My mum sat on my bed and finally decided that I should go to a slimming centre to get skinny then I will finally be able to marry a rich guy.
That's a whole load of bollocks I hear. It has violated several of my own principles. I shook my head so furiously i swear I look like a bobble head figurine in your car.
Here is why :
1) Why should I lose weight to find someone rich who'll ONLY want me when I'm slim?
That said, i'm not ridiculously obese. I'm just, chubby (hah, i'm so kind to myself). Ok. So. You know lah, these malaysian rich guys, only want model-isque ladies. Where am I going to fit into their high flyer life when I'm been this tub of lard all my life? Right? And their tendencies of switching girls when they get bored is like how they're used with tissues.
Then mum goes and say I have to maintain and keep him happy.
Wtf right. Why the hell should I suffer and be freaking miserable just to please a man who wants me small? I know there are loads of girls who are naturally small, and I'm just not one of them.
Its just ridiculous to hear yourself say, ya, I wanna get skinny so rich men would want me. Then I will work extra hard, stop eating for d rest of my life and be a porn star in bed. That'll do the trick. Well you can bloody hell fuck off. That's what I told her (in a nicer way). I am materialistic, but I am NOT that materialistic. I just need a decent home, and him being able to feed the family comfortably. I do not care for cut throat brands, nor fancy cars (although that would be a bonus at a later stage in life). Saying that, I'm not those girls who know that they have they goodies, so they have the bargaining power. But beneath all that, its seriously, only looks and physical needs. That's what its all about. After its gone (by will or by force), you better have a plan B. If not, you're seriously fucked.
2) Chances of rich men being dicks are like rats being infested with viruses.
Well, you can't deny this fact. Right? And I know there are good guys, but they are taken, so what you want me to do? Snatch away is it? Please lor, I don't want to grow old knowing the fact that I stole him from someone else who'se prolly died of heartache or planning on my impending death via revenge. Thats just seriously too much work.
3) I already have someone who loves me the way I am.
Yeah, and she doesnt know that, and probably won't know it till I'm older and the time I'm finally gonna get married. BEcause she ruins everything. My mum despises people who are poor, and my boy isn't exactly poor, but is far from her standards. However, he has ticked most of my boxes and hey, you can't be perfect, I'm obviously not. He loved me when I was fatter and now I've lost some weight, the feeling never changed (I hope). So why should I leave this person who never judged me for someone who'll wince at my stretch marks?
The calculation just doesnt add up.
4) I am happy the way I am.
As funny as it sounds, I'm fat, but I like it. I don't know why. It's a weird thing about me loving myself and my mum's theory that I'm lack of determination and no self esteem and bla bla bla.
5) I personally think she's pushing me so hard for her own face.
Yes, she's a status driven woman. She cannot lose face in front of people. Hence I suffer. You get the idea. What she's not got in this life (wealth, status, bmws) she's gonna make sure I get it hook by crook. But what if its not destined to be (you'd guess by now I truly believe in fate and destiny)? oh well.
6) Wasting so much money when you know it doesn't work.
It prolly would work for like some time and it'll all bounce back. I'm sure everyones heard of the horror stories of fats bouncing back. So mums simple theory was stop eating for the rest of my life. I was like. Fuck it. You don't eat and see? Nabeh cibai. Dulan seh. And I'm not shy in telling how cibaidulan I am, together with all the literal words.
And you know I'm never gonna pay for that. She's going to. And when I get fat (which of course I will eventually) shes gonna say I've wasted her money when she could use it to fund her medical bills which WE all (her kids) can't do so evidently, bla bla bla and a whole load of crap.
This is the kind of problems that is fueling my impending depression. The incessant need to horde everyones life and business and to stick her damn finger in it. She is unhappy with the way we are and are constantly trying to change us into the cream of the crop (which I would naturally understand why as a mother). She said I would understand her one day, to which that one day I hopefully would. If not, tough luck mum.
I love you, but you're killing me.
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