Why Men Leave Us (Women's version)

Theres always 2 sides to the story. The womens story and the true story. Of course most of the time we are so drowned in our own version of why our men dont want us anymore that we block out the tiny truth thats screaming at us.

Of course women also like to blow things up in proportions. We tend to over imagine, over react and over-cry. Ive had so many girl friends and Ive heard so many reasons (most tragically silly) that I am able to come up with a short essay on WHY MEN LEAVE US (OUR VERSION).

Here are some of the more prominent reasons :

1) Our asses got too big.....

and our tummys got so huge that we can't see our toes when we stand, and our double chins look like treasure chests.

Yeah, likely they'll leave you when you gain weight (more like 60pounds) but if he really loves you, he'd stick it through or stick a straw in you and start helping you suck off your fats. Not leave you.

If hes that superficial, then bohpian lor. you were unlucky.

2) He's got someone else that he fancies.

Your best friend, his work mate, his neighbour. Practically anyone whom we regard as a threat would be the reason why he left us.

They would coincidentally be prettier than us, sluttier than us, have less body hair and perkier assets.

3) We wont give him anal.

Yep. He needs his backdoor action. But we just wont give it to him. So he's left us for another bitch who would.

4) Our PMSes got out of hand.

Permanent menstrual stress. That probably stressed the fuck out of him, us being angry fuckwads during that period. We have possibly bitched the shit out of him.

5) We dont have sex like porn stars.

We can't compare to their agility and gymnastical capabilities. We don't bend funny ways and we dont' squirt. Our vaginas cant shoot pingpong balls out of it. Thats probably why they left us. We don't fulfill their fantasies :(

6) We've grown old...

and they've gone for fresher grass with dew. Younger chicks are able to keep up in the bedroom with them when they're 60.

7) Obviously not good enough.

We lack in everything possible needed in a gf. Thats why they felt the need to change us and upgrade themselves. The other girl's got firmer tits.

8) Our vaginas aren't tight anymore.

Those damn kegels aren't working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FML.

9) We care too much about them.

Till the extent they find us naggy. We sound like their mother probably. No one wants to marry someone whose as naggy as their mother. They also took us for granted. We're too available to be there for them when they need it. Bastards.

10) We snore, fart and mutter utter rubbish in our sleep.

No guys want to sleep with girls who are just like men. Cerealsly.

11) We look damn 7 ugly after we remove our makeup.

That probably totally freaked the shit out of them, waking up looking like the Holocaust.

12) We spill too much shit on them.

Guys don't like hearing our chitchats, our problems. They want to hear moans. They want to hear 'Yes.' They want to hear the TV. Not sad, pathetic shit coming from our mouths. It's like painful static noise to them.