Fran was speaking to me this morning about punishing her bf 'hoho' - as we endearingly call him, cos he slapped her. But to his defense she slapped him first, so no body is rushing to the phones calling women's aid to ask them to come lock him up cos he's a wife beater.
But HOW do we punish him when our bf's tick us off? That is the ultimate question.
We aren't looking for conventional ways like... killing him, refusing sex, stop picking up his calls. BLA BLA BLA. These are all outdated oK! We must be modern like the times we're living in now!
Ok, i've brainstormed for 2 mins.
And here's how :
1) Make flyers and paste it everywhere.
Put his big face on an A4 paper and write this way - _____, giant dickhead/douchebag/asswipe/a-hole/knnbccb.
Then photo shop and dick, and paste it on his forehead. Then click print!
Staple and paste this on to anything you can get. If you're generous, spend some money to get kids to give your flyers out! :D
2) Shove a tomato or potato into his car exhaust.
You get the idea.
3) Lure him into bed.
And hand cuff him to the bed post, and leave him there for 30 hrs. That'll teach him a lesson to mess around with you.
4) Tell his mother that you're pregnant.
and then he pushed you down the stairs, so now you've just had a miscarriage. Tell her he did that because he didn't love you anymore and wanted to get rid of you.
Let's see how aunty kicks his ass.
5) Remove the batteries from the tv remote,
and glue it onto the ceiling fan blade. He tugs too hard, the whole fan comes down. If he's bright enough, he'll dismantle the blades and take it down.
OR
you can glue the tv on off buttons together so they don't move when pushed.
6) Porn stash.
Know where he keeps his FHM? ZOO? Playboy? Well glue all their sides together. Let's see how he tries to pry them open.
7) Glue all his cards together.
Driving license, atm card, creditcard, autopass, ANYTHING that he needs to use daily, glue them together. with ELEPHANT GLUE.
8) Glue his dick and balls together.
YEs i'm all about the gluing. It's cheap and effective ma! It's too bloody to cut them all off and you might go to jail big time for that.
If you're still angry after this, glue his lips together.
9) Cut off all the electrical appliances.
First cut off the tv, then the phone, the the computer and all the other mee-hoon wire cords, then the fridge (hohohohohohoho), then finally the main box switch (if thats possible).
10) Pour glue on his couch.
And on his stairs, and banisters. Toilet seats. Anything possible.
May be alot of work. but it's fun to watch the aftermath.
11) Soak his cpu in water.
Then put it back where it was and watch the fun again.
12) Buy lotsa crickets from the petshop
And set them free in his house! Pay back, and good karma for releasing life! :D It's also cheap!
Ok lah, thats all I got from 2 mins of brainstorming!
Have fun with your revenge!
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