In lieu to the fact that I'd be having children in years to come (in God's Grace), there are some teachings that I have to instill in them. Things that I've attained, things I've failed to which was due to years of habit and that the fact that I was the product of my environment.
1) Humility. Everyone has to be humble, no matter how far you climb in life. When you're rich, or smart, or anything that everyone praises you to be of, you have to be humble. When you're poor, you have to be humble. No use being proud when you're not rich.
2) You must always give thanks to people who helped you and even though they failed to give you what you wanted, you must always thank them anyway. For they have given you their efforts and will. It does not kill to say 2 simple words of thank you.
3) No use being proud and cocky when you're beautiful. Beauty can only bring you so far in life. It is an added bonus, but it is not everything. Not everyone is superficial and would give in to your whims and fancies when you're beautiful.
4) You have to look far and look beneath the exterior of the person you're going to marry. Do not marry someone because he is handsome. But only marry him when he shows qualities of a good husband and a good father. You have to foresee in near future if he is going to play an active part in the family you'll soon create together.
5) My dear daughter, do not marry a rich man's son when he himself isn't hardworking. Remember that the wealth only lasts not more than 3 generations. And remember they are more spoilt than normal men and would have more vices than the normal men. If you're able to tolerate these personalities, by all means. But if not, a normal man (hardworking still included), is more than enough.
6) Do not force destiny and fate. If its yours its yours. If its not yours, don't force it.
7) Do not break up people's family, no matter how much you want the person, or how suitable that person is for you. You will go to hell for this. Do not get entangled with married men and then break up his/her family just to be with you. No good will come out of this.
8) My dear daughter, do not be someone's mistress. I can't stress this enough. Yes, you'll get everything that his first wife can't have, but remember, you'll always be no.2 in life, and in the society's eyes. You will be scorned and shamed. Do not do this to yourself. When judgment day comes, you'll be fucked. It's only ok for someone to be the second wife, when the first wife has divorced him (not because of you), or has passed away. But either way, it is always better to find someone who has always been single. That way he'd have less emotional baggage and shit for you to handle.
9) Do not worry. When it's time to worry, it's time to worry. This is something that I've failed in life to do. I always worry beforehand and things get messy from there. I worry about the smallest things on earth. This has been passed down from my mother, and you'll most likely get it too. But I hope from young, I'd be able to teach you to be calm and open and only start worrying when you're faced with it.You have no idea how brain cells have died when I start worrying for nothing.
10) Do no evil. Do not talk bad about anyone. Only talk of the good. For whatever bad things that come out of your mouth will come back one day and bite you in the ass. There is no benefit for you to talk bad about anyone. But a good word may save a person's life. Remember that.
11) Karma. Remember what goes round comes around. You may not get the retribution.But perhaps it'll get to your closest loved ones, and I swear it will be more painful to watch your loved ones get it, than you suffering it.
12) Be grateful. To everything and everyone. Always give thanks and remember the person who has helped you before. Do not make use of a person and ditch them when you've finished using them. That is the wrong thing to do in life, and that many people are doing it. I myself am reminding myself to always be grateful to the people who have helped me.
13) My dear daughter. Do not nag at your husband. Give him his space and give him plenty of understanding. One day your nagging will lead him to leave you and cheat on you, or worse out of anger, hit you. Keep your lips tight, and only say good things to him. Try to rephrase your words and channel your advises in a positive way. Men don't take criticisms well. I learnt it the hard way.
14) My dear son, do not hit women. No matter how angry you are. Do not hit them. You can scream and shout. But do not raise your hand.
15) Do not dabble too much in gambling, smoking, taking drugs and drinking. It will cost you your family and your life. Family is all you'll ever have.
16) Do not borrow from loan sharks. In fact, if its possible, refrain from borrowing money from anybody. No one should know that you're a broke ass. The loan sharks will kill you, or worse, your family.
17) My dear daughter, it is more important to be a good wife and mother than being a career woman. When you work too hard in life, you might turn back to find that you've missed all opportunity to see your children grow up, or to pay attention to your husband or worse, marry at all. Life is about family and children. That is how it was meant to be. Let the men bring home the bacon. You can always be his adviser. If he truly loves and respects you, he'll give you the chance to voice out your opinions in helping improve what he does.
18) Do not trust your spouse/bf/gf 100%. Always leave 10% to yourself. You will not know when they'll hurt you.
19) Paranoia ruins everything. Try to bring some sense and logic into your thinking. I am still trying to cope with this. It's an unexplainable behaviour.
20) Always be generous. There is no point being stingy. The richest person is the person who gives the most, even if you're not literally rich.
21) Don't bother holding someone's balls when he's rich. He'll know you're only doing that because he's rich and he will either take advantage of the fact that he knows you're willing to do anything so that he can be affliated with you, or he'd despise that you only want his wealth and influences and that everything you ever plan will back fire. Help those who are in need. When they are out of the woods, they will remember you for life. That is what matters the most.
22) Always respect the elders. Always be courteous, polite and helpful, even when they're assholes most of the time. Bite your tongue and refrain from pissing the elders off. Me and your father is ok. You can talk back to us, but only with reason and logic, and not out of sheer anger. You are the product of us, and if you make other people unhappy, you will shame us, that we did not bring you up well.
23) My dear daughter, for the first few months of you dating your boyfriend, NEVER enter his room alone. Always sit in the living room, where his parents can see you. I did not bring you up so hard so that other people can call you a loose wanton. Always be familiar with the family and that they are comfortable with you, and then you can enter his room alone. Remember that. The first impressions are the most important.
24) Always treat people with respect. How you treat people outside reflects who you are. You won't go far in life if you don't show respect to anyone.
25) Always remember that everyone plays a part in life. Do not look down on people just because they are holding jobs lower than you. Do not mock toilet cleaners. For without them, you'll have to bear with unhygenic toilets in which you might contract some weird disease that makes your penis drop off or that your vagina starts oozing funny stuff. Do not mock garbage collectors, without them you'd wake up to the smell of your rubbish bin, everyday for the rest of your life. You'd be living with maggots and flies. And you'll be susceptible to things like salmonella, cholera and e.coli. No one is more superior than the other. You are all equals in this life.
26) My dear daughter, please remember that even though you're smart, do not show it - excessively. Not many people can accept the fact that a woman is smarter and more dominating than a man. And my dear son, please don't be a show off, especially if you're an empty vessel. People will laugh at you behind your back and you won't go far in life.
27) Do not judge people by their looks. But by how they treat people.: with humility, respect, gentleness and kindness.
28) Control your temper and bite your tongue. What is said cannot be unsaid. You will not regret this advise.
29) My son, do not philander. Even though it runs in the family, refrain from doing it. Your cock does not need to meet so many women.
30) My dear daughter, do not give up your virginity so quickly. At least wait till you're 21. And remember to use lots of protection!
31) My dear son, do not marry a woman just because she is beautiful. When she gets older, she has to be some sort of benefit to you. Be it helping you in your business, or being a good homemaker. Do not marry a woman whose only beautiful and sucks money from you like a leech. You will not earn money that fast to let her suck. And she will suck you dry, and not in a good way. When she gets old, you'll realise that she is good for nothing and IF she doesn't bear you a child, you can dump her. Yes, your mother is that realistic.
32) Learn to save money. My grandfather once told my mother, and my mother told me, it doesn't matter how much you earn, if you can't learn how to save, you're fucked.
33) Do not be greedy. Enough is enough.
34) Refrain from killing, unless it attacks you eg. mosquitoes etc. If it's there and it does you no harm, leave it alone.
35) Do not steal. You do not need to resort to doing that. We're are not dirt poor, and even if we're poor, we have dignity.
36) At the end, the race is only with yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. You would not know what they're going through.
37) Remember you do not need many friends, only a handful is enough to get by.
38) Remember that people are ALWAYS judging you. Always put on your best front and don't give them any room to find fault in you. Always be neutral and side no one. This will save you alot of trouble.
39) Do not engage yourself in politics of any sort. It is time wasting and you won't benefit from it, unless you're the mastermind of it all and benefit from all the monopolizing. If you're just doing it for the fame and not for the good of the country and society, please. Do not associate yourself with all these fiasco.
40) Do not step on people and ruin their lives on your way up. Remember when you come down, you have to meet them again. Always rethink your steps to take in life.
41) My dear son, when you're married please refrain from all the night life activities. remember you have a wife and family at home waiting for you. Go home and be with them. Life is short. Remember that.
42) Stay away from get rich schemes/multi level marketing. In the end you'll lose more money than you earn. And you'll lose everyone close to you. They will run away from you as if you're the plague.
43) Always have compassion and empathy. Do not be cold hearted. When you're in the person's position, you'll be praying that he'd have compassion and empathy too.
44) When your father and I are old, please do not throw us in the old folks home. Remember that when you were young that we were always there for you. Please always be there for us. And when we're naggy, don't fight us, just listen and try to understand. we'll forget it in a while when we get much older. And we won't be with you forever. We never found you a nuisance when you were young, please do not find us unbearable when we're old. We gave you everything we could. We now only need your time and love. Nothing else.
