Let me start off with my bad traits.
- I am easily jealous : Not of other girls though, but of love give by people. Let's say in my family, I'd be jealous if my mother showed extra care and love for my brother (because indeed she loves him the most) and here I am trying very hard to please my mother for her to love me as much as she loves him. But alas, we all know, love is never fair. As for boyfriends, I will not allow them to talk to girls or even look at them. But in all honesty we know that my rule has been broken a million and one times by ALL my bfs. It is virtually impossible to keep your eyes, hands and mouth to yourself. It's in their blood to actually want to talk to the opposite sex. So usually when this happens, I end up verbally emasculating them and making shit loads of death threats then end up crying saying I'm never good enough and that they're cheating on me, and that they never loved me at all. BLA BLA BLA. You know the works and all my dramatic actions.
- I am well paranoid : Whether be it ghosts in the corner of my room, to checking the door several times to see if its locked (its more commonly known as OCD), I'm well aware of Murphy's law and am a great fan and practitioner of it - "Anything bad that will happen, WILL and ALWAYS happen." I personally think that Murphy has destroyed my life ever since I sat at my old uni's library spending 30 minutes just copying down his laws which were hung on the walls, instead of studying for exams. From there, my paranoia as gotten the better of me. Anything possible, and ALWAYS negative, WILL happen. Hence I get many remarks that I'm always so negative and down. Guess what? Go BLAME Murphy. He planted these seeds of negative thoughts into my mind.
- I have an IN-YOUR-FACE character : Speaks for itself.
- I have an explosive temper : It's like a switch. Once you piss me off, that switch clicks and you're in deep trouble.I will and absolutely will destroy you and EVERYTHING next to you. No one has yet to figure out a way to calm me. But don't worry, I will only explode when you're extremely unreasonable and stupid. And that will only happen at home where parents and dogs roam free. And I will ALWAYS blow things out of proportion.
- I am easily affected by what people say about me : Be it bollocks, harsh words, anything negative, and I'm screwed for the day. I end up in tears, the questioning myself if its really true, then pyscho myself that it's true for in every lie/joke/insult there has to be some truth in it. See? Negative negative. The self doubt that they've instilled in me is so strong that it has run unconciously.
- I am very impatient : When I want something, I want it NOW.
- I love procrastinating : Nothing beats the thrill of doing something - last minute. I hate completing something immediately, especially when I don't have to. If it's urgent to be done, then I have no choice but to complete it on the spot. If I have time on my hands, be rest assured that "work" is the last thing on my mind.
- I am attracted to clutter : I love clutters. And I know exactly where my stuff is beneath all the clutter. I hate neatness. Everything goes missing when its neat. Is this perhaps why my life is so messy? Perhaps!
- I am not confident in myself : How can you be when you've been convinced while growing up that no one will love you when you're not skinny!? HAh. I know now that's totally untrue and that there will always be someone to love you, no matter what you are. But its still droning at the back of my head that the guy who loves you will prolly leave you for greener pastures! It really does take a toll in a relationship when all you do is tell a guy that you know that he's going to leave you anyway!
- I plan too far ahead of my life : And suffer now. Becuase we know nothing you plan will come true at the end. And you get so frustrated along the way becuase nothing is coming to as planned. Then you question yourself where you've gone wrong, when all the while you should have grasped the idea that YOU CANNOT PREDICT THE FUTURE AND MOLD IT YOUR WAY. If you believe in fate, you got to believe that everything happens for a reason.
- I am too soft hearted : I will forgive people no matter how fucked up they've treated me. I always beat myself up for that because I know that its a sick cycle and they will continue making use of your soft heartedness and get to you each and everytime and after that they'll beg you for forgiveness then you forgive them bla bla bla. It goes round and round. You'll get the idea.
- I love sugar coating things : That's only if I'm not close to you. If I'm close to you, I will tell you that an apple is an apple. An apple will not have maple candy coated over it.
- When I'm super emo, sense and logic do not apply anymore : When I'm really upset, no matter how much you try to comfort me, I only listen to my own self and there is NO ONE who can tear down that wall I built around my heart. EMO kan? :D So, please don't ignore me and stop comforting me, because it's nice to know you care, but only I don't wish to heed your advise, I still appreciate it tho!
- I will make you feel as shitty as you made me feel : Yes yes, I am Queen of Verbal revenge, however I do not believe of physically avenging my broken heart. But, with my dagger tongue, be rest assured I will make you feel that you were never born. And you will ALWAYS regret saying things about me that hurts me. This only apply to selective people at my will.
- I am emotionally attached to people whom I know may not always be right/good for me : And give them the privilege to trample on my dreams and hopes and views and opinions like they didn't matter to begin with.
- I get depressed easily : However I believe this has been years of pent up resentment and loath and misery cast upon me by people I love the most.
- I'm too afraid to stand up for myself to my family : Because if I were to have it my way and for me to be happy, they'd all die of heartache sooner or later.
- I am very stubborn : the more you don't want me to do something, the more I will do it. Vice versa. Unless there's a big bribe there as to why I should be doing it, rest assured that I won't budge an inch.
- I am passive aggressive : Read all about it here.
- I secretly seek for approval : Even though it is not very obvious. I want people to like me. I am thinking it started from home that I have always tried to seek approval from thy parents and I always seem to be doing the wrong thing and displeasing them. And they end up loving the bright one more, the one who could speak words of honey and win their heart. It is likewise in a group of friends, because you know, no man is an island. You will always require friends to aid you when you fall.
- I get bored really quick : I used to change boyfriends like underwear, and buy clothes that I would only wear once. My attention span is that of a gnat (ie fly). It is so short, I always day dream at work and at school. Once I lose interest in the guy, there is no way in hell he'll get back my interest gain.
- I am not strong enough to fight for what I want and to protect myself : This is because I am totally ultra weak and useless. Period.
- I flirt my way out : to get what I want. Don't lie, I'm sure you all do it too.
- I am always dissatisfied with what I have : This is what Cherry said about me " the kind like u see 2 birds then u let go of the one bird in ur hand, and try to catch the two birds, cuz u so disatisfied with ur one bird, and then one day u beh tahan u throw it away,but then when u fail to tangkap the 2 birds u mega dulan, loose everything n den go spiralling down hell" - this is a spot on description of what I really am. You're amazing, Cherry!
- I bring sunshine into people's lifes : If you don't believe me, ask the many people who's lifes are so dark and dim. They're so glad that someone SO SILLY like me waltz's into their lives and make it a slightly happier place to be in. I am starting to find that despite all my sad stories, there are always people who have sadder stories and need someone like me to make them see some light in their lives :)
- I genuinely love people : I don't love you because you're rich or good looking, or have many other benefits. If I say I love you (be it friends, family or bfs) I really do. And even if I don't say it, you can see that I do love you.
- I will always support you if what you're doing makes you happy : Unless its morally wrong for me to do so. So if you think marrying a pineapple or a cat makes you happy, GO AHEAD! Life is short, don't spend it on other people's views (if only I can tel myself that!!!!!)
- I am always empathetic towards people's situation and always try to find a way out for them : It affects me to see people upset and if it's within my powers, I will try to make it all better for them.
- Laughter is medicine : I am always laughing and giggling. This is quite contagious, but when I laugh, I truly laugh. I don't give polite obligatory fake shit gentle laughs. When I laugh, I laugh it from the heart!
- I am very good at making people feel at ease : This is because I am very friendly and warm. I used to be overly friendly and then SCARING people off, but I've learnt to deal with now I'm older and only USE abit of the friendliness, but nevertheless make people calm down and feel at home.
- I love mingling with people : Anti-social people hates me.
- No matter how shitty your life is, mine will always be shittier : This is what I will tell people whenever they're having a bad day, because you know your life is shittier and they'll feel better knowing that they're not the worse. It's all psychology man.
- I don't control people : If you're who you want to be, you go ahead and be that person. I will still love you for who you are. This only applies to friends, and not my bfs. He's the only one person I will try to change to improve him (that'll depend on how stubborn he is also lah, if stubborn like cow like that I also boh pian right?)!
- I really love love the people I love : For example WK. Ask her what I allow her to do! You guys will know it whether I truly love you anot lar! (Fran, Esther etc etc etc)
- I am very generous : with help, love, kind words, hugs and all sorts of goodies. If comfort is what you need, shit loads of comfort is what you get. I will even give you a place on the foot of my bed to sleep on.
- I believe in Karma : anything bad done or said will come back to you a million times worse. That is why when I realise I've said something wrong I always slap mysslef on the cheeks. I know it doesn't counter out the bad things I've done, but at least I've punished myself for it.
- I don't despise people : no matter what situation they are in. I believe that everyone plays a role in this society and everyone is important. So FUCK all those people who think that road sweepers or dvd sellers are the most useless people on earth. Without the roadsweeper you think your roads gonna clean themselves isit with your I-love-throwing-rubbish-on-the-roadside attitude! Then you'll be travelling in filth, you snobs. If they are no DVD sellers you think you can get your regular porn? Or DVDs at RM4? You'll have to spend bloody RM12 to go to the cinemas! And we all know that asians are all CHEAPSKATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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