If I were a boy

IF I WERE A BOY
beyonce

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think
that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong


But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFt.

Let's be a boy for a day, shall we?

0700 : alarm rings, time to get up, presses snooze button.
0710 : alarm rings again, annoyed, presses snooze button again, scratches bum.
0720 : alarm rings again, snooze.
.
.
.
.
0750 : shit! Work in less than an hour! *jumps up*
0752 : go toilet, really need to pee. trying to peel open eyes, aiming is compromised, pees out of the bowl and onto the floor, scratches bum while doing it.
*brushes teeth*
0754 : Man, I need a fag. *takes a smoke* *sits on toilet and poop at the same time*
0813 : what shall I wear? *picks up last nights shirt and smells* hmmmmmm. still not sour. let's wear this (again) today!
*yesterday's underwear looks good too!*
*smells fine as well*
0815 : turns on tv
0816 : oooooooooooomg, hot weather girl. I really need to touch myself.
*wanks*
*wanks*
*wanks*
0818 : ahhhhhhh. that feels much better.*continues to put pants on*
0820 : hmmmm. what shall I eat? oooooooooooooh, last nights kebabs look good for breakfast. *scratch balls* *smells fingers*
0823 : *burps* (spots a beer can at the foot of the couch) OOOOH! BEER! *drinks* God, how long has that thing been there? *flinches*
0825 : now where's my other shoe?
0827 : shit I need socks! *here sockies sockies*
0830 : finds the other side of the shoe under the couch, wearing mismatched socks with holes at the soles and toes.
0835 : *locks door, gets into car*
0835 : SHIT I NEED TO CRAP AGAIN. *rushes into house*
0838 : ahhhhhhh, that's much better. *drives off to work*
0840 : smokes a fag, while singing-along to Destiny's Childs' - "I'm a survivor" in a really girly voice. *does a little jiggle* My god, beyonce is hot. I want to bone her. *gets a hardie* *touches self a little*
0842 : sees a road kill, hardie dies.
0849 : *scratches balls* *sniffs fingers*
0852 : *burps*
0901 : *steps out of car* *pulls up the zipper* *locks car* *runs to work*
0905 : *steps into elevator with 2 hot chicks* My my, I wonder what would happen if the power gets cut, and we were here for a long time? And these girls have really big tits and worship me as king of this earth? *hardie comes back* *dying to dry hump the girls on a parallel universe*
0906 : Level 6, hot chick leaves. Old cleaning lady comes in. *hardie dies* godamnit! Why cant she be a hot chick cleaner wearing nothing but gloves and an apron? *thinks about it, hardie comes on again* old lady smiles *hardie dies*.
0909 : Level 23, time for work. *scratches bum as alighting the elevator*
0910 : *steps into own little office* Argh, so much work to do.Screw it, let's surf for porn first.
0911 : gets computer running. digs nose. flicks booger away.
0914 : Hmmm. What shall I watch? Lesbian sleep overs? 3 girls one guy? Cheerleaders? Hmmmm. Ahhhhhhh, lets watch Krystal gets Analised. *hardie jumps up with joy* *unzips pants* *touch* *touch *touch*
0916 : where are the tissues when I need them? ARGH screw it. *uses the first piece of paper he can grab* *wipes mess*
0917 : FARK!!!!!!!!! That was my statistic documentation!!
0918 : *sweats a little* uses end of sleeve to wipe the mess off the statistic documentation* Good thing I'm wearing white today. No one can spot the difference on my shirt.
0920 : Argh, work. *starts working*
.
.
.
0936 : *squeezes butt cheek, revealing an escaping fart* *smells fart* EWWWW! *cringes nose*
.
.
0957 : *potentially hot geeky clerk with enormously huge boobies walks in with files and leaves* Man, what if she accidently dropped the files (and clothes) in front of me and had to pick it up? *hardie is revived again* *touch touch* Fark, I have to finish these files.*hardie dies*
.
.
1028 : time for fag-break. *walks through office full of young clerks. sighs. * I wish I was king of this world. Then these chicks have to come to work naked. And serve me. *hardie gets a little excited* *old cleaning lady walks by* *hardie goes into retreat*
1030 : *gets into lift alone* *scratches crotch* *smells*
1031 : *scratches bum* *pulls out wedgie*
1033 : sees Tom, Dick and Harry at the smoking area. Offers them a fag.
1036 : *fag session ends*
1038 : *gets into lift with really hot MILF boss* *makes small talk* *imagines the MILF without any clothes, and kneeling* *hardie screams a little* *MILF reached her floor, touches shoulder to say goodbye* *almost made a mess in the pants*
1039 : *walks back into office and imagining boning the MILF at the same time* *scratches bum*
. *work*
. *work*
1145 : Ahhhh, time for a much needed break. *goes on facebook* *goes through Friends' lists of friends* *looks for hot girls to add*
.
.
.
.
.
1229 : Man, these girls are making me hot *goes on redtube* *chooses high school girl porn*
*touch* *touch* *touch*
1232 : SHIT I FORGOT I DIDNT HAVE TISSUES! Oh well. *wipes with shirt sleeve*
1233 : *makes some calls to clients*
*yak*
*yak*
*yak* *scratches balls*
1258 : oooooooooooooooooooh lunch time! *meets boys for lunch*
1310 : *chomps on nasi goreng pattaya and drinks syrup limau ice*
1313 : *burps* *laughs with boys*
*yak*
*yak*
1326 : *smokes*
*yak*
*yak*
1347 : *sees hot girl walks by* *wants to shag her on the lunch table* *gets a hardie*
1348 : Makcik collecting the money walks by *hardie dies*
1402 : *back in office*
*work*
*work*
1428 : Man, I'm sleepy. *crawls underneath desk for some shut eye*
.
.
.
1542 : THAT WAS A GREAT POWER NAP!
*work*
*work*
1608 : *phone rings*
"Hi mum.
Yes.
Yes, I have eaten it.
Yes mum, really.
Damnit mum! I'm 34! I can remember to eat my multivitamins!
Sorry! I didn't mean to scream at you. Its just that I had alot of work to rush today mum, I barely had time to go to the toilet!
Ok, I will wash my clothes later.
Yes, I have enough underwear mum.
No, I don't need you to come wash my underwear for me mum.
Ok, I have to get back to work now.
ok, love you.
ok, love you mum.
ok, bye.
bye.
bye..
PUT DOWN THE PHONE MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!"
1614 : Argh, the stress, *scratches balls*
*work*
*work*
*farts*
*sniffs*
*scratch balls*
*sniffs*
*work*
*work*
1657 : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I can finally go home.
1702 : *gets on lift with young hot clerks* *takes in deep breath and smell their womenly hot chick smells* *gets a hardie* wish they were all naked :(
1705 : *door opens* *sees old cleaning lady again* *hardie goes back into hibernation*
1714 : *driving back* *screaming along to R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha Franklin*
*farts*
*unwinds car window*
*fags*
1723 : *stuck in a jam* (!@$)($#@!!@#*!!!!!!
1804 : *reaches home* *gets naked at door* goes to fridge, takes out beer* *sits in front of couch and watches Sex and the City*

Beyonce's song, although really amazing,
does not paint the picture enough if she really were a boy! :)


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