How to lose weight effectively

1) Stop eating like fucking pig

The less you eat the less fats stored in your body. That's pretty much the most straight forward advise that I could give you. Stop grabbing that extra french fry thats lying in front of you. You don't need it to fill your empty soul.

2) You don't need condiments with your food.

Theres no need for salt, ketchup, mayo or anything else that makes the food taste humane. Yes. People on diet eats food that tastes like shit. If you're enjoying your food and its tasty, you're doing it the fucking wrong way.

3) Stop eating Kentucky Fucking Fried Chicken.

Or Macdonalds, or any other fast food for that matter. Anything that comes to your hands and plates within 2 minutes is fucking bad for you. Anything that takes an hour to cook over a slow fire is good. Remember, fried chicken bad. Caveman food, GOOD.

4) Practice cannibalism

You don't see any fat cannibals do you?

5) Start have sex. ALOT.

Sex burns off alot of calories. Don't give me that missionary bullshit. If you're on your back, you're not losing fat.

6) Stop drinking all those sweet drinks.

Anything sweet is bad. BAD. Anything is bitter is good. Sour is best.

7) Eat lots of lemons and chillis.

They are reputed to burn off fats.

8) Stop sitting on your fucking arse and start doing exercise.

You don't do any fucking exercise you don't lose any fucking weight. Simple as that.

9) Get depressed.

Most depressed people lose weight. I on the other hand, gain weight. If you're anything like me, you're screwed because you ultimately know life is depressing anyway.

10) Buy tiny clothes.

Squeeze your fats into the most imappropriate places and allow people to mock and scorn you. Your shamed self will automatically want to lose the weight.

11) Be anorexic, or bullemic.

It works wonders!

12) Fall in love with the most superficial fuck you can find.

The power of love can make you do all the impossibles.



Obviously you can see that I've failed miserably in losing weight effectively because I have failed in achieving any of those.

This is just a freaking mock up of the pointers to lose weight effectively because I'm sick and tired of my residual fats still sitting on my uber hot body. MUAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA. Rubbish. I'm just super bored.

Toodles!