Alzheimers

I have an underlying problem that I have been denying all these while.

As much as it just looks like a bad habit that I've been encouraging, it has been a fearful disease that I have inherited from my family.

My memory is shortening day by day. Sometimes I don't remember what I did the day before, wore, ate, or went. I have problems remembering appointments. I don't even remember names anymore.

Usually this alzheimers disease only strike when we're old. But recently, I feel the onset of this disease increasing everyday.

I am frightened, for I know one day I will lose all my memory. And I will never remember the ones I love. Sometimes I just stare blankly at the person and feel as if we are strangers. It is frightening. Memories sometimes feel like deja vu. They are surreal, but yet, real.

Sometimes my memory seems like a stranger to me. Sometimes I cry because of it and I wish to wipe it out, but subconciuosly I treasure them.

I am worried, I am frightened. My mind is degenerating at such a fast pace I fear by the time I'm 40, I'll lose everything.