I'm sure theres favouritism in every family.
Good for you if you're the favourite child. Not so good for you if you're the one that has to stand aside when your mum praises your brother on his achievement and his high standards in life and how lowly you are compared to him.
She never asks him for anything, nor require him to lift a finger.
However, from you, she wants the world. She wants you to take care of him when she dies. She wants you to find a husband so he can fund your brother's business whenever. She wants you to buy the groceries when you're earning 5 times less than your brother. She wants to to mend the fort at home when no one is around when you're only 24. She asks you to stay at home while she brings your brother and his gf on a trip. She prefers your brother's gf because she is a diploma holder, becuase this girl is more educated than the rest. She also prefers your 2nd brother's gf over your big brother's wife because she is more educated than her. She waits for your brother to come home only then she starts cooking when you're already starving to death. She takes up half the portion to keep for your brother alone when she gives the other half to the rest of the family. She gives him a fruit basket in his room while your fruit . Well your fruit has to be taken from her.
This is what i call favouritism.
Its actually fine with me until it crosses the line. crossing the line being : you have to accompany your brother, mind you, 32 yr old brother, swimming. and once you refuse to, she comes up with reasons why you're the worst sister, worst daughter and reasons why no one wants to marry you because you can't shed the last 5 kg, and everyone in the world wants to see you fail in life, how you'll be a burden to her and when she dies your brothers and their wives will look so down on you they'll cast you into hell.
Its just not worth it you know, when you give your best to the family, however they want more from you. shes even said when she passes on i'd have to take care of my brothers. What about me man? I'm only the youngest sister.
Its a curse. I bet its my retribution from my deeds in the past life. Now I have to suffer a fate worst than a maids. At least maids don't have to take this hierachy mind abuse.
FML. I love my mum. But I can't live like this anymore. I can't even bother to talk back to her anymore. It just eggs her on to push me off the edge until i give her an unsatisfactory answer so she can batter me more with her reasonings.
My life is a bitter comedy that the Gods have planned for their tea-time break.
The only reason why I'm so affected is because I love my mum very much. And that her words mean alot to me. I guess this isnt the same for her.
She never listens to me. She never bothers to ask if I am happy with my life. Or how my day was. Whenever I step into the car she starts pouring all the family gossip onto me and how unhappy she is with my big brother, my sis in law, my father, my maid, my dog, my aunts and uncles . everyone except her precious son. Not that I hate him, i have to make this very clear. he's a great guy. But her overwhelming love for him puts a barrier between the sibling relationship that could have flourished into a stronger bond, and I blame her for that. Now I just don't want to be close to him in fear of further comparison between him and me. Oh how perfect he is he works out all the time. Drives a nice car. Can your future husband or bf drive such a nice big car? Can he afford a rm400,000 shop house? Did you hear how an exercise freak your brother's gf is? Man her body is good. Doesn't matter her face looks like shit, but as long as her body is good, your brother and many other men will love her. And thats what men want. Stick thin body. Men don't love you for your disgusting pig-breasts or face. They want skinny bodies. Especially rich men. You'll end up with a poor man because he has no one else to choose and same goes to you. You have no figure, no nothing. You might as well die right now, you don't have a good future anymore. bla bla bla blalba.
I can list a longer version of this, but I think your brains are frying from reading this already! LOL
Its not that i'm physically abused in this family. She does everything for me. So much so that shes so convinced that she loves me the most. But the underlying part that no one sees is that the reason why she does so much for me is that so I will feel guilt-tripped into taking care of my brothers when shes not around. So I can't go conscious free to allow their wives to take care of them (their rightful duties anyway!?). And I'd have to handpeck my brothers forever. And marry a rich man so I can feed my brothers as well.
I don't know what this is. I know it is madness. I know it is the epitome of madness. It doesn't even make sense anymore. My life doesn't make sense anymore.
I receive this mental abuse of not being able to pass BM because I'm this retarded is an excuse that she uses to hurl verbal insults at me and how much she's wasted her money. To be honest, I don't think I deserve to make it to college. Hell I couldn't even pass my High school cert. All these being a lawyer for family pride and glory. I can't even face myself when I go to work when I know that I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my life.
And there is nothing much I can do to change it without giving my mother a stroke. Then if anything happens to her, I will be blamed for the rest of my life. And that is no difference from committing suicide. Saves me trouble and heartache. Saves everyone the extra effort of expanding their irises for extra vision area to look at my gigantic arse.
I bet there is a fair number of people who are facing the same or even worse or slightly better. But you all know that there is no such thing as equal love. Its all fucking bullshit.
Favouritism - still a painful topic to talk about in all races.
2 comments:
Babe, sorry to here this going on again. Sucks like hell especially when you're the one making so much compromises and then be scolded and insulted. Favouritism happens hey. My popo had to live in the broom cupboard when she married my goong. And look she wasn't some poor farmer girl people can treat with disrespect. She anak orang kaya tau.
Anyways hor, you're old enough to discern lor. What mum says isn't necessarily correct or the universal truth. Even if she calls u a fat piece of shit only a cow will marry you etc etc. you should come to the point to know that that is some deluded opinion that you shouldn't even give a crap about. That's epicly bizzare.
Some people are just so unhappy with their life, they make it impossible for other people to be happy also. Instead of feeling angry about the hurtful stuff she hurls at you, pity her la. She must have gone through hell for her to have this kinda mentality.
Like if u see a angry brking dog on the roadside u would think, wah this dog so fierce and horrible. But once you find out that actually the dog is too hungry sked you steal its food or mebbe there's a thorn in its paw, your heart will soften. And it's a much better feeling than feeling pissed and victimized by an angry barking dog.
I think that way about my dad. I acknowledge the fact that he was abused and oppressed by his own dad for the past 50+ years of his life. That's why I'm able to be more forgiving and less angry.
Hope I make sense.
<3 u
totally makes sense babe. thanks for cheering me up. i think its either me whose having mental problems, or mum. sigh.
i miss you.
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