understand why you feel that way about something.

I think these are the best, non-superficial, non-silly ones that I've read on the internet!


After having read through most of the information online, I just realised that my past relationship had alot of redflags that I blatantly ignored and hopefully he'll change. But you know, they'll never change. I wish I was smart and strong enough to out the relationship when I first discovered the red flags. Then I wouldn't have been the me now. I might be happier. But I wouldnt know, would I?

So tell me, what is it that you see in your other half that makes him 'the one'?

Godly Encounter

I posted a question on FB asking if anyone would ever know that someone is 'the one'. The cream to your cake, the french to your fry, your other half, your ying, your yang, the air to your lungs, you get the general idea.



So I pandai pandai/kei kiang said that God didn't reply his mails ( after some mental anguish, passing out of the chair, wet tissues).

So when I arrived at work today, I checked my facebook for God's Daily Message (because I'm a believer like that - you need a specific message from God to know what path you're taking on the particular day) - and VOILA! He's message popped up right in my face in the manner like he was telling me 'i-told-u-i'd-reply-your-mails-sooner-or-later'. God has never been this efficient.



Sometimes we get so mad at God because he doesn't answer our prayers. I guess God found a way to relay his messages to me, because I'm 24/7 stuck to the computer.

Good one, God. Thank you.



Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Year Resolutions

This year is a brand new spanking year. Of course there'll always be resolutions that'll will never come true, but you know, for laughs, I'll tell you them!

  • Lose 10kgs. (of course! my main thing is to lose weight, but you know, that'll never happen)
  • Stop eating fried chicken. (hah, you know that'll never happen either)
  • Be reasonable to the boy. (thats a really tough one.)
  • Cut down the shopping by half. (I'd rather die)
  • Be courteous on the road/less road rage (thats slightly doable)
  • Have more patience and faith.
  • Stop buying shoes. (WTF!)
  • Get married (it'll never happen.......this year)
  • Tidy my room....completely (HAHAHAHAHAHA!)
  • Save more money (it's gonna be tough)
  • bathe my dogs weekly.
  • Stop watching Friends.
  • stop kicking my dogs.
  • waking up early in the morning so the day's not wasted (pfffffffffffffft. sleep is great!)
  • Stop being such a critic. (but thats my job!)
  • Be employee of the year (you know I always am!)
  • Pamper myself and go for more pedicures (but its so geli!)
  • Camwhore less (it's like asking me to eat less fried chicken!)
  • Eat more fish (I hate that fishy smell :(
  • Be less friendly.
  • Recycle!
  • Do more masks.
  • Be less jealous.
  • Stop wrenching acrylic nails off my real ones.
  • Try to exercise more (HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA)
  • Sleep at 10pm, because I need 10hrs sleep.
  • Bitch less about people.
  • Have a less firey temper.
  • Be contented with what I have (this is v important)
  • visit grandparents more.
  • Use my mobilephone less.
  • stay off facebook as much as possible.
  • Take time out to paint.
  • Be more interested in politics and economy (snoreeeeeeeeeeeee)

Wah so many things more to add, but I just can't remember them all in this moment! :)

What are you resolutions that you'll never intend to keep?

Friday, January 1, 2010

Ode to Love

" happy birthday baby...." I muttered as I leaned in and planted a soft kiss on your lips. The soft peck soon turned into an emotional whirlwind love, passion and happiness.

Tender yet manly, your kisses made my knees weak. It made my mind fuzzy and it made me yearn for more. I could not understand this chemistry that was unfolding before me. It felt safe, stable and constant. Nothing was ever going to go wrong in that moment of time. You are my safe ground, my cushioned landing strip, my happy-land.

The kisses were surreal. I have dreamt of kisses like this before, but it was even better than in my dreams. I gently touched your face with my hands as we continued in our most passionate moment. I could feel the world slowly slipping away.

"I love you", I said, looking longingly. I could not mean it more than now. I love you more everyday, even though at times I wish to wring your neck till your eyes pop out of its sockets.

You said you love me too. I knew you mean it. I know that you love me more than anything in this world. If you could pluck down the stars without breaking your back, you'd do it.

We continued kissing, lost in this rare precious moment in the quietness of the cold, rainy night.

And when we stopped, I found tears hanging at the corners of my eyes.

It must be true love, finally.

Chan rak ter, baby. Happy birthday.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2009 Review

How quick time flies, it's already end of 2009. So many things done, so many tears shed, so much money spent, so many places been to.. the list goes on.

Lets have a review on what I've done this year :

  • been to melbourne.
  • been to hongkong and macau.
  • have 2 new puppies in the family
  • became an aunt for the first time.
  • renounced my title as an aunt for the first time too - the kid is monstrous!
  • realised that my job is a nightmare.
  • reloved the colour pink
  • nearly had a heart attack when my ipod died.
  • had many breakdowns every now and then
  • finally let go.
  • opened my own blogshop and started earning some side money.
  • cooked the entire christmas meal.
  • finally celebrated Fran's birthday for the first time ever since i knew her.
  • stopped being friends with a particular someone.
  • wind down the window and told a dick to fuck off the roads and drive properly.
  • stopped having any expectations in people. they just hurt you.
  • realised that I'm actually all alone.
  • lost most of my memory.
  • I
  • can't
  • remember
  • anything
  • more
  • that
  • happened
  • this
  • year
  • fuck
  • i
  • must
  • be
  • getting
  • old
  • my
  • memory
  • is
  • waning
  • fuck
  • fuck
  • fuck
  • fuck
  • fuck
Fuck it's true. I can't remember anything that I've done after a couple of months. Or have I not done anything fantabulous this year? Fuck I can't remember.

Oh fuck it.

Happy New Year!!!!!!! :)

love love xxx


Monday, December 28, 2009

DIY wallpaper

ok... so I'm bored of my life.....and also my walls.. I have decided on a DIY room make over with wrapping papers and adhesive spray! I know it's probably gonna be a flop, but who'll ever know if you never try!

I bought 4 wrapping papers cos it's less than a dollar each so people can have a look and help me decide which one is the best one pls kthxbai. if it all doesnt work out they'll become gift wraps!

was thinking of having one feature wall. What do you think?




No.1

this is a dulled vibrant flower wrapping paper with rain-glass -stained effect going on. Tot it was quite pretty!




No. 2

This is a bold hibiscus pattern. very bright and cheerful!




No.3

the camera phone does not do this any justice. the colours are much nicer and more pastel. perhaps this can go on all my walls. I dono.





No.4

stupid camera. totally ruining the colour effect of this one. It is actually very pretty yellow!



SO HELP ME PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE

kthxbai

Sunday, December 27, 2009

How to live happily with your mother-in-law

I've seen lots of daughters in law who can't get along with their mother in laws and I can't blame either parties.

Mother in laws can be mean, and you, daughter in laws arent much better. It's like you've graduated from the University of Bitchyness! No wonder you guys can't get along! No one is perfect so stop victimising yourself and making everyone pity you!

Here are some surefire steps to ensure that you'll live happily ever after with your mother in law!


1) You can choose to move out.

That is if you and your husband can afford it. Real property prices are shooting up drastically and you and him already have the bank loans for the car. Are you sure you can afford to move out? If you can, by all means. And by all means means you'd have to eat sand dirt and grass for the next 35 yrs and have 3kids made out of cardboxes if you stubbornly decide to move out when you are already in debt!


2) Stop being so bitchy and demanding and listen to your mother in law.

She asks you to eat dirt, you eat dirt. There is no such thing as human rights when you're living with your mother in law. She is the law and the government. And opposition parties usually get murdered off. So, better be smart.

And you're probably spoilt when you were living with YOUR PARENTS, but things have changed now. You're no longer living in your own home have you? You've moved into new territory so tread carefully cos there are hidden landmines out there.

You can't have your way. Its bad enough that you have to take your own rice at home, but now, you have to clear up for others and also the whole table!

Do you know what wedding dowry means? That means, buying you off your parents so you can work for the in laws for ETERNITY.


3) Stop fucking around.

With the TV, in your room, with the father in law, your brother in law. Just stop fucking around when you're married. You now belong solely to your mother in law and your husband is only a puppet in this evil game.

Stop messing about. Stop hiding in your room when its dinner time. You should be around helping or at least preparing it.

Wash your own clothes, your own underwear. Wash the whole house. No one is your slave in this new house. Take the initiative to wash other people's clothes too, but pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee don't ruin them.


4) Stop bootlicking the father in law or just innocently flirting with him thinking you'll get a better life there.

That'll make you the ultimate slut. You want your husband and you want your life to be easier. Well guess what? You're wrong. You're totally barking up the wrong tree and even worse, make an old man lust after you. Snatching your mother in laws husband is what the whole neighbourhood will think of you when words get out. Always have minimal talk with the male counterparts of the family lest they think you're hitting on them.

Your mother in law is head of the household. If she owns the kitchen, she owns the whole house.


5) Be nice to your sister in law.

She is your gateway to slightly less torturous life in hell. It's about time you bribe her with everything you can. But make sure not to blackmail her. She is more evil than you think and she will most definitely wipe you out if she finds you a threat to her. Do not make your mother in law love you more than her. Because, like her mother the Empress Dowager, she will snipe you in your sleep.


6) Be nice - start early.

When you're dating there a few simple rules to remember :

- NEVER enter your bf's room alone with him when you're dating for the first few months. Always be in the living hall where your future mother in law will have good view of you and that you're a decent girl (which you obviously arent!) hahahahaha. mother in laws will have that bad impression that you're a whore when you go to their sons room the first few times you go round their place. They don't say it, but TRUST ME, they feel it, and tell their daughters too. So stay in the halll and make small chit chat.

- ALWAYS buy gifts when you go to your in law's house. Unless hes stopping for a pee or a change of clothes, there's always a need to get stuff such as fruits, wine, cookies for your mother in law. Goes to show you have manners and your mother has brought you up well.

- NEVER wear skimpily to your bf's house, or anything that screams WHORE!

- ALWAYS praise her cooking, house decoration, son and anything you can find. But don't over do it. Tastefully is the key word here. Women love being praised and its like an energy they feed off it.


7) Always agree with your mother in law - especially in front of people.

She is Empress Dowager. She will send snipes to kill you when you're asleep should you go against her, especially in public. Be afraid. Be very afraid.


8) Always greet her happily and loudly.

It's only common sense that Mother in laws like to see smiles when people are calling them. And they don't like being called 'ma' or 'mother' softly or having those words mumbled.

9) Serve your Husband like a King.

Not your father in law, Your husband. Your father in law is your mother in law's responsiblity. not yours. That's why she married him and not you. Do not make your husband YOUR SLAVE in front of his mother, no matter how much your husband loves you and wants to do everything for you. It will be disrespect for him and his mum. And she will kill you in your sleep knowing that her precious son is being treated like a slave when you ARE their family's slave to start off.


10) Learn to cook.

Your mother in law cant be cooking forever, and your new family can't be eating instant noodles and takeaways for ever. It's time to learn the family's tastebuds and take over the cooking role (gracefully, not by force). If your mother in law still wants to cook, help her in the kitchen. Never try to pry her away from her wok because inshahallah, she will clobber you to death with her 100yr old wok. If your cooking is bad, it is ok. But it is not ok, everyday for 6 months. You got to improve drastically everyday because every second is a ticking bomb in your new household.

11) Wake up early.

Every mother in law wants her daughter in law to be an asset, not a liability. So you can't sleep in anymore after you've married into the new family. You got to be up by 8am scrubbing the porch floors and making everyone breakfast. It's unfair I know when the sister in law sleeps till 2pm but thats life, and when she marries, and inshahallah into a simpler less tryannic family, she'll will get her fair share of living with the in laws.

12) Follow the Empress Dowager to the market.

Because you're her new slave and you should help out in the family.

13) No more staying out late.

You are someone's wife now. So no more partying with friends lest you want a bad impression on your mother in law that you're not ready to settle down and having grandkids.

14) Do not starve your kids.

These are for women who have kids and are living (or visiting) their mother in laws. No grandparents want to see skinny kids. NO ONE. So start feeding your kids lard so they look like mini-michellin men! Do this until your in laws pass away then you can start majoring dieting them into your desired shape and size.

15) Bite your tongue.

No matter how much you want to scream at your mother in law and tell her that shes a fucking old hag, zip it. Once its out you better prepare to move out - back to your mother's house.

So unless you're lucky enough to move out (which you HAVE to spare a room for your in laws incase they come to visit), then I'm sorry you're pretty much stuck with them!


Hope you find these pointers useful! and Good luck! HAHAHA


How to stop office gossip

This is how to stop office gossip (unless that person is your boss):

Works 100% of the time!



Good luck!

Antony and the Johnsons

When I was in England I got introduced to this band, Antony and the Johnsons.

He's voice is beautiful. He is androgynous, ie, transgender. But still beautiful. And the lyrics of this song is even more beautiful.

I fell in love with a dead boy



I find you with red tears in your eyes
I ask you what is your name
You offer no reply
Should I call a doctor
Before I fear you might be dead
But I just lay down beside you
And held your hand

I fell in love with you
Now you're my one, only one
'Cause all my life I've been so blue
But in that moment you fulfilled me

Now I'll tell all my friends
I fell in love with a dead boy
Now I'll tell my family
I wish you could have met him

Now I write letters to Australia
Now I throw bottles out to sea
I whisper the secret in the ground
No one's gonna take you away from me

I fell in love with a dead boy
Oh, such a beautiful boy
I fell in love with a dead boy
Oh, such a beautiful boy


An amazing song that deserves a standing ovation. The MV was of him singing in real person. You should check out the whole song. Really tugs at the heart strings.


Tsubame Hydrating Mask

I was given a few samples of Tsubame's hydrating birds nest mask to try on. And before you read on I have to warn you that my skin is always in an atrocious state. My skin tone is uneven and red. Red because my skin is so dry and it sorta 'cracks' [that's how the facial parlour tells me]. My skin is internally oily and extremely dry on the outside. It's fucked up I know but there's nothing I can do about it (now).

I've tried several kinds of hydrating masks and it always turns out a sham and I've really pretty much given up hope on masks (except my beauty diary, thats still good in my books).

So with a little skeptism and optimism, let's give Tsubame's mask a try shall we?





I was told that they'd redo the packaging soon so that the whole thing be red and the floral designs would be silver! or soemthing like that!




See my skin? So red and blotchy. Feel so sad for it. But, what to do? I go for facials and its still like that. Goes to show that my money has been washed down the drains. These facial place are always trying to con your money!

AND NO, I'M NOT NAKED. I WAS WRAPPED IN A TOWEL.

No photoshop is done here. My skin is as it is.



So I took out the mask and put it on. The hydrating liquid has texture and is thick. It's not watery like those cheap ones. It's more of a watery gel kind. smells good, not that nose prickling smell.

So when I put it on, it doesn't feel asif its prickling my skin. That's when you know there's alcohol present, which is even worse for the skin. So, this goes to show that that theres no alcohol, or minimal usage of it, so its gentle for the skin!

After 10mins, or when your skin starts to itch, thats your cue to take it off cos your skins giving you a sign its had enough.

this is how it looks after I took it off :



cant see the difference?

heres a side to side!




You can see the redness slightly gone (which shows that your skin is at least slightly hydrated), which goes to show that ------

IT WORKS!!!! AND ITS NOT A SHAM OR A FAKE MASK!!!

Can support this brand, cos it will soon be rivalling My beauty diary!