Goodbye Queeny

You know when they say that a dog is a man's best friend?

That shit is true.

And I only thought it happened in the movies.

Today I witnessed what we call the human-animal bond.

Today, Queeny, 8 months, passed away.

She, like many times we taught her, never looked both ways while dashing out of nowhere and KNOCKED into a car.

She foamed at the mouth and then vomitted blood. And then she died.

It was the boyf's dog and he wasn't there for her. He was with me. And when we got there, she had already died. One eye was open still. He was crying and said that she was waiting for him to come home to see her.

Immediately I felt a pang of guilt. Why did I force him to be with me? He could have been there to call her home instead of her wandering alone outside the house. Why did I force him to adopt her from the drains? However she could have been eaten by vietnamese, or knocked down by other cars.

I don't know. Everything seemed to be my fault and I can't stop feeling guilty. The whole time I was trying to console him. He has been crying for 6 hours. He started talking to the camera while looking at Queeny's pictures. He laid on the bed and sobbed. He kneeled beside Queeny's warm body and sobbed while she lay lifelessly on the floor.

I stood next to him, my heart breaking. Watching the love of my life having his heart broken. The dog was his companion. She was there for him when I couldn't. She was there to cheer him up when I wasn't. Basically, she was everything I could not be - She was his best friend. She was there when he went to bed, and was there when he woke up. Although she was only in the family for less than 8 months, she had already become such a big part of his life. He loved her so much. Fed her the best dog food there was.

I cried, not because I loved the dog. Yes I like the dog, but there was no bonding. I hardly ever played with it. I was hardly ever at his place. I cried because I saw him crying. It was MY FAULT that he was crying. Why did I let him get into all these emotional attachment by just doing a good deed ? I'm now sure that if I left the dog alone, other good samaritans would have brought it home and I would have saved the one I love from such heart ache.

He bought a house with a huge garden, just so Queeny could run about in it. Now, it would only be an empty space. He was so upset when we came back from the clinic after paying them to bury her. He sat in the car and said that she would know that he was back, and she would wait for him at the door when he left. She was always there. That made me feel inadequate as a girlfriend, but what is there to do. There was nothing I could do that could even hold a candle to a dog. And that was a fact.

He just cried and cried.

Yes, I had a few encounters with Queeny. She left me several memorable scratches. She killed many of my shoes. She menstruated all over his bed spread and she infected most of the family with ticks. That idiot dog. She was so good at everything - all except watching for traffic. The house wasn't even located on the main road!

She was meant to die. The boyf's mum said that she was blocking some impending disaster and died in its place instead. That made him feel worse. It was like Fatty - my chincilla. You've never heard of that story have you? Well that's cos it died a day after I bought it. I got dengue and I couldnt get out of bed. I knew it died. My dad thought I was going to die because I didnt even move and my fever was skyrocketing. He never even came into my room to see me for that whole week. He was too afriad. I felt guilty that it had to sacrifice its life so I could live. But perhaps that was the way of life.

I knew Queeny loved him very much and would have died for him. It's just so sad when words become reality.

I love Queeny, but I love my boyf more. I've never seen a grown man so upset about an animal. I guess that's the power of having a dog.

It was weird that the dog crashed into the car, rather than the car crashed into the dog. Queeny didn't have any visible wounds. But there was evident internal bleeding. I guess she gave her life to save his.

I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better. But there really isn't.

For once in my life, I really don't know what to do.

Last night we even played with her before I left. We had so much fun. She's gone. Just like that.

Goodbye Queeny. Thank you for keeping your master company. I know you're in Heaven now, but please keep a look out for him and keep him safe. I love you.