How to bag a Richie

SURE-FIRE WAYS TO MARRY A RICH PERSON

disclaimer: these sure-fire ways are not tested on human beings - yet.



IF YOU ARE A WOMAN SEEKING FOR A RICH MAN:

RULE 1.

Have really big boobies.

Small/normal boobies will not attract a rich man's attention that much.
Sorry babes :(

Tips to enlarge your chest:
1. eat chicken. They have alot of hormones to make your boobies grow big.
2. sleep on your chest. this exerts pressure on your boobies to grow big.
3. massage your boobies. they like being massaged so they'll grow big.
4. get a plastic surgeon to make your boobies big.
5. eat papaya. so your boobies will grow big like it.

Wrong kind of big boobies:

unless you intend to suffocate him to death. NO.

Rule 2.

Make sure your nipples stay perk all the time while they are being pushed up.
This has been proven almost impossible.
Either your big boobies sag without the bra, or the bra covers up your perky nipple erection.
And plus your nipples cant be perky 24/7.

You'd want to catch the rich man's attention all the time by having perky nips.

Hence I introduce this:



Nipple enhancers!

So now you can have perky nips all the time and still have your fabulous boobies being pushed up!

And no one has to know that your nippies aren't real!

Rule 3.

You should have a really amazing ass.
Guys/rich men are all about the nice asses.

If you don't have a nice ass, tough luck.

Go visit your plastic surgeon.
It's about time.

Rule 4.

Be silly.

Rich men like to have silly women by their side.
In other words, they like pretty flower arrangements.
Be silly, make them laugh, it relaxes them.
Intellectual conversations just wear them out, and you don't want that.
We all know they just want to shag you, your big boobies and your really nice ass.

Rule 5.

Get a bunny.

Makes the rich man think you have a softer side of you.

Melts his heart.



Then throw your bunny away, and run into his arms and cry like a baby and tell him it ran away.

He'll feel the sense of protection towards you and hence take over the role of taking care of you.

Voila! You are half way there to bagging the man of your financial dreams.

Rule 6.

If you don't like bunnies, then be a playboy bunny.



That'll for sure catch rich men's attention!

Rule 7.

If you prefer to keep your media chastity intact, then be a model.



With really big boobies, nice ass, amazing hair, toned abs and biteable lips.

Now you're almost there!

Rule 8.

Target older age populations of the rich.

They like younger girls with everything still pointing up.



Remember, the older, the better.

Young rich men with their muscles still intact will only fool around and waste your time.

Rule 9.

Learn to give a really good fellatio
(not using the literal meaning of this word for polite causes)

the picture totally ruined my polite cause.

Face it, all men LOVEEEEEEEEEEE fellatio.

End of story.

Rule 10.

If all else fails, you ladies know what to turn to.



And if this doesn't work, I'm sorry :(

You're destined to marry an average, or even worse, a poor man.

*****

IF YOU ARE A MAN SEEKING FOR A RICH WOMAN:

Rule 1.

You got to look hot.


Like this.

If you're not as hot, and you're in the 98% of the real of men in the society,



then thats where the Vodka comes into part (for the women, not you).

Or you can become
Ashton Kutcher (or equivalent)



Rule 2.

Have a sizeable crotch.



Preferrably bigger than this.

hee.

Rule 3.

Learn the Kama-Sutra well.



She'll thank you for this.

And most probably consider marrying you.

Rule 4.

Find rich women who are at their age of 30-35.
If they're still single, that would mean they are REALLY LOOKING for someone to settle down with.

That's where you come in.

Rule 5.

Once you've caught the rich woman's attention,
be romantic whenever possible.



ALL women are suckers for romance.

Even if they are career driven, high powered women who look suspiciously like men, or sport a light moustache,

they are still suckers for romance.

Rule 6.

Have stamina.

Have stamina in bed,
for shopping sessions,
for long walks at the beach,
for grocery shopping together,
for running back to the shops just cause she forgot to buy something earlier on.

You'll thank this rule once you suceed in grabbing her attention.

Rule 7.

Be partially deaf.

Women are all the same.

They nag,
and nag,
and nag,
and nag,
and nag.

So if you can put up with the nagging,
you're half way there.

Rule 8.

Constantly remind them that they are beautiful,
amazing in bed,
amazing hearts,
perfect tastes in fashion,
and that you love her cats. (optional)

And that you are not after her money.
You are after her heart.

She is beautifully amazing.

You should do this countless times and should not be tired of saying it.

This will be your mantra.

Rule 9.

Whisper sweet nothings whenever possible.

I know this picture does not coincide with the rule,
but look at how adorable piggy 1 is whispering sweet nothings to piggy 2 while napping together :)

Women are suckers for sweet words and flattery.

Rule 10.

Pillow talk.

We absolutely love pillow talk.

Talking is like, FOREPLAY for women.

If you have tried the above of my rules, and still failed to bag a woman
(guess what? all women are rich, we just don't show them in the bank accounts, but in our shoes and wardrobe),

then you have completely failed as a man,
and shall be required to move into the wilderness and stay put there.

Disclaimer: I hope my silly blog does not offend anyone. Only meant for entertainment purposes. No harm directed at anybody.

To: Kuan, Kevin.
This is for you both.


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