Your mistress

My dearest Prada purse,

You are oh-so-expensive, and you knows that. But why can't you just auto-refill yourself with money? Why do you leave me shocked everytime I open you up, only to find 3 1-dollar bills and alot of receipts?

I really don't understand.

I know you were previously bought by someone to serve me, but why have you failed me now to replenish yourself with dollar bills?

Please do something about it soon. Or I will have dust bunnies served cold on a piece of paper plate for lunch.

Your mistress,
Joanna

xxxxxx