Right, so me and my cousin Tammy were discussing about our wedding/engagement rings and so we came up to the conclusion that I kinda leaned towards the big and elaborate and oh-my-what-time-is-it-now?/oh-it's-so-hot-this-stupid-weather kinda ring!
Pics credit to serendipity diamonds
So, if you're going to propose anytime soon (now till max 5 years), please be prepared with a ring like this. You don't have to get such a big diamond persay. But its got to be elaborate with many little diamonds. HAHAHAHA. or expect a spit in the face/big fat no/both.
:)
Saturday, November 7, 2009
I'm so ill today.
Dad got the stomach flu, then mum got it, then i got it.
Then i got nose flu too. then i conked out after my malay tuition and woke up with swollen eyes. GREAT. now I can't attend my friends birthday. fark.
realised that my immune system goes crazy when i'm stressed. Oh well.
gots to rest now. Sigh.
Oh btw, bought shit loads of beads and such from Singapore d other day. Am really excited about it. just looking at it makes me happpppppppppppppppppppy! ::)
Big bold statement pieces that can be worn anytime anywhere so you will stand out amongst the crowd.
Very fashionable, mega cute!
This obviously isn't me. I'm not that pretty!
Anyways, why is a bib necklace named that way? Well duh, it's as big and as wide as a baby's bib!!!! HAHAHa
Same goes to feather fascinators, cos its made of feathers, and it never fails to fascinate people and make them wonder why ANYONE would put feathers on their own head!
I laid there, curled into a ball together with the duvet. You sat at the corner, looking lost. I was crying. You were sighing.
You came over, gave me a hug, and carassed me all over. I pushed you away with repulse.
You sighed again, and moved slowly away.
I kept crying.
You put on your clothes, and washed your face and sat back on the bed.
I kept ignoring you.
I could see you moving at the corner of my eye. I peered into the mirror in front of me to spy on you.
You took my eyelash curler and fiddled with it. Then to my horror, you took off your glasses and tried to curl your eyelash.
I let out a little chuckle despite my great boiling anger. Perhaps you didn't hear me laugh. I remained under the duvet like a bug, unmoved.
Slowly, you tried to experiment with the eyelash curler. Finally you decided that it was time your virgin eyelash met its fate.
You put the curler against your lids and crimped it. You winced as you accidently caught your skin between the curler instead of your lash.
This time I chuckled slightly louder because it was great looking at you in pain. I didn't think you'd risk anything doing with your eye because you were even afraid of a finger near it, let alone an eyelash curler.
Maybe you heard me laugh, maybe you didn't. But you continued trying to curl your lashes.
Then suddenly, you poked yourself with it. I wasn't sure if it was by accident, or on purpose.
You covered your eye with your palms and bent forward and started crying out in pain.
I, of course, leaped to you side to make sure you were ok, having disregards to my anger and discontent.
It took me a minute to pry open your hands between your sobs, only to find that you were snickering to know I still cared.
My mum sat on my bed and finally decided that I should go to a slimming centre to get skinny then I will finally be able to marry a rich guy.
That's a whole load of bollocks I hear. It has violated several of my own principles. I shook my head so furiously i swear I look like a bobble head figurine in your car.
Here is why :
1) Why should I lose weight to find someone rich who'll ONLY want me when I'm slim?
That said, i'm not ridiculously obese. I'm just, chubby (hah, i'm so kind to myself). Ok. So. You know lah, these malaysian rich guys, only want model-isque ladies. Where am I going to fit into their high flyer life when I'm been this tub of lard all my life? Right? And their tendencies of switching girls when they get bored is like how they're used with tissues.
Then mum goes and say I have to maintain and keep him happy.
Wtf right. Why the hell should I suffer and be freaking miserable just to please a man who wants me small? I know there are loads of girls who are naturally small, and I'm just not one of them.
Its just ridiculous to hear yourself say, ya, I wanna get skinny so rich men would want me. Then I will work extra hard, stop eating for d rest of my life and be a porn star in bed. That'll do the trick. Well you can bloody hell fuck off. That's what I told her (in a nicer way). I am materialistic, but I am NOT that materialistic. I just need a decent home, and him being able to feed the family comfortably. I do not care for cut throat brands, nor fancy cars (although that would be a bonus at a later stage in life). Saying that, I'm not those girls who know that they have they goodies, so they have the bargaining power. But beneath all that, its seriously, only looks and physical needs. That's what its all about. After its gone (by will or by force), you better have a plan B. If not, you're seriously fucked.
2) Chances of rich men being dicks are like rats being infested with viruses.
Well, you can't deny this fact. Right? And I know there are good guys, but they are taken, so what you want me to do? Snatch away is it? Please lor, I don't want to grow old knowing the fact that I stole him from someone else who'se prolly died of heartache or planning on my impending death via revenge. Thats just seriously too much work.
3) I already have someone who loves me the way I am.
Yeah, and she doesnt know that, and probably won't know it till I'm older and the time I'm finally gonna get married. BEcause she ruins everything. My mum despises people who are poor, and my boy isn't exactly poor, but is far from her standards. However, he has ticked most of my boxes and hey, you can't be perfect, I'm obviously not. He loved me when I was fatter and now I've lost some weight, the feeling never changed (I hope). So why should I leave this person who never judged me for someone who'll wince at my stretch marks?
The calculation just doesnt add up.
4) I am happy the way I am.
As funny as it sounds, I'm fat, but I like it. I don't know why. It's a weird thing about me loving myself and my mum's theory that I'm lack of determination and no self esteem and bla bla bla.
5) I personally think she's pushing me so hard for her own face.
Yes, she's a status driven woman. She cannot lose face in front of people. Hence I suffer. You get the idea. What she's not got in this life (wealth, status, bmws) she's gonna make sure I get it hook by crook. But what if its not destined to be (you'd guess by now I truly believe in fate and destiny)? oh well.
6) Wasting so much money when you know it doesn't work.
It prolly would work for like some time and it'll all bounce back. I'm sure everyones heard of the horror stories of fats bouncing back. So mums simple theory was stop eating for the rest of my life. I was like. Fuck it. You don't eat and see? Nabeh cibai. Dulan seh. And I'm not shy in telling how cibaidulan I am, together with all the literal words.
And you know I'm never gonna pay for that. She's going to. And when I get fat (which of course I will eventually) shes gonna say I've wasted her money when she could use it to fund her medical bills which WE all (her kids) can't do so evidently, bla bla bla and a whole load of crap.
This is the kind of problems that is fueling my impending depression. The incessant need to horde everyones life and business and to stick her damn finger in it. She is unhappy with the way we are and are constantly trying to change us into the cream of the crop (which I would naturally understand why as a mother). She said I would understand her one day, to which that one day I hopefully would. If not, tough luck mum.
I have no interest in politics, or the price of petrol, the length of your armpit hair or how we should stop farting to save the planet. I have interests, HOWEVER, in fried chicken, jewellery, dresses, furry animals, Voodoo and guys with bellies. I am utterly insane and random. I am often lost in my usual banters and rants. Please bear with me, while I unleash the beasts within me. The world has to know how bereft I feel. Muchos Gracias.
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