Disclaimer : This is only for jokes and not a real way to kill someone!
1.) Self Defense
The most basic form of killing someone without ever having your actions questioned.
"He hit me, and threatened to hit me more, and i was afraid of my life your honour. i had to do something if not he'll kill me!" - and that would explain why he ran into your knife or car, several times.
to jazz it up, you can hit yourself and give it as evidence that he had hit you first.
See? It's too simple though.
The most basic form of killing someone without ever having your actions questioned.
"He hit me, and threatened to hit me more, and i was afraid of my life your honour. i had to do something if not he'll kill me!" - and that would explain why he ran into your knife or car, several times.
to jazz it up, you can hit yourself and give it as evidence that he had hit you first.
See? It's too simple though.
2) Black Magic
There's no law saying that using black magic will land you in jail right?! So use it lah!!!!! Law only concentrates on physical actions, not black magic! and theres not scientific or logical way that they can prove it, and even if they did, how sure are they that it was from you and not other people?????
There's no law saying that using black magic will land you in jail right?! So use it lah!!!!! Law only concentrates on physical actions, not black magic! and theres not scientific or logical way that they can prove it, and even if they did, how sure are they that it was from you and not other people?????
3) Nagging
Yes, you can literally nag someone to death.
Suicide is the more common and general term of this kind of murder!
Yes, you can literally nag someone to death.
Suicide is the more common and general term of this kind of murder!
4) Boredom
If he/she hates church, bring them there constantly. They'll end their lives sooner or later.
For a more drastic measure, bring the men shopping. It really works!
Heeeeee :)
Boredom really works wonders !
If he/she hates church, bring them there constantly. They'll end their lives sooner or later.
For a more drastic measure, bring the men shopping. It really works!
Heeeeee :)
Boredom really works wonders !
5) Cholestrol laden food
Love the person to bits? Then feed him all the tastiest foods on earth! Feed him every meal of the day! sure it'll cost alot more! but he'll pop sooner or later when his cholestrol hits the fan!
Who's gonna put you in jail for feeding your honey because you love them?
No one will!!!
Love the person to bits? Then feed him all the tastiest foods on earth! Feed him every meal of the day! sure it'll cost alot more! but he'll pop sooner or later when his cholestrol hits the fan!
Who's gonna put you in jail for feeding your honey because you love them?
No one will!!!
6) Photoshopping!
There's no other more invention and joyable way of killing someone - directly or indirectly by photoshopping!
If he's a guy, no better way than photoshopping his face on gay porn, then forwarding it to the whole world.
Or better, have gay porn magazines subscribed in his name, then sent to his office address and also in laws place.
If he had any shame, he'd kill himself in no time.
OR if the person is a woman whom you wanna kill?
Vice versa :
There's no other more invention and joyable way of killing someone - directly or indirectly by photoshopping!
If he's a guy, no better way than photoshopping his face on gay porn, then forwarding it to the whole world.
Or better, have gay porn magazines subscribed in his name, then sent to his office address and also in laws place.
If he had any shame, he'd kill himself in no time.
OR if the person is a woman whom you wanna kill?
Vice versa :
Although sending lesbian porn to the abovementioned addresses wouldn't make her a laughing stock. It'll only further turn men on which is an ego boost for her!
No comments:
Post a Comment