For Your Female Eyes Only

Ok guys, you have been forewarned.
Judging by the looks of the picture above,
I'm about to embark on writing something that will scare young unmarried bachelors out of their pants.

All girls (and 13% of the guys I know) want to get married.
So this blog is dedicated to all the girls who tied the towels to their hairbands and pretended that that was their veil, who carried their mum's flower vase arrangements and pretended that that was their wedding bouquet, who dragged their neighbours, while playing together to be the groom,
and to all the girls who secretly dreamt that love was just as what Disney told us it would be
-
Happily ever after.

Right. So you're in love with your dream guy. Dated for ___ years, and have decided to settle down. Next natural step is to get married, right?

WRONG.

The next natural step is to take a step back and look at the whole picture.
Visualise your future with him, take time to think of what will happen if you were to stick to him (remember guys will hardly help with the dishes. Its good enough if they didn't help. We don't need them giving us extra chores like cooking for their friends last minute on a guys night in).

Yes you love him, but you also have to consider a million gazillion things before you really promise to marry him.

But hey, this blog isn't on worrying about your future,
or marrying the wrong man.

Its about the celebration of the matrimonial love of 2 people! :)

We should start with the proposal.

Proposals can be done in any way possible.

In a ball game, going down on your knees at the right moment, ring hidden in the dessert, via media, etc etc etc.
What is important is the originality of the proposal.
The funner the better.

Like the fortune cookie above! Wouldn't it be nice if you went for chinese, had a fortune cookie at the end of dinner and found this ring in it instead of a piece of paper reading your fortune?
THEN he gets down on his knees and proposes.

*swoons*

By now, I presumed you've said yes to him.
(if you said no, boohoo. Go read other blogs, this blog has no further use for you !)

Now you need to choose the final wedding bands.

I like the classic simple ones.
Not so much on solitaires. I think they are overrated. I prefer clustered diamonds!
this way you get more diamonds. hee.
Yellow gold to white gold. Or rose gold. Your choice!
Make sure you get it engraved for extra romanticity :)

is romanticity even a word????

WRONG CHOICES OF WEDDING BANDS




what the hell were you thinking!?!?



I understand the concept that screws and nuts belong together.

But seriously, only screws and nuts will purchase this wedding band.

Seriously.

The next most important thing would be your wedding gown.
This is your once in your lifetime (most preferred unless inevitable)

Choose the right one for your body size, and always go with the conventional traditional patterns.
Don't try to squeeze into something that will make your fats bulge out from the sides of your arms.
Look classy. Not wrapped.
Agogo fashions will highly be despised and not entertained.



Sweet and simple. We do not want clutter on our wedding day.

Or looking like a clown strayed from the circus.




Plus sized ladies like me so go with A cut gowns and not can-can gowns.
The A cut linings will go smoothly down your curves and down-size them.
Can-can gowns will DESTROY you.
You have been warned.

If your blessed with a chesty front like me, scallop-top gowns like the one above is amazing :)




If you're slim built, this will go amazing with your tight body!
Look at the rara-ruffffffffffffles! :)



The bridesmaids can wear red (a very good colour for us asians - should minus the black)
It is preferred if the dresses are of the same pattern so as to prevent looking like some multicoloured dress up party.

Uniform dress, uniform colour - speaks class.

Avoid wearing dresses as if you're going clubbing.
Big nono.

So with wedding dresses, comes the flower bouquets.



Whatever your bouquet is, make it tasteful.
Do not have leaf vines hanging out.
You do not want to look like a walking flower arrangement.



Have the flower bouquet tidy and neat.

The main attraction of the day is to show how beautiful you are.
Do not distract the guests with unruly leaf vines swaying here and there.

Now we move forth to the wedding.

Like our asian culture, the more tables you have, the more wealthy you are, the more "face" our parents get.

Bunch of bollocks.

Weddings should be a joyous occassion for the couple to announce their love for each other.
yada, yada, yada.
Not a time for parents to show off.
If you want more tables, go pay it yourself.
Don't make your kids sell their kidneys just to pay for extra tables so you can show off to your friends at the old folks community centre that you're living the LIFE.




Again, try to keep the colours minimal at the wedding.
Probably a maximum of 3 colours.

Should probably go for warm colours such as yellow, orange and red if its with yellow lighting.
Or other light colours according to the ambience and setting you wish for.

Colours like dark green, dark blue are discouraged.




Don't have candles at your wedding.
The last thing you want is some kid running around, knocking down the candles, and burning down your whole wedding.

You can't miss out on the wedding cake!

Well like the colours of your wedding, you cake should highly likely match the colour of the settings.




This cake above would go amazing with an outdoor setting.
But getting in Malaysia, you'd probably suffocate to death in the humidity and get stung by nyamuks.




Look how pretty! :)




And let's not forget the centerpieces for the wedding tables.
They should also probably come together with all the colours of the wedding setting.


And you should always hire an experienced wedding musician for the wedding.

To make it classy, choose the strings quartet.

If you are looking for a cheaper budget, go to the best live band place you know, and ask the band to perform.

No rock songs. Only love songs allowed.
Make sure that your sound system is good.

If you have a lousy sound system,
You might as well knock down the candles at your wedding
(if you have any)
and burn the whole wedding.

I wish Adam Sandler would sing for my wedding!

Alas, the wedding dinner is over.

You're all packed up for the honeymoon.

You're thinking....maybe I should go to this uber romantic getaway islands called
Bora Bora?

Look how amazing it is!

Malaysia is only about 7cm away from Bora Bora islands!

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

You have spent all your hard earnt money on the silly wedding dinner with 70 tables that costs RM1,200+++ each.

Well done. Now you're all broke.

But you still need to go on a honeymoon.

But where????

Sawadeekaaaaaaa, yes you are right.

You head for Thailand!!!!!!!

Cheap and good, Thailand is far by the best place to holiday.

Plus its next to Malaysia.

Even if you missed your flight you can still drive home at a cheap price.

The night view of the Royal Palace at Bangkok is breathtaking.

Not to mention what you can feast your eyes on at the Floating Market!!!!

And the world of jewlry at a cheap price!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, weddings, the most expensive night you can ever pay for just to get laid with dignity and pride.

X