2009

Today marks the 2nd day of 2009, and I am reminded yet again that certain things in life are not meant to be and that I have to come to terms with it.

1) Having really long hair past the midsection of your back.

Its amazing that my hair has never grown past the bra strap mark despite it looking really long from the back. I usually have to end up trimming them off because they've gotten split ends or I've dyed it to the extend beyond repair. Plus I don't comb my hair much and it usually looks like shit from the back.


This reminds me of The Ring.

Ok, perhaps is too extreme. But I would LOVE to have amazing bed hair locks. But its past 23 years and I have yet to grow my hair past a longer length than I have now.

2) Becoming a T-Rex.

It is my secret lifelong dream that I can become a T-Rex and just gobble up arseholes and cunts (not in the perverse way, but the really really angry way. I am in no way, a lesbo. Bi? Maybe).

I'm a T-Rex, hear me roar!

Even though I have short hands, really small brands and gigantic thighs (it is true in both sense), I always think it'd be so cool to chase after people and have everyone live in fear of you. You are absolutely indestructible. You are KING of the jungle.

you are also the ancestor of the CHICKEN -_-'''''

3) Being a fantastic photographer.

Unfortunately, my dad's amazing photographic genes have not been passed on to me. The only acceptable photos I've ever taken are my cam-whore photos which shows a person amazingly beautiful, but yet, still me. I'm pretty amazing at taking facial shots (not the perverse way, damn you!) and am great at the angling and such.


Other photographs that I've ever taken are just negligible. At least I'm honest enough to say that! So, unless you want a great picture of your face (next to my amazingly cute face *ehem*), don't ask me to be your camera man!

4) Be an underwear model.

Because a) I'm not skinny,
b) I have no ass,
c) I have no body shape,
d) I'm not skinny.


Yes, I may have amazing boobies but I definitely do not have enough to fit the criteria of becoming an underwear model. Do you know how perfect you have to be in order to become one????????? They are like, les unattainables.

5) Being able to understand what dogs are trying to say.

They may bark at you, but do you really know what they're trying to tell you?

I guess not.



Unless it's feeding time, or they haven pooped the whole day. Then you get the idea when they start barking. If not, its hard to figure if they're trying to tell you if there's a spider crawling down your neck, or that there's blood coming out of your ears.

6) Be a mattress tester.

Would it be amazing to just jump on beds all day long and go sleep on it after you're tired?

Geez.

But it's not going to happen is it? The world is truly unfair. My ultimate favourite thing to do.

Yes, you guessed it right, SLEEP.

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