Jo's Jibber Jabber

OK FINE.

I have neglected this blog for 2 months now. FINE. Fuck this shit I am guilty. I just can't be arsed to be blogging about my fantastically boring and depressing life. No point bumming the whole world out kan?

Was just chatting with Cynthia and she suggested that I follow the trend of blogging I AM THAT GIRL.

If you're going to squeeze sad updates from me daily, that's just too unfortunate. I have found a minion for me to pour out my problems too. And he's suffering from the backlashes of it and still in recovery. Poor Puddy.

Anyway. Here goes.

I am that girl who can sleep for 15 hours straight.

I am that girl who doesn't know shit about politics.

I am that girl who overly hard sells herself and by the time people find out the truth about her, it'd be too late.

I am that girl who is easily jealous and loves silently competing with others who are within my level.

I am that girl who has the temper of Hades.

I am that girl who hates capsicum and cauliflower and parsely.

I am that girl who's waistline is bigger than her arse.

I am that girl who wishes you'd go after her when she runs away (even though it's her fault and she's just being unreasonable!).

I am that girl who loves seeing people enjoy her cooked food.

I am that girl who is afraid to venture too far.

I am that girl who's left side portion is prettier than her right side.

I am that girl who cries silently when she sees dead animals on roadsides.

I am that girl who's heart breaks seeing abandoned parents in homes.

I am that girl who's so fantastic at camwhoring, people who see the real me goes WTF ARE YOU SERIOUS? LOL

I am that girl who has never owned any genuine branded goods.

I am that girl who loves listening to sad soppy love songs and immerses herself deep within it.

I am that girl who will hold on till the end, no matter what.

I am that girl you can count on to pull you up when you've fallen down.

I am that girl you can trust with your secrets, because I have a memory of a goldfish.

I am that girl who loves driving manual cars.

I am that girl who hates law, but stupidly took a law degree.

I am that girl who hates the feeling of helplessness.

I am that girl who loves being pampered, but hates insincerity.

I am that girl who loves glitter, and will probably overload on it.

I am that girl who never told anyone the truth for fear of being judged.

I am that girl who knows how hard it is to just smile on certain days.

I am that girl who hates being idle, something just has to be done.

I am that girl who is allergic to bullshit.

I am that girl who is actually a big softie.

I am that girl who has a fetish for light spanking. LOL.

I am that girl who is able to forget the painful pasts, and even block it out.

Most of all, I am that girl who is just trying to remain 24, while hoping to achieve a high flying job by just sitting on her flat arse and walking around in crazy heels without getting blisters, bunions and callouses.

My love for memebase.

2011-04-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

ME GUSTA.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

2011-04-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2011-04-04T21:56:00.000-07:00

Wonder when after we all dah kahwin (insyallah), there still will be gatherings like these?

hmmm.....

Nothing else makes me happier.....

2011-04-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

then having shit loads of beads to play with.

And also a piano.

And also a good sound system.

and also KFC. nomnomnom

And oh miranda strawberry - COLD.

and jelly.

and puddy.

and gummy bears!

And really hot pictures of me.

And Amarretto and Choya.

And a plenty of sleep.

and getting to pee finally.

And really good cologne on men.

And having an off day at work.

and SALES.

and shoes. and bags.

And RINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

and diamonds *drools*

And furry animals.

and lots of romp in the sack.

And rain.

and snow.

and winter and autumn.

and snug winter boots.

and waking up in the cold under a warm comforter.

and sleeping naked.

and raining while you sleep.

and having your boss praise you.

and having someone surprise you with flowers that aren't tacky.

and having amazing pasta as comfort food on a really bad day.

And seashells.

and waking up to the sound of waves.

and having no traffic jams when you're rushing.

and knowing there's someone crazily in love with you.

and having a secret admirer.

and finding money stashed up somewhere that you forgotten and suddenly found.

....and waking up to only find the person you're sleeping next to was looking at you, patiently waiting for you to wake up.

ME GUSTA.

Fran & Ped

2011-04-04T21:41:00.000-07:00

Dear bff.

You are getting married.

I am so jealous.

Y U NO GET MARRIED LATER?????

But am really happy for you.

I want to get married also.

You ring can put downpayment for a very expensive luxury car d.

I also want ;(

JEALOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Ok will take off 2 days just to attend your wedding ok.

Make sure my ang pow from Ped is RM888.00.

if not won't let him through the door.

You have been warned.

AIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

another one kahwin d.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

LOL.

Laff u!

x

Truth about Nuns

2011-04-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

Blasphemy!

OH MAN. Someone beat me to the line of cold truth.

LOL.

ME GUSTA.

Pasukan Nenen

2011-04-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

So the boob squad finally had a reunion after like what, 6 years? The 4 of us have been friends since end of 2003 till now. almost 8 years of friendship. Living next to each other in college and seeing each other almost 24/7 during uni. We stuck through thick and thin. There for each other even though we're in different places. And in England I met up with them at different times to travel and have fun.

Ah, the memories, all relived again one weekend when I took a flight specially up to KL only to drive down to PD to enjoy a night in a rm1000.00 room. FML. We never left the room. Had to fully utilise the facilities to make our moneys worth.

Friends like these don't come along everyday. I am truly blessed.

At Navi's house having her grandmother's best chai tea!!!! so memorable we all still thought about it after 5 years...

College delicacy. Tuna mushroom pasta with super rings. Ah. The college days were simple and penniless.

Missing my girls. Looking forward to the next outing.

<3

Ern learns to shower

2011-04-03T20:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last updated anything about Ern.

Now she can repeat the ABC's poorly after me. I think she hasn't properly grasp the phonetics of speaking.but it was a really good try.

Now she can say gu gu (aunty) without hissing at me. My name for the past year was actually 'hsssssssssssssss'. Don't know where she got it from, perhaps from observing me annoying my hamsters. Or did she find out that i was actually a snake?! hesus christo.

She likes to pretend that she's an ostrich and pokes her arse high up in the air while her head on the concrete floor. Does that when things aren't going her way and when she's hiding from trouble.

She's also pretty good at kneeling down to do prayers. LOL.

Now she's loving shower time with me as she get's to play with the soaps and shampoos and also drink the water coming out from the pipes.

Bless her. I put my feet there to cover her modesty.

She's so cute!!!!

Clutter free mind

2011-04-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

When old sayings mention that the hardest person to see, is yourself, they were right.

I always lament at people who's place is a shit hole, and it takes alot of love and effort for me to even help them clean up.

But to myself, my shit was every where in my room. It was as if judgment day had arrived early and that rubbish was all there is left on earth.

My room was a magnet for dustbunnies, growing molds, ants and boogeymen. HECK, there wasn't even space in my closet nor under my bed for the boogeymen to hide in. They'd go like, wtf jo, clean up your shit. I need to be here to work to pay my dues. I have to scare kids, and such, you know. For fucks sake, clear up the boxes of shit under your bed. I think your boxes are growing new boxes of shit.

It's so hard to judge myself. It's so comfortable to roll around in your own shit. Mine was what they called an organised mess. I am not gross. I am just messy. I have everything everywhere, but I know exactly where they are. And if someone even attempted to help me clear, I wouldn't know where my stuff was even if it was poking me in the face.

Kettle calling pot black. How can I go around telling people what to do with their mess when I can't even handle my own? Perhaps it's easier to tell people what to do, than telling yourself what to you.

You are you worst enemy.

So. Right. I decided to clear all my shit. And suddenly the mess in my mind cleared up a little. It was surprisingly theraputic to find money, earrings, 10000 lights, receipts, more money necklaces, people's scribbly numbers on serviets in my 239052093 bags. It was even more surprising to find things that didn't even belong to me in my bags and rooms.

But after that, it felt good. Less clutter in my room, a little less clutter in my mind. But some things can't be removed as easily as clutter and dust. But it did help elevate the mood a little.

Here's a pic of me lying in my cold room, doing nothing and beach whaling while contemplating my life's plans as it is - there are none. Stuck in this grey area, waiting for someone to pull me out of it and offer me a better alternative.

Doing nothing after tidying.

ME GUSTA.

Soft gel nails

2011-04-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

Finally got my soft gel nails done. The hard gel was killing me as it was growing too long and i couldn't even type properly. Couldn't text, couldn't play the piano.

Argh!!! Thanks Puddi for the nails! LOL. Thanks for being the santa.

The colours are wonderful and its so glittery and pretty!

ME GUSTA.

Good hamsters die early.

2011-04-03T20:11:00.000-07:00

You know the saying "good people dies first"?

This saying actually applies to hamsters as well FML. 1 year ago I bought a pair of hamsters and unbeknownst to me one of them only has 3 legs. So I endearing named it 3 legs. It was such a good hamster. Always performed acrobatics for me to watch, do monkey bars, and never bit.

The other hamster, with all limbs intact, was actually the evil one, hence the name, evil bastard. It would jump and attack you FFS. KNS. Dono how many times I donated blood to that fucker.

Anyway right, just last week I saw 3 legs not responding to my whistles and squeekings. Usually it would jump right up and sniff around for me. But this time, it just laid listlessly on the wooden shavings.

When I picked it up I knew it was about time. Hamsters only live like 2 years and god knows how long it has been living in the petshop until I came along.

It was a good hamster. Always walked with a limp in its gait. Sigh.

So I put him on my bed and he walked for about 30 secs before falling on his sides. For the love of God I thought he was going to conk out any moment, but I guess, its already been a week since the day I thought he was going to die, he's still pulling through a day at a time!!!

Look, he wobbled for a bit and decided to sleep on my comfy bed. I guess that's what old people do as well. LOL :(

Stupid 4 legs aka evil bastard still is alive and very very very energetic.

AIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh The world is such an unfair place.

To Sin Man & Kelvin

2011-04-03T19:19:00.000-07:00

I attended one of my high school best friend's wedding the other week and it was a really good time to finally meet and catch up with my old friends. It was more of a gathering for us and it was really fruitful.

My high school best friend Sin Man, married her best friend, her first love. I could only but feel envious for her. She never had to feel heart aches before she finally found her true love. She is so lucky. And I'm sure Kevin's an amazing guy, that's why she chose him.

I remember once, Sin Man gave ma stalk of flower on Valentine's Day. There was a note that read "I hope you find your prince Charming soon". Man, that was the saddest love letter I ever got. I wonder till this day, if I've found my Prince Charming, or if I'd ever find my prince charming. Maybe it was only just a dream? LOL. I think settling would be my best bet. I am after all 25 now. I'm not 15 anymore. I can't pick and choose as I wish. But that's another topic for another day.

Anyway, a wedding portrait of my best friend and her hubby.

Secretly envious when I would get to have a chance to take the prettiest photos of my life. LOL, but its good envious!

Me and Man on her wedding day. She's wearing a lovely 'kua'. Looking especially vibrant and glowing on her special day.

GOSH. Me and Man when we were in Seconday school. I think this was when we were 16. Choir perfomance outfit. EEEEEEEEsh. LOL Dorkus maximus sial.

Another picture of us at 16 after the sports day celebration. Distinctively remember this day as it was the day after I broke up with my first love. FML LOL.

A class photo taken after almost 10years.

Sin Man + Jennifer would come to my house for my birthdays when we were growing up and help me decorate my home and help my mother. They were the best friends anyone could ever have while growing up. They came all the way from Singapore just to be with me. I was truly blessed to have friends like them.

Sin Man even specially thanked me in her bridal speech on stage. I was truly pleasantly shocked to be mentioned. It wasn't even my own wedding!

Thank you Sin Man, for being such a wonderful friend. I truly wish you and Kelvin a wonderful and blessed life together as husband and wife.

Congratulations :)

I love you :D

Yes, I do!!!

2011-04-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be nice if someone proposed to me with a white baby grand with ebony and ivory keys?

FML, it costs as much as a solitaire engagement ring!

As much as I would want a diamond that costs as much as a grand piano, I personally think that the piano would be a better bargain as you'd get music for the rest of your life! And I'm a damn good pianist with a knack for hearing LOL Perasaan sial.

Anyway, saw this at a shop the other day and was thinking how I could get it when I already have an upright piano at home, and that my dad's credit card limit was only rm20k (this piano costs like RM26k). FMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFML.

Cheh, so much for dreaming out loud.

Although I would want a flashy bling ring. But everyone knows (well, everyone who is actually supposed to know) that I am a cluster ring person rather than a solitaire. Cluster rings are easier on the pockets than a solitaire!

Would be nice to have a little corner in my home for a grand piano and on quiet nights I'd serenade myself (and/or my family) with songs they love.

Hmmm... one can only dream....

LOL

2011-01-04T17:39:00.000-08:00

I haven been updating at all because I didnt know what to say.

I know most people update their blogs right before the new year talking about their new year resolutions, but guess what. I'm not doing that again. I'm not making up some false promise to myself to achieve things that probably aren't going to happy. And for those that would happen, wouldn't be called a resolution now, would it. So, just fuck it. Stop wasting my time and disappointments. I've so many other places to waste it on.

It comes to a point where people just disappoint and disappoint you. Well I have played a part in which i placed too much hope in a person! Oh well. Rookie mistake.

Really don't know what to talk about.

Have a great year ahead of you! :)

The day I thought my father died

2010-12-05T22:56:00.000-08:00

My parents and I, and many other relatives went to Korea last week for a family vacation. It was freezing cold, but the sights were amazing.

So we arrived at Everland, Korea's theme park and death land. My dad insisted on taking the roller coasted which was branded the world's steepest and longest death ride.

My dad said he wanted to sit on it as it was his life long dream to do it.

WTF. My 61 yr old dad wasn't even screened at the counter for old age. Stupid staff of Everland.

So, being the filial daughter I am, despite my fear of heights, I decided to accompany him on this death ride. Its better that my dad die next to me than some poor stranger having to realise, at the end of the ride, there was a dead stubborn man next to her/him.

My dad was so stubborn there was no way I could have dissuaded him from taking the death ride.

Normally, one has to only worry about his own safety while on the ride, whereas I, the idiot who loves her parents too much, had to worry about HIS safety and MINE. Argh.

So as the rollercoaster went up it was totally fine and dandy. But when it reached its peak, mind you it was pitch black during winter at 630pm, I realised that the rollercoaster would be taking a 90degree death plunge. That was how steep it was. So when the rollercoaster went down, I felt my heart in my mouth and the gravity of it all had pushed all air out of my lungs. There was no screaming as it was almost impossible. My dad kept exceptionally quiet and I was thinking, FUCK ME DEAD. He's dead.

That was how steep the ride was. The impact must have given him a heart attack. After a few seconds, his head fell on my shoulder.

That reaffirmed my fear of his death. That was the next thing a dead man would do. Fall dead on your shoulder. I've never felt more empty. I've literally killed my dad by allowing him to get on this ride. I've killed him. I've killed him and I could get away scot free. But that wasn't the point. The point was that he was dead.

At a less death terrifying aptitude on the ride, I took the opportunity to scream, "pa, pa! Are you ok?" and to my relieve he screamed out, too, "ok! ok! ok!"

FUCK MY LIFE and thank God almighty he didn't die. The ride wasn't over yet. I reckon it to be about 2 mins long. So after every plunge I screamed out to him to see if he was alive, and thank God, he was.

I must say, at that very moment, that 2 whole minutes, even though I was fighting so hard to keep myself from being flung out of the ride, I was only thinking about my Dad's well being and if he was ok. I couldn't care less if I died, but my dad, I couldn't let him die just like that. I hated myself from being unable to dissuade him from getting on the ride. But as they say, stubborn as a bull/obstinate as an ox. It was unfortunate that he was born in the year of the ox.

And as true as the zodiac of the Ox, my dad was a fit as an Ox. I would think that any other 61 year old WOULD have died of a heart attack on that ride.

As soon as the ride ended, my dad even put up both his hands to give me a high 5. The bloody cheek he has. I'm just glad he didn't die. As I got off, my legs turned to jelly. I kept my eyes closed the whole ride as I knew I couldn't take it. I couldn't take the adrenaline rush and I couldn't take the height. I would have literally burst a brain vessel and died. But knowing that my dad was alive, and have accomplished one of his life dreams was more than enough for me.

When we met up with my mother, I burst into tears as I couldn't hold back the fear of losing a parent. I kept crying and crying as I was so afraid that dad would die and I would inevitably be responsible for his death. My mum got hopping mad at him for being irresponsible, which he was. But what is there to do. He is my father, and it's too old to change him now! I still love him nevertheless.

And here's a token of the ride showing a picture of yours truly peeing in her pants.

Please forgive the double chin. My eyes were shut all the time and there was no time or strength for me to ensure that I was ready for any surprise camera. Sigh.

Dream room

2010-11-22T19:28:00.000-08:00

It'll be a dream come true if in future ( in my home with the husband and the kids etc) if I have a special room allocated for my crafts.

A place where I can go to relax to do my beading work, my quilting, my crafts and painting.

Gosh. Is it too much to ask?

LOL.

A dream is a dream.

Soap & Glory

2010-11-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

Soap & Glory.

I swear by it.

Smells like heaven, works like magic.

These people from UK really are geniuses.

Few more scrubs and those backarm bumps will be gone!

I remember vividly that i scrubbed them away when I was in the UK.

And now sephora has it. OH THE JOY!!!!!!

(and the amount on my CC bills.)

Try it, it really works wonders.

It SUCKS

2010-11-11T18:25:00.001-08:00

because one of the diamonds fell off the diamond ring that you gave. It has been on my finger for the past almost 1.5yrs and I never took it off.

So as I was typing stuff at work I was shocked to see a black dot on my ring and as I peered in to scrutinise abit closer, WTF A DIAMOND FELL OFF.

SCREW YOU LAZO FOR SELLING DIAMONDS WITH BADWORKMANSHIP.

sigh.

oh wells.

Happy Heart

2010-11-08T23:39:00.001-08:00

Happy Heart by Joanna Olivia St Khoo featuring vintage clothing dresses

2010-11-07T22:11:00.001-08:00

At this point in time. I must say, I'm very contented and happy that you're here. And you're just being you.

And that I love you. No matter how crazy I get.

Muah.

2010-11-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

You know why people hardly bully me?

Even though i'm so soft and silly?

HWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWHA

Because my brother will shoot the shit out of you. And he's not afraid to do so!

2010-11-07T19:41:00.000-08:00

TO PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE CHIO/HOT/LENGLUI WNEN THEY CLEARLY ARE NOT.

BEAUTY HAS A SOCIAL STANDARD AND THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN 'OH, SHE'S PRETTY' AND 'OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.'

STOP TILTING YOUR HEADS AND TRYING TO WIDEN YOUR EYES. IT SCARES THE BEJEEZUS OUTTA ME.

STOP DOING ANYTHING UNNATURAL. UNLESS YOU'RE SOCIALLY ACCEPTED AS CUTE AND HAVE LIKE 200 GUYS ADDING YOU EVERYDAY ON FB, THEN FORGET ABOUT IT.

OK, GIVEN I AM A HYPOCRITE AND TILT MY HEAD AND DO ALL THE CUTE STUFF, BUT ITS OK BECAUSE I AM CUTE IN A FAT WAY :D

DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU HAVE DOUBLE CHINS OR OTHER FLAWS.

LOVE THE WAY YOU ARE, AND PEOPLE WILL LOVE YOU TOO.

TRY TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, AND WE'LL ONLY LAUGH AND MOCK YOU.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Women and their sense of smell

2010-11-07T17:42:00.000-08:00

Did you know that a woman chooses her man mainly by his smell and not how he looks?

There was a study once done by a lab and they made these men (ranging from smoking hot to butt ugly) run on the treadmill till they sweat, then swab their sweat on these teddy bears and handed them to the women. Then coming as a shock, not all the women picked the teddy bear sweat belonging to the hot guy! They all picked the ugly guy's sweat! Its just the thing that if the guy is butt ugly, there wont be a chance in hell for the woman to even go near him, furthermore smell his sweat.

Now I'm slightly more grown up and exposed to men, I can safely say, it is all true.

Women are attracted to men smell.

I have a friend who even loves the smell of her man's armpit! That is the extent of it.

Plus I have a few male friends who were model quality and you'd think you'd be attracted to him - its just that his man smell doesnt smell quite right. It doesn't stink, but it just doesnt feel - right.

This doesn't give men the excuse not to shower and just do lunges and smell like sweat all day. We of course love to smell men at their cleanest possible. Of course, cologne is important, but that is only just optional!

I love the salty oily smell on my man's face whenever I press my nose into his cheeks (FACE NOT ASS!).

I dont know. Maybe I'm weird this way!

They say women have better and heightened senses of smell. Like how they can smell their own menses, perfumes off other women, bitches from miles away and how their men are lying their pants off. It's a gift really that men aren't bestowed with.

LOL.

Robin

2010-11-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you, Robin.

The devil spawn of our devil dog, Ting Ting.

Look how cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

You should see batman (Robin's other sister). She's black like her mum and has a white patch above the nose.

2010-11-02T18:16:00.000-07:00

It seems that words have been forgotten after so long. No more sweet nothings. No more sweet texts. No more cute things that couples do at the beginning.

As much as the need for rekindling is needed, the bond is still there and it just gets needier and needier (for me!).

Though the much needed words to be said are little, and the words for anger are in excess, I think I should take some time to tell you how much I really care.

Thank you Donky. For always being there even most of the time you're silent.

Junk Sale

2010-10-31T19:13:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I participated a junk sale along with my friend Kris.

It was a good time to sell all my shit to earn some money to go to Korea. Yes, I'm THAT poor.

ANYWAYs, my brother had to help me carry all my stuff up many stairs, many elevators and many many bags.

Then as he left me there to set up my racks alone, I saw him turn his head back to look at me several times and each time with eyes and face redder than the other.

Then I knew he was worried to leave me there alone.

And my heart went 'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww' cos I knew my big bro loves me alot.

Nyehehehehehehehehe.

Batman and Robin

2010-10-31T18:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't slept in 2 days.

I came home from my friend's son's first birthday and I was shocked to find Tingting playing with a white rat.... which turned out to be her kid.

I WAS LIKE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

So now, she has 2 puppies.

and the puppies is white with black and black with white.

Like HEI BAI WU CHANG. The spirits that ferry your soul to hell.

Not surprised seeing that their mother is part dog, part devil.

And I just had a heart attack sunday when rose was just minding her own business with tingting (probs in motherhood mode) jumped up and bit rose till both her ears were shredded and that part of her mouth was pierced by her own teeth. There was alot of dog screaming, baby screaming, me screaming, my sis in law screaming, my maid screaming etc etc. And alot alot of blood. Like a massacre.

We came to a conclusion that tingting has gone flipping mad with jealousy (shes tied up all the time cos shes crazy) and motherhood agressiveness.

And tingting isn't the most maternal mother. She kept sitting on her puppies neck. well especially the white one, we don't think she likes her that much cos she wasn't like her colour (mix-bred with dalmation).

Oh, and I've decided to name them batman and robin. We'll see when they grow up which name is more suitable for who!

Toodles. I'm off to crankydom.

2010-10-24T22:55:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought I've lost all hope in you, you surprised me with roses!

Thank you.

But it doesnt mean I've forgiven your lazy ways already!

2010-10-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

I am an honest person.

This is the exact (well, near exact) cartoon of me!

See how my belly is round and how big my boobies are?

Ok la, given hair not so long and I don't have a doll cut. But people who see this thinks of me!

And I love wearing flip flops.

And always is spotted with some junk food in my hand.

And I LOVE RIBBONS!!!!

And my face is super round.

nyehehehehehe

Well said.

2010-10-10T19:19:00.001-07:00

"..........................My mother is the darkness of my existence. She has constantly bullied me in her desire to always feel like she’s “better” than me, somehow, and she’ll buy me things as though that makes up for her bullshit. She has always harassed me and yelled at me for being fat (she hates fat people, even if they’re her own children—so much for unconditional love), which only exacerbates my own depression and stress. I just can’t deal with this. I can’t. I hate feeling so downtrodden because of her, and it’s just not healthy for me. I feel like somehow, I’ve subconsciously stayed fat just to spite her for being so overbearing. She won’t let me do so much as breathe without having some negative bullshit to say about it.............."

Well said. Well said.

The Dead Duck

2010-10-08T01:08:00.000-07:00

The Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the Vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done ny testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The Vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan ...."

King Julian

2010-10-07T20:24:00.000-07:00

AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa
AHAHAAHAHah
ahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I couldnt' stop laughing. Because it is that good.

Karma

2010-10-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

My dad forwarded me this mail yesterday.. and I thought it'd be good to share it with everyone...

A woman baked chapati for members of her family and an extra one for a
hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapati on the Window-sill, for
whosoever would take it away. Everyday, a hunchback came and took away the
chapati. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as
he went his way: "The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes
back to you!" This went on, day after day. Everyday, the hunch-back came,
picked up the chapati and uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with
you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The woman felt irritated. "Not a
word of gratitude," she said to herself...

"Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean? "One day,
exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this
hunchback," she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the Chapatti
she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her
hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said Immediately, she threw
the chapati into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window-
sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapati and muttered the
words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to
you!" The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war
raging in the mind of the woman.

Everyday, as the woman placed the chapati on the window-sill, she offered a
prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For
many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return. That
evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised
to find her son standing in the doorway.. He had grown thin and lean. His
garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw
his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile
away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then
an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was
kind enough to give me a whole chapati."As he gave it to me, he said, "This
is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is
greater than mine!" " As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale.

She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapati
that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would
have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then
that she realized the significance of the words:"The evil you do remains
with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

2010-10-05T02:54:00.001-07:00

peace on earth alas! The kittens are saved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

The guy she contracted was so unprofessional and knew jackshit of his job he even dropped the kitten from a height of 10feet.

then as last resort he had to hack a small portion of the wall about d size of my palm to let the kittens out. he was so afraid the kitten would scratch him. WTF??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? WTF is wrong with him and her? WTF. Idiots.

But the damage to the wall was minimal and the kittens are alive. the mother was walking about downstairs looking for them.

Bless their souls.

Those who feel that animals lives are any less than humans should go fuck themselves.

2010-10-04T23:52:00.000-07:00

There are no words to describe how mad I am now.

My secretary, or rather, she prefers to be the boss of me, removed the ceiling headboards when she heard kittens meowing.

She told the contractor to come and remove the kittens, but was only able to grab one and threw it out of the office onto the roads. God bless the kittens soul.

The rest of the kittens unfortunately fell through a hole in the partition, and is stuck in the wall partitions and cant get out. The level is too high for anyone to get down and the hole is too small. The whole office wreaks of cat poo and the cat hasn't ate or drank anything in 2 days. I suspect they are dying already and one may be dead as the smell of poo is really strong.

I tried for 3 hours to get the kittens out but what did you do? You just sat there and yakked and yakked on the phone. fucking hell.

FUCKING BITCH. Doesn't even want to call the contractor and I had to call the contractor myself. And he was reluctant to come.

FUCKING BITCH. Its all your fault. You fucking murderer. Who told you to be a smart alec and remove the ceiling boards?

I hope you burn in hell while you watch me try to rescue the kittens and you yakking on the phone with your friends. I hope you burn in hell.

You deserve to be dead for all the things you've done, instead of the innocent kittens.

Malaysians

2010-10-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

I flip open the newspapers and there is not one page that I go through that racism isn't there.

Racism.

Why has Malaysia gotten till this stage?

Why can't the races get along with each other like Singapore? For obvious reasons I will not mention (here or anywhere for that matter), it is depressing seeing our motherland in this state.

Malaysia is a beautiful country. Without our 3 major races, Malaysia would be nothing. Let's be honest. Each of the races are vibrant and colourful in their culture, history and ways of life. There is no denial of that. And to incorporate all these different things into everyday living - together, makes it even more beautiful.

I have best friends who are Indian AND Malay and I find them amazing and would not wish to be torn apart from them.

There is only one thing that is common in all Malaysians.

All Malaysians are bound by FOOD.

Let me give you a brief description as to why each race plays an important part in our nation's growth.

CENDOL. You tell me which person can resist cendol. Even those patients with bursting cholestrol levels will die for this local dessert (of which origin is unknown to me). Indian, Malays and Chinese. We've all had it, and we all have loved it for what it is. A cold, tasty treat. And we're happy standing under the hot sun slurping on these yummy babies till the last drop of ice.

Cendol is basically made out of ice, santan (coconut milk), red beans (paste), gula melaka, green jelly worm thingys and sometimes pulut.

Ok. We can split this up in terms of ingredients to each race.

Santan comes from the indians (because its usually the indian men who sell them at the market? - zzzz -__-'' don't kill me please! ) they also add lots of it to their delicious curries.

Red beans come from chinese people. red bean mooncake, red bean bun. ice also comes from the chinese i think because of the ice balls back then!

gula melaka - definitely the malays. i think i saw it a few times when i was a kid on tv3 when there weren't many programs in the day so they'd just schedule educational programs such as gula melaka and rubber tapping etc etc.

i believe the pulut and the green worm thingy also comes from the malays- might be wrong, so open for discussion. but everytime i hear d word pulut i think of the malays and their ketupats (YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM)

ANYWAY, this post is getting out of hand because I thought I'd give a witty and charming post on how our 3 races should get along with each other to produce an even better country. But alas it turned out to be cringey. and sad. and pathetic. I am depressed with my own writing skills.It has gone down the drain since my secondary school days. ANYWAY.....

Just like this desert. If is lacking of any ingredient, it'd taste awful definitely. imagine drinking ice with just gula melaka and the other condiments, or pure santan with gula melaka or ice with santan. Everything needs to be combined to get the greatest combination of all. The perfect dessert for such a hot weathered country.

I sincerely hope that all Malaysians will get along with one another. Don't let a matchstick destroy the whole forest. Malaysia has come too long a way to be split apart just like that.

1 Malaysia. 1 Country. 1 Vision.

Lame, I know. I tried to be cool, but didn't come off exactly!

Marriage : predestined or by chance?

2010-09-30T21:27:00.000-07:00

姻缘

Do you think your life partner is predestined for you?

Is the term 'match made in Heaven' even true?
Or is it a term played up by the media to get more hits on air by tugging the heart strings of the more vulnerable?

How will you ever know that he is made for you?

Some cases women think that the perfect man they married is the one made for them because they have fully ticked all the criterias in their box, but realise later in their marriages that perhaps it was not so.

We all know that the world has evolved into such that bread overcomes love.

How will you ever know that you're not making a big mistake? Is there a time period where both parties' true colours are revealed and from there we see if they are still the one? How long is this time period? What if they are such good actors that they only reveal it after marriage and that time you're fucked?

Is it love at first sight? Is that predestined? And by love i mean - know that he'll be with you forever and not i want to rip off his pants.

Is it destiny? Is it by chance? Choice?

I do not know.

How is ti that you truly know that the person is meant for you? Is it when it comes to a marriable age and that if you're still with him then he definitely is the one?

One of life's many unanswered questions.

Do you marry him because he IS the one and you just can't live without him? Or do you marry him because your time is up and that he is able to make do?

hmmmm.....

Bad Singaporean Drivers

2010-09-30T18:50:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was rushing to work (as usual), a Singaporean car made an abrupt stop at the corner of the road that people were supposed to turn in. No fucking signal. And stopped there somemore hoping that someone would reverse the car out? FUCK YOU LA. No parking means move on la! CIBAI.

Then we tried to signal to the right to overtake him, then that fucker also turned to the right. NINABEH. YOUR LICENSE FUCKING KOPI LICENSE ISIT? COME TO MALAYSIA NO NEED TO KEEP A WATCH OUT FOR OTHER DRIVERS? THEN YOU GET INTO ACCIDENT AND SAY THAT MALAYSIAN PEOPLE BULLY YOU?

FUCK YOU LA. CANNOT DRIVE PROPERLY, INCONSIDERATE, YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF AND HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME WHEN YOU FEEL VICTIMISED IN OUR COUNTRIES.

Cibai chinese middle aged man then suddenly made an abrupt stop to the left again searching for parking. LIN LAO BEH, PEOPLE GOT SO MUCH TIME TO PLAY CAR WITH YOU IS IT? FUCKING GIVE SIGNAL AND SLOW DOWN LA. YOU THINK WE PLAYING BUMPER CAR AH? CAR BANG D WONT SPOIL?

kaninabu. make my blood boil early in the morning. pukima.

This is a vulgar blog, i must tragically inform you people who are reading.

When I am mad, it is always for a reason. And obviously very bad drivers are a pet peeve of mine.

Fuck sia.

Dear Singaporeans,

its not that I hate you. But if you drive like fuck in Malaysia, you leave people no choice but to scratch your car, spit on your windows, puncture your tires, and road bully you. Please wisen up and learn to drive properly and be considerate when you are in a foreign country. We are not uncivilised people. Do not think you're more high class than us and that you can bully us.

Do not forget where you came from. most of you once came from Malaysia too.

Kacang lupakan kulit.

Where the hell is my drink????

2010-09-29T02:48:00.000-07:00

Quoting Kay, "WHERE THE HELL IS MY DRINK????"

:)

What is the purpose of pubic hair?

2010-09-29T00:07:00.000-07:00

I used to wonder what the hell pubic hair was for.

It's unsightly and it traps your pee and all that gunk and gives your vagina a funky musky smell.

It's not even serving a purpose like your nostril hair that traps dust.
THERES NO DUST WHEN YOU'RE WEARING PANTIES ALL DAY?! So what the hell it's for?

So. I shave and wax myself.

My mother was appalled at that idea and said one should never shave or wax.

Her reason was, "So when you're raped, the rapist will be so disgusted by your ugly vagina and not rape you!"

WTF -________________-''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Jeremiah 6:16

2010-09-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

The Lord says: Stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the eternal proven reliable ways, Ask which way leads to blessings, the best beneficial way, then walk in it,and you will find rest and peace for your soul.

Jeremiah 6:16

I know that this was meant for me when I read it, because

a) It truly is the question in my heart

and

b) it was taken from 6:16. My birth date.

My soul isn't at peace and I'm at cross roads now. I think its the accumulation over the years of restrained personal growth that made me feel this way. What others want from me. I never truly allowed myself to did want I want, and those who asked from me never allowed me to make a choice of my own.

sigh.

God, if you're listening, please give me a sign that the path I've taken is the correct one.

Please.

7 days

2010-09-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

Queeny.

Its been one week since you passed away. We want you to know that we still think about you all the time. I come to you place and I missed you standing at the gate and barking at me and wagging your tail. I miss taking off my shoes and you running away with it and destroying it. I actually miss you jumping up and scratching the daylights out of me.

There is no way that we don't miss you. Especially your master. Ever since your passing, he couldn't even hold a smile properly and he was always looking sad and lost. Even the arrival of his new car couldnt make him excited over anything.

You must know what difference you made to his life. And we truly hope you're in a much better place now. Like what the others say, all dogs go to Heaven. We hope that your Heaven is filled with shoes, underwear (for you to nom on), bones and everything else that humans eat because you were so picky you didnt want to eat dog food.

Everyone misses you. You made such a difference in our lives.

Eventhough your master is getting a new dog soon, we want you to know that it's not replacing you. There is no other dog that can take the place of your vibrancy and life. It's only to fill that growing empty void in your master's heart that i can't fill.

We miss you.

We hope you're nomming on someones shoe in Heaven and looking down on us and taking care of your master.

He stares at your pictures and his tears just roll down.

It's your 7th day away from us. Please come home for a visit if you can.

We really miss you.

Love always.

2010-09-21T04:54:00.001-07:00

After today's incident I realised how compassionate my boyf was.

And I wonder if I died or anything untoward happened to me, if he'd cry like he did today.

But then I can't compare myself to a dog. We're totally different entities. IF he had a mistress, then perhaps I could compare with that tramp.

Just woke up from a nap. Actually cried myself to sleep.

Going to miss not having a dog bark down the whole house when I go to his place.

Goodbye Queeny

2010-09-21T00:14:00.000-07:00

You know when they say that a dog is a man's best friend?

That shit is true.

And I only thought it happened in the movies.

Today I witnessed what we call the human-animal bond.

Today, Queeny, 8 months, passed away.

She, like many times we taught her, never looked both ways while dashing out of nowhere and KNOCKED into a car.

She foamed at the mouth and then vomitted blood. And then she died.

It was the boyf's dog and he wasn't there for her. He was with me. And when we got there, she had already died. One eye was open still. He was crying and said that she was waiting for him to come home to see her.

Immediately I felt a pang of guilt. Why did I force him to be with me? He could have been there to call her home instead of her wandering alone outside the house. Why did I force him to adopt her from the drains? However she could have been eaten by vietnamese, or knocked down by other cars.

I don't know. Everything seemed to be my fault and I can't stop feeling guilty. The whole time I was trying to console him. He has been crying for 6 hours. He started talking to the camera while looking at Queeny's pictures. He laid on the bed and sobbed. He kneeled beside Queeny's warm body and sobbed while she lay lifelessly on the floor.

I stood next to him, my heart breaking. Watching the love of my life having his heart broken. The dog was his companion. She was there for him when I couldn't. She was there to cheer him up when I wasn't. Basically, she was everything I could not be - She was his best friend. She was there when he went to bed, and was there when he woke up. Although she was only in the family for less than 8 months, she had already become such a big part of his life. He loved her so much. Fed her the best dog food there was.

I cried, not because I loved the dog. Yes I like the dog, but there was no bonding. I hardly ever played with it. I was hardly ever at his place. I cried because I saw him crying. It was MY FAULT that he was crying. Why did I let him get into all these emotional attachment by just doing a good deed ? I'm now sure that if I left the dog alone, other good samaritans would have brought it home and I would have saved the one I love from such heart ache.

He bought a house with a huge garden, just so Queeny could run about in it. Now, it would only be an empty space. He was so upset when we came back from the clinic after paying them to bury her. He sat in the car and said that she would know that he was back, and she would wait for him at the door when he left. She was always there. That made me feel inadequate as a girlfriend, but what is there to do. There was nothing I could do that could even hold a candle to a dog. And that was a fact.

He just cried and cried.

Yes, I had a few encounters with Queeny. She left me several memorable scratches. She killed many of my shoes. She menstruated all over his bed spread and she infected most of the family with ticks. That idiot dog. She was so good at everything - all except watching for traffic. The house wasn't even located on the main road!

She was meant to die. The boyf's mum said that she was blocking some impending disaster and died in its place instead. That made him feel worse. It was like Fatty - my chincilla. You've never heard of that story have you? Well that's cos it died a day after I bought it. I got dengue and I couldnt get out of bed. I knew it died. My dad thought I was going to die because I didnt even move and my fever was skyrocketing. He never even came into my room to see me for that whole week. He was too afriad. I felt guilty that it had to sacrifice its life so I could live. But perhaps that was the way of life.

I knew Queeny loved him very much and would have died for him. It's just so sad when words become reality.

I love Queeny, but I love my boyf more. I've never seen a grown man so upset about an animal. I guess that's the power of having a dog.

It was weird that the dog crashed into the car, rather than the car crashed into the dog. Queeny didn't have any visible wounds. But there was evident internal bleeding. I guess she gave her life to save his.

I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better. But there really isn't.

For once in my life, I really don't know what to do.

Last night we even played with her before I left. We had so much fun. She's gone. Just like that.

Goodbye Queeny. Thank you for keeping your master company. I know you're in Heaven now, but please keep a look out for him and keep him safe. I love you.

How a baby's name can ruin his/her life

2010-09-20T01:47:00.000-07:00

Ok. We've got to face it. We live in an asian country so our pronounciations all fucked up. PLEASE for the LOVE OF YOUR CHILD, don't give them names where it can ruin their lives.

Here's a few examples.

Nolan - means Chariot-fighter, champion
But in Asian countries, the older people, or the uneducated ones, or the ones who just want to take a piss out of his name, will call him NO-LAN. LAN = Dick ok! Means, he'll be no-dick. Boy, I want to see the guy who grows up being called no dick all the time!

Kendall -Exalted effigy
Such a beautiful English name. But in Msia and Sg, people will start calling her Candle. -_-'' Please. People here aren't sophisticated enough to accept this name!

Maddox - Good and Generous
While Angelina Jolie's adopted Asian son can be called that (because his family is classy), people here will only call him a Mad Ox. It's worse if he was born in the year of an Ox, and even more unfortunate if he has an explosive temper.

Mario - God of Mars
Whereas many celebs are called Mario because of their italian descents, people here will definitely think you're a short italian cartoon character who is always out desparately trying to save your princess peach, who is ALWAYS unforunately in another castle!

Miranda - She who must be admired
I got to admire this name when I watched Sex and the City. Miranda was this strong beautiful lawyer friend of stupid Carrie Bradshaw. She is gorgeous and funny. But here, when you say Miranda, people will say, Orange. Or Strawberry.

Maggie - Means Pearl
Short for Margret. Beautiful name. But here, when I say Maggie, you say............................? I guess you know the answer already!

Colby
One of the more popular names now. But Colby only sounds like dog fart in mandarin. >_<

Madelyn
Another beautiful english name which I wanted to name my daughter when I was a little kid. Then as I repeated that name several times, it started to turn out like 'meddling'. I definitely don't want a meddling child! :(

I guess this is enough to show everyone that not every name is suitable for asian kids! Please choose properly. A name can make or break a life!

How to choose the gender of your unborn child!

2010-09-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

Did you know that you could choose your baby's sex before actually conceiving them? I used to hear my mum gossip to aunties about it, but when asked she said that I'm a kid and I shouldnt know! And guess what, now that I've asked her again, she again refused to tell me so! OMG. I'm still a kid in her eyes :(.

Anyway, with the technology of google! I have found the most ridiculous ways of choosing the sex of your kids!

For couples who are planning, enjoy!!!!

You're more likely to conceive a boy IF :

You have sex on the day of ovulation , as male sperm are thought to swim faster and reach the egg first

you reach orgasm before your partner, as this releases an alkaline fluid, thought to be more male-sperm friendly than the vagina's natural acidity

you have deep penetration during sex, such as from behind (doggie style)

your partner has a high sperm count. This is because male sperm are not as strong as female sperm, and so the higher the count, the more chance there is of a male sperm reaching the egg first

you avoid sex for a week before ovulation and then only have sex once on ovulation day, to keep the sperm count high

your partner suggested the love-making

you make love at night

you make love on odd days of the month

your partner keeps his genitals cool by wearing boxer shorts and loose-fitting trousers

you eat salty food, plenty of meat, fish, white flour, pasta, fresh fruit, certain vegetables, but avoid milk and dairy products, such as yoghurt and cheese, nuts, chocolate, shellfish and wholemeal bread.

Dads-to-be: Stock up on soda (especially cola drinks).

Gals, sleep to the left of your partner.

Make love when there’s a quarter moon in the sky.

Follow the compass — one of our users swears that pointing the woman’s head north while you make love guarantees a boy.

You're more likely to conceive a girl IF:

You have sex earlier on in your cycle, a few days before your day of ovulation. This is because female sperm are thought to be stronger and therefore last longer than male sperm, who will die off before reaching the egg

your partner reaches orgasm before you

you have sex frequently to lower your partner's sperm count, and so increase the chances of the female sperm reaching the egg first

you keep penetration shallow

you stop having unprotected sex four to five days before ovulation, to minimise the chances of the male sperm reaching the egg first

your partner keeps his genitals warm by wearing close-fitting underwear and tight trousers (although this isn't likely to do his general fertility any good!)

you suggested the love-making

you make love in the afternoon

you make love on even days of the month

you put a wooden spoon under your bed and a pink ribbon under your pillow

you drink plenty of milk and eat dairy products such as cheese and yoghurt, unsalted foods, rice, pasta, certain vegetables, mineral water, limited amounts of meat and potatoes, but avoid salt and any salty foods, wine and beer, fresh fruit, spinach, tomatoes and mushrooms, chocolate, coffee and tea.

Give in to your chocolate craving (or just eat sweets in general).

AND, theres also a gender calculator if you're interested!

Gender Calculator

Helps u calculate which month you want to do it to have a certain sex of a child!

Have fun!

The Notebook

2010-09-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

If I had to vote for the most romantic movie of the century, it'd be The Notebook. The people who crazily voted for it as one of the most romantic movies was correct. It is indeed the best, heartwrenching movie I've ever watched. Not such a good idea at 1130pm and when you have to work the next day.

Ok la, given it was a bit boring at the beginning (I've watched it 2 times, but cried nevertheless both times). I actually personally felt that the old couple did a better job at acting than the young couple. I don't know why. perhaps the years that made their love as strong was the sentimental romantic part that I was crying about.

So ok, the young couple was torn apart for years, then got back together and lived happily ever after... till she got dementia. She had to be admitted in the old folk's home, and he admitted himself in there as well, just to be with her.

That's where the sad part comes in. She drifts in and out for minutes sometimes, her memories come back and go. Her husband would always read the story to her everyday, a story that she wrote of them when they were young and all the things they did, bla bla bla. And then she'd come back from her dementia and remember him. Once suddenly, while they were dancing, her dementia struck and she was shocked at why he called her darling and then she went into panic and started screaming till the docs had to poke a needle in her. It was heartbreaking watching her husband watching her and cry.

Then one day, he had a heart attack, and the wife was so lost without him. Later at night he snuck into her room and they had a cuddle, and she asked if their love was strong enough to take them away together. And they passed away that night.

Fuck me dead. That was the saddest thing ever. Cried till my eyes were swollen today.

Go watch it. I swear the movie is even better than my synopsis of it!

Computers are definitely FEMALE

2010-09-13T01:40:00.000-07:00

When I saw this, immediately I know that if the computer had a genitalia, it'd be a woman.

Putting this into reality, doesn't that sound familiar?

We get hopping mad with the bfs and they have NO FREAKING IDEA what the hell went wrong and kept trying to guess as we kept refusing to tell them, in hope that they'd know!?

FAT HOPE. THEY NEVER KNEW WHAT THEY DID WRONG AND NEVER KNOW.

See, men and women operate in the darndest ways that one can imagine. It is true when they say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus because we don't understand each other, at all.

Like how they don't understand floral patters, polka dots, we don't understand the need for computer games and the fantasy of half naked women pillow fighting.

Our wants, our needs , are all different from men.

We are extremely unreasonable people, you got to admit it. We always want everything and expect them to know everything (inside our head). But the sad part is, they don't have a clue. Hence they always end up buying us TERRIBLE PRESENTS when unguided.

Miscommunication is the key to the mother of all arguments. you get mad, he gets mad, everyone gets mad. Then the whole thing explodes and there would be the meltdown.

So women, tell your man wtf they did wrong, and save yourself a load of tears and trouble. Men are all literal. When you say nothing is wrong, they'd take the surface value and your whole plot to make him dig for more out of you will backfire miserably in your face.

What happened to all the nice guys

2010-09-12T20:26:00.001-07:00

If you're single, been hurt and thinking "WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE NICE GUYS?", heres an answer for you, and also an answer to my post below.

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

Unfavourable wives?

2010-09-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

I have many hot lady friends (over the age of 32) who have everything. Career, cars, cards, fashion, invites to the hottest parties, guys. However, one thing is missing in the picture.

They lack a boyfriend, or more so, a permanent and stable life partner.

They are hot, they are glamourous, they work hard and they party even harder. On facebook I see their pictures turning up on every party there is in town.

Then the mother of all question strikes again,

ARE ALL WOMEN WHO PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR THE LEAST FAVOURED AMONG MEN TO BE WIFES?

Well, let's face the fact. The men may oogle at (and sometimes touch) you when you're out in clubs and in pubs, but when they go home, they want to to see their wifes scrubbing floors, wringing clothes and making their beds. Life is cruel. So are men.

I doubt men want their women to be competing other men over who's the better drinker, or getting their groove on the dance floor like Britney Spears, or getting so drunk you're unconscious. Its not good for their ego, not good for your image, and basically not good for you. You're supposed to be the mother of someone's child (eventually) and also someone's wife. No man wants to hear that the whole club did his wife in the toilet of the club, nor a child wanting to hear his or her mum having slept with all the other kids' dads and also being called a hooker. Its the cold hard truth, and I may be condemned for saying it, but shit happens, and the truth will always be the truth and YOU KNOW that people will talk anyway - more so in Asian countries.

If you're over 30, still in clubs and pubs 5 days out of 7, single, and still very hot (you may be wondering why you're hot and still single), please wake up. Men want to come home to wives, not someone they have to worry everytime you go out, whether other men will hit on you, whether you'll embarrass him or both. It's the cold hard fact that men WANT FACE. They are these egoistical creatures that have insatiable desires for having the pristine wife that scrubs and mops floors all day long.

You may be 30 now, but its a slippery slope into spinsterhood from here. 1 yr turns into 2, then 5 in a slip of an eye. Then you'll be 35 and still single (which is quite ok if you're very liberated, but not so much in Asian countries. People here are so traditional still) and wondering where your life went when you see your girl friends having 2 kids and complaining about stretch marks that never go away. Then you'll loudly say that you thank god you don't have 2 big burden to take care of, still keep your figure and all your stretchless skin when secretly within you're crashing inside thinking how you wish you belonged somewhere with people who need you to survive in life (eg, hubby, kids).

The men you'll meet will most definitely 95% be all bastards who are looking for a good time. And you may be on the other hand thinking, oh, he's nice, maybe.......NO! Men who go to clubs to meet women only want women for a nice time. All he's thinking is "OHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHH" Wedding bands fall off and come on again when the timing is correct. Do not trust men you meet in clubs to be single, or honest, or honest to you. It's like believing the man who said he has candy in the van, but you have to enter the van first to get it. Then you get cheated and used and then you start lamenting all the men on earth on what pure pricks they are bla bla bla bla bla, when at the first place, 10 yrs ago, you met them, but you screwed them over, time and again. And then sadly, you lost your chance to ever get married.

Men and clubs are the worst combination. Its something about the alcohol, smokes and the environment which makes them roll over the next morning and tell you, " I don't think we should see each other again/who the fuck are you?/ shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit/ I'm married and my wife is coming home today/ get the fuck out of my house/ thank you". Likelihood of them asking you out for food and more sex is also possible, you may be known as the booty call, or poontang. But. You have to keep in mind that MAYBE you may meet a good guy at a club, but he will definitely not bed you the first night he sees you. A proper gentleman first dates you out, buys you expensive dinner, and then attempt to bed you. That order.

I used to be a party goer to be honest. I partied from Monday till Sunday. Having only a break when I'm too hungover. I was 21. Then I realised that all men that came after me only wanted sex. Of course that wasn't in my agenda. That's not in all women's agendas. They want stability, they wan to belong somewhere, they want someone to take care of them. Then I realised that I shouldn't party so hard anymore. So I stopped drinking. It's been 2 years since I stopped drinking, and I still have the occassional drink every now and then to get the 'high' feeling, but I really try to stop it. It's good for my liver, good for my heart and basically everything else. The bf feels safer (in all senses) that I'm at home doing practically nothing but messing up my room and buying clothes online (which he partially funds for).

But its ultimately good for your health. Less smoke, less drink, less chances of meeting with accidents on the streets late at night. You're what the risk management people call the 'high risk investment' - not many people go for it.

This may somewhat come as a controversial topic in which feminists out there would berate me like hell, but who gives a shit. I'm only giving my honest thoughts, in my own blog, to people who sincerely want to settle down. Another advise would be to stop finding people out of your league, but thats another story for another time.

This is a disclaimer though, if I've offended you in any possible way, I apologise. What I write here does not mean it was targeted at you.

So the moral of my post would be : STOP PARTYING SO HARD AND GET INTO THE KITCHEN AND LEARN TO BAKE SOMETHING. THAT'S YOUR JOB, WOMAN.

Ultimately, there are only 2 groups of women. Women men marry, and women who men play around with. So which group are you? If you are (and honestly feel so) that you're the latter group, it's time to rethink your priorities, and start planning your life (unless you're honestly completely happy being single and still partying like a cougar when you're 43). I hope this serves as a wake up call for women who think they can party forever. You can not.

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I figured that this post may gather some angry comments from my readers so I've also decided to lump in another section I'd like to call "Dreaming too far".

It's simple. Are you hot? Are you wife quality? Are you pleasant tempered and gentle? Are you kind and giving? If you're not, please don't expect men who look like someone from a Korean drama to fall onto your lap and fall in love with you!

If you don't look like Cinderella, or can do household chores like her, don't expect a Prince Charming!

We have to evaluate ourselves, and find someone who is in our league. I always have this tactic of choosing someone from the crowd who fancies the shit out of me. That way, I wouldn't face the possibility of a rejection! (Yay for my ego boost!)

Very likely women who still remain single at 35 and above are because :

-they've been divorced - don't want to go through that shit again

-widowed - my condolences (no choice lah that one)

-they have 9 cats.

-still waiting for THE ONE. wtf?
If you're still waiting for THE ONE, you would have met him at a marriable age 18-33. HELLO? You ok boh? at 35 you still looking for THE ONE? Don't dream lah. You've already passed him several years ago. You were just looking at the wrong crowd of guys. Wouldn't God have planned someone for you at the most reproductive age, than let you meet him when your eggs have already dried up?

Just settle lah, it's always better to have someone than no one. But when I say have someone, I don't mean :

-alcoholics
-cheating bastards
-drug addicts
-gamblers
-wife beaters
-lazy bastards
-gays (well they can be quite good company!)
-sex addicts
-rapists
-any other funky attributes.

*DISCLAIMER : Written under very bored circumstances. These are all pure shit I'm writing. Lighten up, don't be mad! nyehehehehe!

Waiting...

2010-09-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I'm impatiently waiting for him to ask me the question?

Ern turns 1

2010-09-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

For Ern's 1st birthday, I made her fondant icing ducks to decorate on her cake.

Took me the whole night to figure out and then make some more little ducks

But it was worth it.

That's how much I love my niece :)

Can't wait till I start doing it for me kids.

Straight men and fashion

2010-09-11T05:35:00.000-07:00

Was shopping with the boyf yesterday and I made the biggest discovery of the year.

That my boyf was definitely not gay. Well that's not the main point. The main point, leading me have this revelation was that he said something that got me pissing mad and puzzled at the same time.

I asked him about several outfits that were floral, polka dotted, stripped etc. He commented simply, " I don't think ANY men understand those patterns". That would be true if all men were straight. But the thing is, there are gay men. And GAY men KNOW about floral patterns etc. So this became my test factor to see if any other men had gay tendencies (doesn't mean they ARE gay, just that they have the genome that makes them lean closer to that).

He went on to say that MEN (straight men, I'm assuming at the moment, cos he's just simply an amoeba, one channel minded), only know sexy, conservative, cute (he also mentioned there was no such thing as cute, i don't know how that conversation went). So the cuttings of the dress were very important, and not so much of the motifs on the dress.

So through that my observation was that if the men had a few comments on the patterns on the fabric, its only because they're metrosexual (if they're not full fledged gay). Gay men have very good taste in fashion, and hence I can say that my boyf's not gay because what he wears are mostly crimes of fashion.

Anyway, just puzzled as he has no comments as to what I choose to wear, but more so of the length of it. Too short a skirt, NO. Maxis - NO. Skinny jeans - YES. Conservative clothes - YES. Oh well.

But, he did make a plus point when he bought me the heart shaped weaved wicker basket inspired handbag. It's very chic (I'm not saying vogue, cos it's not vogue standard, but good enough for me!).

Did you know big rings are making a come back? I'm so totally rocking the big ring fashion now! :D Will try to post some pics of the rings and bag up soon. Muahahahhaha.

What I think about Sex and the City

2010-09-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

To be honest, I love Sex and the City. The shows are great, the characters are vibrant and most of their fashion is good.

I've got to say that I don't take too kindly to what Miss Carrie Bradshaw has to say or wear.

She's the most insignificant character on the show and the more she tries to make it all about her, the more i find that i want to know about the rest of her very interesting friends.

She's neither here nor there. She has no stand, no morals in life, no fashion sense.

She wears the worst clothes, shoes, dates the worst men (except Aidan) and she writes the biggest bullshit. She gives women all hopes that by wearing terrible clothes and buying crazy expensive ugly shoes and walking 7 blocks, everything is fine. The thing is, no one can walk more than 5 blocks on those Manolo Blahniks. Who the fuck buys 50 pairs of Manolo Blahniks and has no money to even buy her own apartment? I guess its someone who write a weekly column next to adverts for penile dysfunctions. I have to say that everyone has to be involved in her problems and she gets freaking mad at people who don't want part of it. As if its her goddamn right to make people think that she's the most important character on the show!?

Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. These 3 I like, and I secretly feel that the show gets so many ratings because of them. I don't think anyone will tune in to watch a middle aged lady, falling in love with someone wrong, then letting him fuck her around, then break up, then meet a good guy, then treat him like dog crap then leaving him, then cheating on him, then wanting him back again, then telling him that she can not never see Big because he's a part of her life, at the expense of losing the possible "great man" of her life. bla bla bla bla bla. She angers me, but fortunately, I have the other 3 to rely on.

I must say, charlotte, miranda and samantha has one of the best fashion sense. They really inspire me with all thier colourful and bold ways (yet pleasing to the eyes) and that the fact that they have strong life principals and sticks to them. Yes, Charlotte has a stick up her ass most of the time, Samantha is a renowned slut and Miranda has issues, but none of them are as bad a Carrie.

Miss carrie, everything has to be about her. Why does she always wear nothing but a bra, or something over her that she might as well not wear because i can still see her god damn bra?! WTF? And wtf, why the hell does everyone's boobies appear on the shows except hers? Are her breasts ridiculously ugly or what? wtf?

Ok fine, just cos she produced that show, doesn't mean that she should over shadow others. In fact, I think the others are doing a better than she is. In life, in the fashion industry and on tv.

Still love the show though. Muahaha!

Cat love

2010-09-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

hmmmmmmmm.

If only love is as simple as cat love!

But still, gives me a reason to go awwwww :D

How to lose weight effectively

2010-09-07T05:53:00.001-07:00

1) Stop eating like fucking pig

The less you eat the less fats stored in your body. That's pretty much the most straight forward advise that I could give you. Stop grabbing that extra french fry thats lying in front of you. You don't need it to fill your empty soul.

2) You don't need condiments with your food.

Theres no need for salt, ketchup, mayo or anything else that makes the food taste humane. Yes. People on diet eats food that tastes like shit. If you're enjoying your food and its tasty, you're doing it the fucking wrong way.

3) Stop eating Kentucky Fucking Fried Chicken.

Or Macdonalds, or any other fast food for that matter. Anything that comes to your hands and plates within 2 minutes is fucking bad for you. Anything that takes an hour to cook over a slow fire is good. Remember, fried chicken bad. Caveman food, GOOD.

4) Practice cannibalism

You don't see any fat cannibals do you?

5) Start have sex. ALOT.

Sex burns off alot of calories. Don't give me that missionary bullshit. If you're on your back, you're not losing fat.

6) Stop drinking all those sweet drinks.

Anything sweet is bad. BAD. Anything is bitter is good. Sour is best.

7) Eat lots of lemons and chillis.

They are reputed to burn off fats.

8) Stop sitting on your fucking arse and start doing exercise.

You don't do any fucking exercise you don't lose any fucking weight. Simple as that.

9) Get depressed.

Most depressed people lose weight. I on the other hand, gain weight. If you're anything like me, you're screwed because you ultimately know life is depressing anyway.

10) Buy tiny clothes.

Squeeze your fats into the most imappropriate places and allow people to mock and scorn you. Your shamed self will automatically want to lose the weight.

11) Be anorexic, or bullemic.

It works wonders!

12) Fall in love with the most superficial fuck you can find.

The power of love can make you do all the impossibles.

Obviously you can see that I've failed miserably in losing weight effectively because I have failed in achieving any of those.

This is just a freaking mock up of the pointers to lose weight effectively because I'm sick and tired of my residual fats still sitting on my uber hot body. MUAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA. Rubbish. I'm just super bored.

Toodles!

Couples & Arguments

2010-09-06T23:39:00.001-07:00

Couples, have you ever had such epic arguments with each other that makes you want to rip their faces off and then scatter salt over their rawly exposed flesh? I know I have.

My arguments with bunny usually involves raging hormones (not in the good way), his stubbornness, my stubbornness, his stupid remarks, my stupid rebuttals and the fact that we both are trying to prove we're right.

The conversation usually ends with threats of breaking up, replies of confirmations of breaking up, and slamming of phones.

Then after a minute the phone rings again (usually me calling to screw him up to continue the story). I'm a tough girl friend, I have to admit. I'm usually quite bad 2 weeks in a month, usually when I'm ovulating and when I'm on my menses. So he has to endure 2 weeks of my shit.

On most normal days I'm pretty subdued, but once it hits the 2 weeks mark, all my shitty symptoms start coming in. Mum says that PMS is only make believe and there never was PMS hocus pocus during her time (circa 1950s). OH WELL, people flew to the moon, things get discovered, women unveils another secret to bitchiness aloud by creating this PMS syndrome shit so we can all blame the hormones for fucking others up.

Ok, anyway. Right. I'm a terrible gf. I have to be honest. I just get so mad and unreasonable most of the time, I feel ashamed of it. And yes, I'm aware of my actions but I just want it that way so badly. Some say I'm spoilt. I'd like to say that I'm opinionated in what I want (another bullshit way of covering up that I'm spoilt). And to be fair, I only get blinded by anger and madness when its something to do with my family or someone I love, eg. bunny (or any other ex boyfriends for that fact).

I'm always hopping mad over the smallest things (to him) and he finds me crazy. But what he doesnt understand is that the smallest things to men always means the most to women. Right? Please correct me if I'm wrong. But we all know all the smallest things and gestures always mean more than most big gestures. Men don't get it. They're so dumb I truly now believe that their brains are filled with shit.

For me, most arguments that are epic usually involve money and jealousy (usually my fault). I know I know. I should lay back, but sometimes one thing leads to another and its just a meltdown!

After 30 minutes of verbal abuse hurled at each other, we usually go to bed, all emotionally drained from the personal attacks on each other, only to wake up hoping that we still love each other (this is what I feel, totally unsure if he wakes up thinking of me at all!) hahahaha.

But yes, eventually we would apologise to each other, not because we were wrong (we were both right in our reasonings), but because we treasured each other more than proving who was right. I guess many couples do this, but I have noticed several couples breaking up because both of them have prides. It's just a waste of what could have been when you set your ego aside and realise that you might lose someone important in your life just because you didn't want to lose in an argument.

For sure there would be even more epic arguments to come in our future. However, we both realised that the only reason why we got spanking mad at each other was because that we cared alot. And that's how the cookie crumbles.

Teachings to my Children

2010-09-03T00:58:00.000-07:00

In lieu to the fact that I'd be having children in years to come (in God's Grace), there are some teachings that I have to instill in them. Things that I've attained, things I've failed to which was due to years of habit and that the fact that I was the product of my environment.

1) Humility. Everyone has to be humble, no matter how far you climb in life. When you're rich, or smart, or anything that everyone praises you to be of, you have to be humble. When you're poor, you have to be humble. No use being proud when you're not rich.

2) You must always give thanks to people who helped you and even though they failed to give you what you wanted, you must always thank them anyway. For they have given you their efforts and will. It does not kill to say 2 simple words of thank you.

3) No use being proud and cocky when you're beautiful. Beauty can only bring you so far in life. It is an added bonus, but it is not everything. Not everyone is superficial and would give in to your whims and fancies when you're beautiful.

4) You have to look far and look beneath the exterior of the person you're going to marry. Do not marry someone because he is handsome. But only marry him when he shows qualities of a good husband and a good father. You have to foresee in near future if he is going to play an active part in the family you'll soon create together.

5) My dear daughter, do not marry a rich man's son when he himself isn't hardworking. Remember that the wealth only lasts not more than 3 generations. And remember they are more spoilt than normal men and would have more vices than the normal men. If you're able to tolerate these personalities, by all means. But if not, a normal man (hardworking still included), is more than enough.

6) Do not force destiny and fate. If its yours its yours. If its not yours, don't force it.

7) Do not break up people's family, no matter how much you want the person, or how suitable that person is for you. You will go to hell for this. Do not get entangled with married men and then break up his/her family just to be with you. No good will come out of this.

8) My dear daughter, do not be someone's mistress. I can't stress this enough. Yes, you'll get everything that his first wife can't have, but remember, you'll always be no.2 in life, and in the society's eyes. You will be scorned and shamed. Do not do this to yourself. When judgment day comes, you'll be fucked. It's only ok for someone to be the second wife, when the first wife has divorced him (not because of you), or has passed away. But either way, it is always better to find someone who has always been single. That way he'd have less emotional baggage and shit for you to handle.

9) Do not worry. When it's time to worry, it's time to worry. This is something that I've failed in life to do. I always worry beforehand and things get messy from there. I worry about the smallest things on earth. This has been passed down from my mother, and you'll most likely get it too. But I hope from young, I'd be able to teach you to be calm and open and only start worrying when you're faced with it.You have no idea how brain cells have died when I start worrying for nothing.

10) Do no evil. Do not talk bad about anyone. Only talk of the good. For whatever bad things that come out of your mouth will come back one day and bite you in the ass. There is no benefit for you to talk bad about anyone. But a good word may save a person's life. Remember that.

11) Karma. Remember what goes round comes around. You may not get the retribution.But perhaps it'll get to your closest loved ones, and I swear it will be more painful to watch your loved ones get it, than you suffering it.

12) Be grateful. To everything and everyone. Always give thanks and remember the person who has helped you before. Do not make use of a person and ditch them when you've finished using them. That is the wrong thing to do in life, and that many people are doing it. I myself am reminding myself to always be grateful to the people who have helped me.

13) My dear daughter. Do not nag at your husband. Give him his space and give him plenty of understanding. One day your nagging will lead him to leave you and cheat on you, or worse out of anger, hit you. Keep your lips tight, and only say good things to him. Try to rephrase your words and channel your advises in a positive way. Men don't take criticisms well. I learnt it the hard way.

14) My dear son, do not hit women. No matter how angry you are. Do not hit them. You can scream and shout. But do not raise your hand.

15) Do not dabble too much in gambling, smoking, taking drugs and drinking. It will cost you your family and your life. Family is all you'll ever have.

16) Do not borrow from loan sharks. In fact, if its possible, refrain from borrowing money from anybody. No one should know that you're a broke ass. The loan sharks will kill you, or worse, your family.

17) My dear daughter, it is more important to be a good wife and mother than being a career woman. When you work too hard in life, you might turn back to find that you've missed all opportunity to see your children grow up, or to pay attention to your husband or worse, marry at all. Life is about family and children. That is how it was meant to be. Let the men bring home the bacon. You can always be his adviser. If he truly loves and respects you, he'll give you the chance to voice out your opinions in helping improve what he does.

18) Do not trust your spouse/bf/gf 100%. Always leave 10% to yourself. You will not know when they'll hurt you.

19) Paranoia ruins everything. Try to bring some sense and logic into your thinking. I am still trying to cope with this. It's an unexplainable behaviour.

20) Always be generous. There is no point being stingy. The richest person is the person who gives the most, even if you're not literally rich.

21) Don't bother holding someone's balls when he's rich. He'll know you're only doing that because he's rich and he will either take advantage of the fact that he knows you're willing to do anything so that he can be affliated with you, or he'd despise that you only want his wealth and influences and that everything you ever plan will back fire. Help those who are in need. When they are out of the woods, they will remember you for life. That is what matters the most.

22) Always respect the elders. Always be courteous, polite and helpful, even when they're assholes most of the time. Bite your tongue and refrain from pissing the elders off. Me and your father is ok. You can talk back to us, but only with reason and logic, and not out of sheer anger. You are the product of us, and if you make other people unhappy, you will shame us, that we did not bring you up well.

23) My dear daughter, for the first few months of you dating your boyfriend, NEVER enter his room alone. Always sit in the living room, where his parents can see you. I did not bring you up so hard so that other people can call you a loose wanton. Always be familiar with the family and that they are comfortable with you, and then you can enter his room alone. Remember that. The first impressions are the most important.

24) Always treat people with respect. How you treat people outside reflects who you are. You won't go far in life if you don't show respect to anyone.

25) Always remember that everyone plays a part in life. Do not look down on people just because they are holding jobs lower than you. Do not mock toilet cleaners. For without them, you'll have to bear with unhygenic toilets in which you might contract some weird disease that makes your penis drop off or that your vagina starts oozing funny stuff. Do not mock garbage collectors, without them you'd wake up to the smell of your rubbish bin, everyday for the rest of your life. You'd be living with maggots and flies. And you'll be susceptible to things like salmonella, cholera and e.coli. No one is more superior than the other. You are all equals in this life.

26) My dear daughter, please remember that even though you're smart, do not show it - excessively. Not many people can accept the fact that a woman is smarter and more dominating than a man. And my dear son, please don't be a show off, especially if you're an empty vessel. People will laugh at you behind your back and you won't go far in life.

27) Do not judge people by their looks. But by how they treat people.: with humility, respect, gentleness and kindness.

28) Control your temper and bite your tongue. What is said cannot be unsaid. You will not regret this advise.

29) My son, do not philander. Even though it runs in the family, refrain from doing it. Your cock does not need to meet so many women.

30) My dear daughter, do not give up your virginity so quickly. At least wait till you're 21. And remember to use lots of protection!

31) My dear son, do not marry a woman just because she is beautiful. When she gets older, she has to be some sort of benefit to you. Be it helping you in your business, or being a good homemaker. Do not marry a woman whose only beautiful and sucks money from you like a leech. You will not earn money that fast to let her suck. And she will suck you dry, and not in a good way. When she gets old, you'll realise that she is good for nothing and IF she doesn't bear you a child, you can dump her. Yes, your mother is that realistic.

32) Learn to save money. My grandfather once told my mother, and my mother told me, it doesn't matter how much you earn, if you can't learn how to save, you're fucked.

33) Do not be greedy. Enough is enough.

34) Refrain from killing, unless it attacks you eg. mosquitoes etc. If it's there and it does you no harm, leave it alone.

35) Do not steal. You do not need to resort to doing that. We're are not dirt poor, and even if we're poor, we have dignity.

36) At the end, the race is only with yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. You would not know what they're going through.

37) Remember you do not need many friends, only a handful is enough to get by.

38) Remember that people are ALWAYS judging you. Always put on your best front and don't give them any room to find fault in you. Always be neutral and side no one. This will save you alot of trouble.

39) Do not engage yourself in politics of any sort. It is time wasting and you won't benefit from it, unless you're the mastermind of it all and benefit from all the monopolizing. If you're just doing it for the fame and not for the good of the country and society, please. Do not associate yourself with all these fiasco.

40) Do not step on people and ruin their lives on your way up. Remember when you come down, you have to meet them again. Always rethink your steps to take in life.

41) My dear son, when you're married please refrain from all the night life activities. remember you have a wife and family at home waiting for you. Go home and be with them. Life is short. Remember that.

42) Stay away from get rich schemes/multi level marketing. In the end you'll lose more money than you earn. And you'll lose everyone close to you. They will run away from you as if you're the plague.

43) Always have compassion and empathy. Do not be cold hearted. When you're in the person's position, you'll be praying that he'd have compassion and empathy too.

44) When your father and I are old, please do not throw us in the old folks home. Remember that when you were young that we were always there for you. Please always be there for us. And when we're naggy, don't fight us, just listen and try to understand. we'll forget it in a while when we get much older. And we won't be with you forever. We never found you a nuisance when you were young, please do not find us unbearable when we're old. We gave you everything we could. We now only need your time and love. Nothing else.

Rambles of nothing

2010-09-03T00:37:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously thinking of opening classes for lil kids who wants to learn arts and craft, piano and english.

I personally feel that it would help me with my emotional growth and over all as a human being contributing to the society.

All these 9-6 rat race of life just makes me realise that it's not worth it, its not what I want, and its not fulfilling.

It's stressful, I have to face shit, pick up other people's shit and clean them.

I've always wanted to teach, but my mother strongly disagrees against it as it's not as glamourous as being a high flying lawyer who can spit on people. Irony, she's a teacher herself.

My job isn't glamorous. I'm not upholding peace NOR justice. Instead, I'm just helping people claim money after being involved in personal accidents. Not that it isn't fulfilling, it is at some point. But when you know that you earn peanuts when your boss draws about 100k a month from your hard work, it just feels like child slavery. Plus you have to face with all these disgruntled (rightly so) people everyday with missing limbs etc.

My job pays the bills (barely), and I can't complain so far but I'm not exactly over the moon and head and heels in love with my job. Hopefully the boss will see that I'm freaking poor and can't even afford to have a car.

ANYWAY. wonder whats the market like out there for parents who wants their kids to acquire some creativity and aesthetic skills? I would love to teach english too to kids up to SPM or O Levels. I'm good enough for that. Plus, I can also teach piano la, but thats only on the side for people who aren't interested in taking exams. I can't be arsed to sit for the damn qualifying paper to teach people and register them for exams. I think having a Grade 8 in ABRSM suffices for that.

Aiya, boils down to me being a lazy ass and not wanting to see people's face when I work la (no one wants to be subject to anyone's superiority at work, but SHIT HAPPENS anyway).

However, I'm extremely diligent when it comes to making breakfast and waking up super early to cook for the one I love. I love being at home and generally tidying the house and decorating it. people who have seen my room would beg to differ. But that's different. I'm only able to extent my creativity in my small room and not to the whole house. And my room's too small to contain my shit! HAHAHAHA.

Aih. It's friday. I've totally lost all energy to work. Good thing Jessabella's post came in today, I got my dress for Ern's birthday tmr! I will be making her a buttercream fondant cake with white icing, pink ribbon and lil yellow ducks! Plus I previously had already been to Chinatown and gotten her some birthday decorations and balloons etcetc. I'm such a great aunt. Hopefully next time she grows up she'll be close to me and take care of me when I'm old! Hahahahahahaha.

I would love to have a daughter next time, then I can dress up her and teach her all the good values in life and instill in her that it's better to be more of a housewife than a career woman. It's not good to have stress in life, the side effects will eventually kill you! Hahaha.

Have to start making her little fondant ducks tonight. Wish me luck!!!!

Women, Know this!

2010-08-17T19:06:00.001-07:00

There's several things that lots of ladies out there failed to realise. I'm here to break it gently to you :

a) Don't act so haolian when you're carrying your LV, Gucci, Ted Baker etc etc etc. No one cares if you're carrying a branded bag and they might even suspect you buying contrabands so if you're humble and carrying a branded bag you open yourself up for less or no criticisms. You can buy that bag, others also can buy ok. NO BIG DEAL. Later your bag kena snatch and before that you act so haolian parading around, people will only laugh at you and say, PADAN MUKA. who ask you to show off your bag in public? Don't say I didn't tell you so.

b) You're not as fat as you think. If you're size 16 and above and you complain that you're fat, ok, I give it to you, you can berate about your life till the cows come home. But if you're size 10 and below and you complain that you're fat and so uber depressed about it, I WILL SIT ON YOU. That is not even a baseless scare. That is a formal warning. I hate seeing skinny girls complaining about their flat tummys and pulling at their skins on their arms and thighs, SKIN I TELL YOU. Theres not even fats that they're pulling. WTF man, are you just dumb or are you just blatantly rubbing your flat tummies and skinny arms in my face????? Lao niang will suffocate you with my big ass.

c) Not all men can provide you with money, loyalty, look like Jerry Yan and a home. They can only provide you with 1 out of 4. or 2 out of 4 if you're really lucky. The perfect man that you're waiting for does not exist. And if he DOES exist, do you think he'll be with you? Do you actually think that he'll actually notice you? Have you even looked yourself in the mirror? Do you look anything like Cheryl Cole? If no, please do not expect men that ticks all your categories to look at you. Even if he looks at you and picks you, don't expect him to keep all his sexiness and handsomeness to himself!

d) If you haven looked yourself in the mirror and evaluated your self worth, don't go berating men who rejected you. Have you even tried tweezing your bush of an eyebrow or wearing a skirt? You fantasise about men you watch in korean and japanese dramas and you come back to reality and expect the same out of our own slobbery men. HOW CAN? They never expected you to pop right out of the playboy magazine, I feel that you shouldn't expect them to do things that you want them to.

Example. You want a man whose like those of the fairytale love stories in korean dramas. They want you to only be in the kitchen all day, and when they come home they expect you to be naked lying on the bed with double Ds and still be able to put a feast on the table. Are both parties able to live up to the expectations? I didnt think so!

e) Don't expect people to pull doors open for you, allow you to cut queue etc when you don't look like Katy Perry. The world is this superficial. Stop whining that just because you're a woman men should automatically kowtow to you. You should know by now that there are more assholes then gentlemen. And men love pretty things. So when you realise you need to flirt and be pretty to get your way in life, the whinings will automatically decrease.

f) If you're fat, or have fats in places that are OTT, please don't wear things that make them bulge out even worse. And also please don't wear gunny sacks. You know those big bags of clothes that makes you look like a sack of shapeless potatoes? If you're unhappy with your shape, get a corset or seomthing that squeezes the unnatural fat dispositions into a shape! You have to realise that there are many women out to sabotage you and by that when they say you look great even though you feel like you look like shit, they are actually hoping you look like crap so other men look at them instead of you. Trust your gut instinct. This however, also only applies to women who have the correct gut instinct. Not all fashion is wearable. Just because they were on the walkways, doesn't mean its pleasing to the eyes. Just, just don't wear something that doesn't compliment you. I may not be a fashionista, and by God I've committed some of the most terrible fashion crimes on earth, but now at least I know what to stay away from! Lol

g) Buying all those fat-free products doesn't make you any slimmer. It's tricking yourself to thinking that you're eating all those fat-free things. And lets face it, most companies put the word fat-free there to lure idiots to buy them. They are equally loaded with the same amount of sugar or fat, or even worse, other chemicals and trans-blabla that make you think its the same as the normal things you eat. Thats by far worse than ingesting fats into your body. Thats how people get so much cancer and such. PLUS they charge you more for fat-free stuff. I'm just thinking you're just paying extra for poison that you're eating. Might as well cook it yourself or make it yourself! Much healthier.

h) Please don't whine to your friends when you're secretly happy about your life and want to rub it in their faces. It's actually very obvious what you're trying to do and it makes them feel worse. Just be happy about your life and they'll feel happy for you. Unless that thing you're whining about really is morally wrong, then please don't. Happy things should be kept happy. Don't try to sour-coat it. If they really are your friends, you'll naturally know that they feel happy for you..

i) I once saw a girl who tried to make her eyes look bigger by enlarging her eyes all the time before taking pictures. Now she looks like a mortified/petrified character out of Tim Burton's scary ass cartoon movies. It's that ugly. I believe that if she had relaxed her eye muscles she would have looked so much prettier. Shes really the butt of all my ugly jokes now. I don't understand why you have to FORCE yourself to be beautiful. In a way you already are. If you're that unhappy (like me), just put la eye shadow, mascara, fake eye lashes and all. Don't have to stretch your muscles so far kan? It must be damn tiring to be her lor. Sad.

j) If you think your ass looks big in that skirt or jeans, it probably is. Don't need to ask others for 2nd opinions that you want to hear. And don't bully your poor bf into telling you things that you want to hear and then fucking him up for lying in your face. WTF do you want man!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!?!!?

k) Please learn how to cook. It's very useful for you : self independence, pleasing your in laws, husband/bf, and children. Its only a baser instinct for being a mother. Even men are better at cooking. Shame on you! Its like how you expect men to know how to fix a light bulb!

l) Stop glaring at other women who are obviously prettier than you, and also stop laughing at women who are inferior to you. It sickens me to know that there are several of you out there that are like this. Each to its own. I'm sure you have something to hide and that you've hidden it well, not everyone knows your flaws. You're not perfect. Don't judge others by their looks unless you want the same done to you.

m) Concealer is good for you if you have blemished skin. If you're going to be out in public where 90% of the population is going to staring at your scary ass acned skin, please, for the love of humanity, put on some make up. Seriously no man wants women with terribly acned skin. When I was younger I had such bad acne, I had no bfs. And when I learnt how to cover them up, men slowly started coming into my life. True story. Men are superficial assholes.

n) Don't be too churchy/holy. I know that only a certain group of men (aka church go-ers) would approve of this attitude. It's good to have God in your life and praise his ways, but to overdo it is another matter. Then instead of the pious girl that you want to be, you'll fondly be remembered as the crazy church virgin who can't get married because she drowns men in bible verses. No joke. If you're old and still want to reproduce, and men in church obviously aren't going to marry you for reasons best known to themselves, keep the prayers and bible teachings and all the praise the lord antics to yourself (ie confinements of your room when you're alone). Remember, God helps those who helps themselves. He will always know if you're faithful to him. He doesn't have to hear you speak the words of the Bible to everyone you see. Just act normal. Nothing out of the norm, and you'll be fine....

o) If you have too many cats, hamsters, posters of anime, posters of boy bands, prepare yourself for spinsterhood.

p) men love women who are obedient, cook, wash, iron their clothes and serve them in bed. Anything other than that is unnecessary - especially in our traditional asian culture. If you're thinking of marrying a Malaysian man, mostly likely you'd have to stick to my 5 golden rules as aforementioned, and you're set for life - no matter how you look like. Men want to come home to good cooked food, clean floors and toilets, clean crisp shirts and plenty of sex. They do not want to : a) see papers and files lying around b) hear about your boringly painful day at work and about the gossips flying around your office c) have to do the house chores together with you (that is YOUR DUTY). d) have to run out again to buy dinner e) beg you for sex and then get rejected and then have to 'tam' you back because you get angry at him for asking for sex.

q) If the size doesn't fit, don't buy it. don't buy things that you hope you'll slim down to fit into. Same goes for shoes. If it doesn't fit, it never will.

r) excessive petty tantrums does not get you far in life. Blackmail does.

A letter to my dead girlfriend

2010-08-16T00:05:00.001-07:00

Read this on the internet and its just really sad.... and painful.

A letter to my dead girlfriend - m4w

Date: 2009-10-25, 1:36PM CDT

It has been a rough year darling. The ethereal power of Craig�s List will get this message to you I am sure, like in some sort of cheesy 80s movie.

Well back to the last year, you of course died at the beginning of it which put things to a sour start. I spent last night with your mum and dad, we went to that Italian place in Wicker Park, who on the surface seem to be coping. I had everyone get together for my 25th which went well, your ladies are on top form and I think some engagements are brewing. Ellen is turning up the heat on Steve who will soon be forced down to one knee as you predicted.

Last weekend I finally took the step of cleaning out your clothes from the closet, which is very barren now. I invited your friends over to take your what they liked, it was an awkward session. I think they took them more as a favor to me than anything else. Liz cried when we pulled out all of your shoes, Miranda joined in and then Catherine broke down. It was strange to stand in our bedroom surrounded by three crying girls. I made a joke about them crying for joy at the prospect of some free Manolo Balhniks which they didn�t seem to find very funny.

A few girls have put the moves on and as you know picking up women is not a forte of mine. It seems the grieving boyfriend seems to be a good angle. Who knew! I went on one date and spent it talking about you, the poor girl. You would have found it quite witty I think. No other dates to report, I am going against your orders to move on for now.

I found one of those hair tie things that somehow managed to squeeze into every crevice in the apartment. It was under the bed. I sat on the floor holding it and cried. Until then I had held everything together but it just all came flooding out.

Every morning when I wake up I forget for a fraction of a second that you are gone and I reach for you. All I ever find is the cold side of the bed. My eyes settle on the picture of us in Paris, on the bedside table, and I am overjoyed that even though the time was brief I loved you and you loved me.

Love,

P.

The Mother of all quizzical Questions that no one knows why.

2010-08-03T19:03:00.001-07:00

This would be the mother of all quizzical questions that no one knows why.

Even the mystery of which came first, the chicken or the egg, has been cracked. And this. This has yet to be known as to WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

WHY?~!!!!!!!!????????????????????????

WHY DO OLD SINGAPOREANS DRIVE LIKE FUCK IN MALAYSIA?

Note: this is only referred to singaporeans who drive like fuck in msia. If you don't drive like fuck, or don't think u drive like fuck, then its not you. Very subjective topic as to whether you knowingly know that you're a shitty driver or not. Or you're just oblivious about the whole thing. ANYWAY!

Note : this also only refers to a portion of the singaporean chinese. the malays drive fantastically. some of the indians do as well. but generallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly. chinese. you. suck.at.driving.

To continue with my analysis of this shockingly rude mystery. Why do singaporeans drive well in singapore, and come into malaysia and drive like fuck?

is it

a) this is to release all their pent up stress of having to drive in an orderly manner on all singapore roads for if they shall default in their actions, they will be heavily compounded and have demerit points off their already negative marks.

b) those who drive like fuck in malaysia also drives like fuck in singapore. so if one is going to drive like fuck, might as well drive like fuck in a lawless place in malaysia where violence and road rage prevails over the armed forces.

c) they've actually entered into the magical closet known as the customs immigration and magically appeared in Marnia (Malaysian narnia) where all roads lead to the ice queen and are slippery, dangerous, and filled with goat-men.

d) they think they are our lao pek and can drive like it is their roads. Somemore can show us cibai face when we honk them for driving like fucks. SHOW US LANJIAO FACE SOMEMORE.

e) they think they are more superior than us. and that they can drive however they want and we don't dare to bang them just because their car shinier than ours, we cannot afford to pay compensation. well guess what fuckers, THERE IS NO LAW THAT YOU CAN CLAIM AGAINST US WHEN YOU'RE IN OUR TERRITORY DRIVING LIKE FUCK AND KENA SCRATCH/BANG! boooooooooooooooooooooooooyah. learn this. you have been warned. there is nothing you can do about the law when it comes to claiming from our insurance companies. and like our system here. WE HAVE NO SYSTEM.

f) they actually have no licenses. So when they come out of the customs, they switch palce with the original drivers, just to have a go at driving and since malaysia has no law, no one will catch them. YES THAT IS TRUE. BUT WE WILL SCRATCH YOUR CAR AND PUNCTURE YOUR TYRES IF YOU PUSH US OFF THE EDGE. i suspect alot of these people are still in the process of getting their licenses and where else to practices besides malaysia? then when they come over they realise they're fucked because everyones an agressive driver here.

You fuckers really haven kena beaten up yet. then when kena beaten up say its us who are violent and boh tak chek. when you yourself drive like cibai like that. linabeh beh hiao hua chia mai lai malaysia la. hua kana lanjiao nia. limpeh PUIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh. kanasai. license min chai si buay teng lai eh simi si.

to be honest, i am fine with singaporeans. but its when we're rushing to places, and you're in the express lane driving like an old woman and braking at every fucking nothing, is what pisses us off. you have no sense of hearing when you hear us honking away and flashing our highlights. and oh you guys are so oblivious to the laws of the roads.

Please if you're going to drive like fuck, dont do it here. go back to singapore and drive. if you're not confident in your driving, take the public transport FFS. our crazy bus drivers who gets into accidents every now and then drives better than you!

And we apologise profusely should we have any of our drivers driving like cock in singapore. we really do. of course they are minorities in singapore because its just so bloody expensive to even go into SG. $20 fucking dollars to just enter. and thats not even incl the ERP. And you guys only need to pay less than RM3 to come into malaysia. stupid customs. don't even know what they're thinking.

So please, someone tell me, why is JB swarmed with singaporean drivers whos licenses we suspect are bought with undertable money? It's like driving schools teach you nothing at all!

Say FROG!

2010-08-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

She should be my prodige.................................... How come Ern isn't this cool!??!!?!?!?!?

If I could have it my way.....

2010-08-03T02:14:00.001-07:00

.....I'd make sure that work starts at 10am, and ends at 2pm. And still get paid in full!

.....the working week would only last 3 days. tues till thurs.

..... Anything below an XL would be made an invalid size, and needs to be specially tailored. HAH!

.....all imported cars would have an RM80,000.00 cap.

.....All long distance travel buses would be banned. Promoting flights, saves time and promote efficiency and cut down on road traffic accidents.

.....Singaporeans would not be allowed to drive in Malaysia. EVER.

.....cosmetic surgery would be so much more affordable. Like the price of the most expensive facial you've ever gotten.

.....alot of the customs immigration officials would be fired and burnt.

.....alcoholic shots would be capped at RM5.00 and not watered down. Beer would be RM7.00 per pint. Everything would be in pint glasses and not mugs.

.....idiots wearing snow boots and winter shawls in this fucking weather would be shot.

.....assholes wearing glasses in clubs thinking they're as cool as Usher would have their eyes gouged out.

......Jho Low would be my best friend.

......animal cruelty would result in death penalty.

......hudud law would be highly enforced. eg. rapists would have their penises whacked off, robbers and theives would have both hands chopped off.

.....have the customs thoroughly check the singaporeans car just as how they thoroughly check ours at their customs.

.....the steel-rice-bowl workers would not be lazing around waiting for their boss to feed them. bums.

.....there'd be another chatchujat in JB.

.....offices would have built in beds on the walls so we can nap whenever we're tired during break times.

.....annoying insurance sellers would be dead.

.....slow drivers and/or terrible drivers will be shot dead as well.

.....memory erasing would be widely popular.

.....old folks homes and orphanages would have a better living standard.

.....people who neglect their parents and chuck them in old folks homes would have their own kids legally kidnap and starved until they take back their parents and treat them the way they should. they would also be monitored 247.

.....people would be legally able to kill their other half if caught cheating or in compromising positions.

.....there would be more KFCs than MCDs.

.....women would be able to get (an) off day(s) when they're menstruating.

.....alcohol would be created to make you high, and not hung over.

.....there would be no charges for women taking advantage of men in whatsoever manner.

.....mash potatos would replace rice.

2010-07-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

I know I've been complaining alot lately. its just really nice to have you there for me, always being my pillar of strength and comfort. Doesnt matter you don't drive a BMW, wear a Cartier or love drinking only Starbucks. It only matters that you're always there when I am upset and always have ,comforting words, well, just words to calm me down.

Its always know theres always an open arm to run into when the whole world seems to have turned their backs on me.

Thanks for being there. Thank you for loving me darling. I wouldn't have made it so far without you.

Alzheimers much?

2010-07-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know its me who is having issues with me, or my mum. But I'd like to think that's my mum's brains acting up. Kinda mean to say, I wish the alzheimers would set in so she'd loosen up a lil. But that's mean to say it isn't it. I'm the most unfilial daughter. But hey, I've gotten the young age alzheimers alrady. It's a pretty strong gene in the family and its getting even stronger by the generation!

Favouritism! I LOVE IT!

2010-07-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

I'm sure theres favouritism in every family.

Good for you if you're the favourite child. Not so good for you if you're the one that has to stand aside when your mum praises your brother on his achievement and his high standards in life and how lowly you are compared to him.

She never asks him for anything, nor require him to lift a finger.

However, from you, she wants the world. She wants you to take care of him when she dies. She wants you to find a husband so he can fund your brother's business whenever. She wants you to buy the groceries when you're earning 5 times less than your brother. She wants to to mend the fort at home when no one is around when you're only 24. She asks you to stay at home while she brings your brother and his gf on a trip. She prefers your brother's gf because she is a diploma holder, becuase this girl is more educated than the rest. She also prefers your 2nd brother's gf over your big brother's wife because she is more educated than her. She waits for your brother to come home only then she starts cooking when you're already starving to death. She takes up half the portion to keep for your brother alone when she gives the other half to the rest of the family. She gives him a fruit basket in his room while your fruit . Well your fruit has to be taken from her.

This is what i call favouritism.

Its actually fine with me until it crosses the line. crossing the line being : you have to accompany your brother, mind you, 32 yr old brother, swimming. and once you refuse to, she comes up with reasons why you're the worst sister, worst daughter and reasons why no one wants to marry you because you can't shed the last 5 kg, and everyone in the world wants to see you fail in life, how you'll be a burden to her and when she dies your brothers and their wives will look so down on you they'll cast you into hell.

Its just not worth it you know, when you give your best to the family, however they want more from you. shes even said when she passes on i'd have to take care of my brothers. What about me man? I'm only the youngest sister.

Its a curse. I bet its my retribution from my deeds in the past life. Now I have to suffer a fate worst than a maids. At least maids don't have to take this hierachy mind abuse.

FML. I love my mum. But I can't live like this anymore. I can't even bother to talk back to her anymore. It just eggs her on to push me off the edge until i give her an unsatisfactory answer so she can batter me more with her reasonings.

My life is a bitter comedy that the Gods have planned for their tea-time break.

The only reason why I'm so affected is because I love my mum very much. And that her words mean alot to me. I guess this isnt the same for her.

She never listens to me. She never bothers to ask if I am happy with my life. Or how my day was. Whenever I step into the car she starts pouring all the family gossip onto me and how unhappy she is with my big brother, my sis in law, my father, my maid, my dog, my aunts and uncles . everyone except her precious son. Not that I hate him, i have to make this very clear. he's a great guy. But her overwhelming love for him puts a barrier between the sibling relationship that could have flourished into a stronger bond, and I blame her for that. Now I just don't want to be close to him in fear of further comparison between him and me. Oh how perfect he is he works out all the time. Drives a nice car. Can your future husband or bf drive such a nice big car? Can he afford a rm400,000 shop house? Did you hear how an exercise freak your brother's gf is? Man her body is good. Doesn't matter her face looks like shit, but as long as her body is good, your brother and many other men will love her. And thats what men want. Stick thin body. Men don't love you for your disgusting pig-breasts or face. They want skinny bodies. Especially rich men. You'll end up with a poor man because he has no one else to choose and same goes to you. You have no figure, no nothing. You might as well die right now, you don't have a good future anymore. bla bla bla blalba.
I can list a longer version of this, but I think your brains are frying from reading this already! LOL

Its not that i'm physically abused in this family. She does everything for me. So much so that shes so convinced that she loves me the most. But the underlying part that no one sees is that the reason why she does so much for me is that so I will feel guilt-tripped into taking care of my brothers when shes not around. So I can't go conscious free to allow their wives to take care of them (their rightful duties anyway!?). And I'd have to handpeck my brothers forever. And marry a rich man so I can feed my brothers as well.

I don't know what this is. I know it is madness. I know it is the epitome of madness. It doesn't even make sense anymore. My life doesn't make sense anymore.

I receive this mental abuse of not being able to pass BM because I'm this retarded is an excuse that she uses to hurl verbal insults at me and how much she's wasted her money. To be honest, I don't think I deserve to make it to college. Hell I couldn't even pass my High school cert. All these being a lawyer for family pride and glory. I can't even face myself when I go to work when I know that I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my life.

And there is nothing much I can do to change it without giving my mother a stroke. Then if anything happens to her, I will be blamed for the rest of my life. And that is no difference from committing suicide. Saves me trouble and heartache. Saves everyone the extra effort of expanding their irises for extra vision area to look at my gigantic arse.

I bet there is a fair number of people who are facing the same or even worse or slightly better. But you all know that there is no such thing as equal love. Its all fucking bullshit.

Favouritism - still a painful topic to talk about in all races.

Why never to ask favours from a designer

2010-07-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

FREAKING HILARIOUS.

Story goes :

Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence...
Read from top to bottom….

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

SWEETEST THING EVER

2010-07-05T21:13:00.001-07:00

So lately I was complaining of how my life sucked and how poor i was and how amazingly low i am being paid and how my job is going no where, along with my life bla bla.

the depression conundrum is making me and him bonkers and one day i just lugged out my precious set of jewellery which i absolutely adore, and decided to sell them to earn myself extra money.

While photographing them my heart was breaking and i was whining on the phone how sad it was and bunny volunteered to buy my whole vintage collection. I was like no way. That'd be a bad business proposals. I'd owe you plenty of shags if it did come true. ANYWAY. On another lighter and much much happier note,

this popped up in my mail box order today :

Made me all warm and giddy and fuzzy inside. I laughed out loud. At first when I saw his name in the inbox i was like WTF? What the hell does he want to buy?

Then I clicked it and I laughed again. Not ONLY because he wanted to buy me, but because he spelt my name as JONNA instead of JOANNA. SILLY BUNNY! But so CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. He sounded like my Evidence Teacher Mr Aru for a moment. For the 2 years he was teaching me, I was JONNA to him. Obviously there was an A in JOANNA but he decided to do it his way - the ARU way.

ANYWAY. SO CUTE OK! First time got people want to buy me. Obviously for reasons that aren't against feminist laws, this is entirely a joke. But a super sweet one though. Thank you for putting a smile on my face when all I can do is be sad <3

THE VINTAGE VANITY

and

HAUTE FAUX

You're around ..

2010-07-04T18:46:00.000-07:00

things don't seem so bad when you're around. Like cerealsly.

I'm glad you're there to comfort me when things get messy. Really appreciate it...

Dreams vs Reality

2010-06-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

6 years ago, when I was 18, I had this pent up fantasy about the man I was to marry, how old I'd marry and how many kids I will have. I had my whole life planned out in front of me. From what kind of man he'd be and what house we'd be living in. My mum of course played a major role in my dream planning and had planted lots of seeds of unrealisticism in it.

Its all just a dream. It'll never happen in a milllion years in real life and still live to tell it (when its too good to be true, it actually really is.) Let me tell you why.

When I was 18 (my mum and) I had already planned that I would meet a wonderful Malaysian guy in UK and that we'd study together and then come back and work together then he'd propose with a ring as big as my fist. I'd also get married by 24 and have my first child when I was 26 and then wrap it up when I was 30.

He'd be tall, charming, a doctor or a lawyer, so much smarter than me, humorous and also chivalrous, and not forgetting disgustingly rich. You get the idea, the whole perfect package. He'd also be insanely in love with me and would do all the romantic things for me and give me surprises all the time. He would also drown me with pampering.

So far for that.

Along the way, I met so many different kinds of men. Of course I've also met the man that I had mentioned above. Rich, handsome, fit, highly educated, funny, bla bla bla.

You'd think that would be a happy ending for me. Well of course not, if it was I wouldnt be here writing this miserably boring post on my life.

It just didnt feel right. The chemistry wasn't there. I tried to over look it because he ticked all my boxes and liked me too. It was ok for a few months, but after that ..... it was just crap. It was more of an obligation for me to be with him. It became tiresome. Ok, you get the idea.

And as for me, I'd be a high flying corporate lawyer, wearing almost provocative suits to work and earning about 5 digits (by 24, because I think I'm so godamn smart and witty). I'd be slim by now and driving a BMW (downpayment sponsored by my parents of course). I'd move to the capital (KL DUH) to work and be away from the parents and finally have the freedom I yearn for. And of course i'd be the dream child that my parents dreamt of.

Guess where I am now.

I fell in love with a man who is tall, charming (only to me), not a doctor or a lawyer but still smarter than me (hopefully), unfortunately not disgustingly rich, actually not even remotely rich, not romantic at all and doesnt give me surprises unless I specifically hinted very obviously that I'd like to be surprised. And that sometimes he doesn't even do it. He gets on my nerves most times and has somewhat less than perfect table manners (but still bearable). He has a shoe size so big that Malaysia hardly caters his size. Its disapointing being unable to share my love for shoes with him. He is insensitive and just plain ignorant most times. The exact opposite of what I had dreamed of when I was 18.

And look at me. Sure I'm a barrister at law in England. That means jackshit if you're not called to the bar in Malaysia. Here I am, still struggling with my BM for the Xth time and still failing like a piece of shit. I am nothing in Malaysia. I'm only a clerk (its' either you're in the managerial position or the clericals). So. I earn less than a hard work labourer and I can't afford a vehicle. I am also currently and simultaneously coping with excessive weight issues which seems to get on my mothers nerves. Which loops me into the circle of imperfection, being her daughter. But thats another post for a more devastating day. Anyway. i'm struggling with weight issues due to the hormone imbalance that i've been bestowed with by the heavenly. oh the weight i put on when face with stress. Instead of being like a sea cucumber which squirts out its innards under pressure, I actually look like I've eaten several peoples' innards.

I don't own a car, I don't own anything. I wear provocative suits because i'm so fat that my breasts are bursting through the seams. I still live with my parents and thats the worst part. I'm still under their control even though i'm financially dependant. Here I am, not the golden child of my parents, perhaps the biggest disappointment in their lives. Not being to get a man of their preference, and not wanting to persue a career in Law (if it isn't obvious enough by now, I was co-erced into studying law and also tricked with false promises of many other things.). I have a figure of a an american hybrid potato and I can only wear things that are part lycra.

I will not get married this year, and I don't think I'll even be married by 26. I even suspect that I am infertile due to my irregular periods. I am overall an undesirable candidate for marriage, reproduction and the whole growing-old-together fiasco. I will only probably also have 1 kid (if god allows) because I saw how my family fell apart when my parents were trying to bring up 3 kids and sending them overseas (because you know, to them its so shameful to graduate locally. you'll just marry the same circle of poor people like they did).

My life is falling apart terribly and my mum seems to have such fun sending my ego to hell.

The only reason why i'm not slitting my wrists yet is because of the man I fell in love with 2 years ago. Sure he's not that highly educated. He's not disgustingly rich. He's nothing I've mentioned. But at least he shows promises of a slight happiness once I leave this home. He shows hope that I can again regain my self confidence of what a failure that I already am. He is the living proof that no one is perfect and that life still carries on. He is the sole reason that I have to carry on with my life when something bad happens.

There are no more dreams for me. Only cold harsh reality that got me re-evaluating my steps in life.

B, if you're reading this, don't feel bad that you weren't the guy I thought I'd be with when I was 18. I probably wasnt the best candidate that you found either so lets face it! we settled.

You gave me hope and hopefully, that is enough to tide me over the years. Happy 2 years B. I hope you know that I'll always stand by you.

No such thing as a perfect relationship

2010-06-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been with a guy that seemed too good to be true? He surprises you with flowers, picks you up from work and whisks you off to a dinner and make you order anything you want without flinching. He tucks you into bed and hugs you till you fall asleep. Gives you feet rubs from a whole day of shopping with his card and buys you chocolate when its that time of the month. Have you ever been with such a guy?

Neither have I.

Well, unfortunately, whatever they say about the whole 'no one is perfect' debacle is true. Its all horrifyingly true. Hey, I'm not perfect, but men don't go about dreaming about their 'princess in shining glitter' or happily ever after, do they? We, the more complex creatures spend about 97% of our time fixated on the korean and japanese dramas that we watch and blatantly dictate the soppy mens' persona into our lives and ALSO expect our men to do the same. OBVIOUSLY, they do not. It's all fictitious - these prince charming, knight in shining armour, chivalrous and what not. We get mad at how insensitive they are and why those korean and japanese men are, then we fall in love with the TV characters, when probably, in real life, they are equally as idiotic as our local men are.

Of course I have heard about women who talk on and on and on about how perfect their relationship is with the other half (usually for the first year). And it makes me ponder deeply (or either that my deflated ego is on self-defense mode and in intense jealousy) and summing up with 4 plausible reasons why they are portraying this happy image :

1) Ego

It's all about the ego. They do not want people talking behind their back and laughing/sneering/bitching at/about them. They want people to think they are this perfect couple and are happy, in which the fact is that they are not. People who are unhappy in the relationship AND also are egoistic will tend to portray that they are happy. I might be wrong, but I'm usually correct. Perhaps they want to prove to others that they did not make the wrong choice or maybe, they are just trying to protect their other half's dignity. Either way.

2) Ulterior motives

...of the men, not the women. When my close girlfriends come to me elated and giddy from the lurving, I step out of her happiness circle and try to analyse some facts. Why is she so happy? Why is he so nice? Why is my relationship not like hers? Perhaps its my jealousy mode acting up again (to prove that all men are jackasses) that makes me suspect that they are up to no good (I'm also usually right at the end of the day). My suspicion of course comes with a basis. You read about it on the papers how charming good looking men get together with the most fugly women on earth and swear they are in love with them bla bla, love of their lives bla bla yada yada. 2 months down the road, they're out of the picture and with 20 grand credit in their bank accounts.

Those bastards swindled the poor ladies out of their entire life savings. Which comes to an crucial point : If you're not hot, or remotely good looking, do not expect men that are out of your league to like you [referring to plain girls who go gaga over superjunoir-like groups and fantasise everyday about being Mrs superjunoir - haha- JOKING LAH]. If they like you, and act like angels, something is wrong. If they like you and still act like assholes, then they are normal. Its these good looks and amazing fake personalities that lull you into a false sense of security which in turn leads you into giving your heart and bank passwords to him. bastards.

Ok, maybe they are not out to get your money. MAYBE and just MAYBE they are cheating behind your back, and feel guilty about it, hence treating you extra nice, so you won't find a reason to kick their asses. But what they didn't realise is that we know when you are lying once you do something out of the norm. There's no such thing as 'just because it's nice to do something nice.' We know men too well to know that they don't take hints, or do anything romantic unless they want something out of you.

3) The 'Once in a while' Theory

So they treat you like a door mat 6 days out of a week. For those 6 days you YEARN every single minute that he becomes nice and gives you a break. Then on the 7th day he treats you to a nice pair of shoes. Then, BAM! You think he is the best guy on earth, just because he buys you that pair of shoes that madeyou feel all fuzzy and wuzzy inside. Babe, thats not being nice to you. Thats the 'fishing' technique. He lets you swim off then hooks you right back to him again. But psychologically we assume that that's perfection because we do not know of anything else that he does is nice that he would even think of doing for the past 6 days, or the next 6 days.

Hard to grasp this concept, but picture this situation. I bet you have a girlfriend that complains the shit out of her boyfriend every single time, but suddenly out of the blue, he does something nice for her and she's like "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh(swoons) he's the most amazing guy ever! I never expected him to do this for me! So sweet! How surprising!" And you're like , "WTF? He treats you like crap every time and you've forgotten about it so quickly just because he did something nice? HELLO!? Don't you rememeber the times you cry to me on the phone because he was giving you hell?". Women are like magpies. Once we see something shiny, we tend to forget everything else.

I know I'm like that. I am deluded. But lets not go down that road.

Men secretly know of this theory and do not, for the love of TopGear, share this with us. In fact they use this against u like how many christians use J.C. against the Jews (ok, bad joke). That way they can treat us however they want to treat us, in their own comfort zone, and once in a while make the effort to stop us from leaving them because we're up to the brim, full of their shit. After the 'spa-pampering' treatment they shower us with, we're back to worshipping-them-like-deities mode, and them treating us like crap, yet again. Assholes.

4) Denial Mode

None of us like to face the cold harsh reality, only a handful can stomach it. Instead, we love being ignorant about the loud blaring facts that these certain groups of men arent suitable for us. We all love happy ever afters, but we know that 9/10 relationships end up in the dumps. Those 1/10 are those who have mastered the art of ignorance, denial and delusion. Because let's face it. If we're as decisive on throwing away torn-yet-favorite underwear like how we throw men away, we'll still be wearing our hole-infested granny panties till we're 45. We horde shit and in hope that we'll use it someday like how we stick on to our men and in hope that they'll change for the better. We know thats not going to happen. We know how those detachable bra pads can't be re-used because your breasts won't get any bigger with them in, or how you don't have time to DIY those rabbit ears with them. Same thing with men, they aren't going to change in time. They will still piss the shit out of you 20 years down the road.

Mind you, I love men. As much as this post turns out to be, I don't hate them, but they really have to stop pissing the shit out of me. I can't live without men. I'm not those feminists I-am-a-career-woman-I-don't-need-your-money-to-buy-me-shit kind, and infact, I really really do need your money to buy myself pretty stuffs.

We keep hearing wives complain about husbands, gfs complaining about their bfs , but never the other way round. WHY? Its' because they're assholes enough to not notice the black face we wear every single day when they poop without closing the door! No lah, they're just not bothered in opening that pandora's box. Who know what kinds of knives and bombs will start flying into their faces once they go down that road. So like my theory, it's better to ignore than face the cruel cold reality.

But kudos to men who are still with their wives many years down the road and haven't strayed. Women just get worse each and every year. Their naggy selves seem to surface as the years go by and if the men haven gone for greener pastures when the shit hits the fans (menopause mode), that man really deserves a nobel prize for being GREAT. The wives will talk and talk and nag and nag and compare you with the neighbour's husband and how he bought the wife plenty of LVs (even though its fake, but still got the heart to buy) and nag and nag on how you don't pick up after yourself and eat as loud as a horse chomps on hay. It's amazing enough how they don't stab the fork they are eating with into the wife's eyes. Not only do women get naggy, we lose our shape, our breasts sag like papayas and our sex drives become zero. Men just get loser skin, whiter hair and hornier. And if they haven't slept with anyone else, they must be meditating like hell.

Ok, have digressed a bit too far.

ANYWAY. Coming back to the point that there are no such thing as perfect relationships. If I had a dollar for everytime in all my relationships I got so mad pissed off that foul language couldn't fully explain how mad I was, I would have bought a bungalow house by now. We just have to understand that men don't understand us. They pretend they do and hopefully not mess up along the way. They don't get our hints, so we just have to state them out loud - or via email. They have no basic etiquette manners so we just have to guide them gently along the way to civilization. They dress like crap, so we just have to use their cards to buy them new clothings.

Happily ever after is just a myth. Why did they stop the film from rolling after snow white got whisked off by her prince charming on the white horse? We all want to see their pretty babies and how they grow old and die together. But I'm pretty sure they won't want us to see her clubbing his head with the rolling pin as the years go by and she's in the castle taking care of her kids, alone, while he's out gallivanting with his mates.

The next time we give them shit just because they pronounced it 'supposably', we should take a step back and look at ourselves; how they still accept us even though we are also imperfect. I know I seriously need to.

It can wait.

2010-06-18T00:39:00.000-07:00

Having worked for a few years now, I have come to realise that I can't have everything this instant. Somethings, unfortunately, have to wait. Be it financial constrant or wrong timing, it just got to got to got to wait.

1) Getting a gel manicure. God it is so costly, but it lasts so long. I can easily afford it, but, its so pricey and I'm so stingy. I guess it can wait till the end of the year when i absolutely have to get it done.

2) My LCD Tv. AIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I've been going on and on and on about the LCD tv in my room (having one that is). I can also afford it. BUT, I'm just afriad that I suddenly need the money for a rainy day. Sigh. My worries.

3) A car. I don't need one now especially I'm driving dad's manual giant toyota landcruiser. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So much better than the wira or the innova.

4) Iphone 4G. Because its cool and pretty. But gosh its got to wait. Sigh, Till probaby Iphone 7G comes out, then maybe i'll be able to afford the 4G.

5) More shoes bags and clothes. Oh wait, I'm lying. Those can't wait! hAHAHAha.

6) Amazing hair extensions, because,I've got the cheap ass ones already.

2010-06-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

I just bought 2 pieces of long carpet and i'm obsessed on buying another 2 to cover my terrible parquet floor. Plus it doesnt feel cold at night. And its so soft and furry. I'm off tomorrow till monday. So I'm going to Jusco to buy my super cheap ass carpets. WOO!

Goodbye 23, Hello 24!

2010-06-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Ok I realised that I haven been blogging for quite a bit. Have been really caught up in this thing called 'life' sans the happy moments and world's little miracles.

Anyway, today marks the last day of my 23dom. I will be 24 tomorrow. It's kind of depressing knowing that I am not a young girl anymore. My time is ticking. Anyway, less on depressing talk on this rainy gloomy tuesday morning.

As this year went by, I realised I don't know much about anything.

I don't know about the political status in our country. I only know the main few constituents, BN, UMNO, MIC, MCA. The rest of the PKR RKP PPK CCB KNNB TNS, I all also dont know. I am ignorant that way.

I also realised that I don't know much about the income tax system and my EPF SOCSO because I am not the one handling all the paperworks. I worry about it sometimes, but that worry seems to fall out of my head when I see something bright and shiny.

I realise that I've been working for 2 years now and I still do not own a vehicle. Alot of people said that owning a vehicle is about personal standards and status. ie, i have no standard or status in the society because I don't own a car. To be honest, I am fine with it. I have no standards, no status, don't ask me for help please, I can't help you with anything at all! Less trouble for me ok! I do not own a vehicle because a) there are many cars in my house for me to use. b) I do not have the urge to go anywhere at anytime. Most of the time I'm at the office and when I'm not at the office I'm spending time at home. c) I do not need a car because there'll always be people there who are willing to drive me. And if there is no one there, there is no car at home, fine, I won't go. It is not an urgent matter to be at the place. And if it was urgent, there surely be someone there to bring me. I may envy people with beautiful cars, but I do not envy people with cars because to me its only a depreciating asset. I can easily afford a car now, but I find myself a little too stingy to fork out that money to pay for something that my house has a surplus of. Ok. Stop talking, Jo.

This past year made me realise that I would scrimp on my own food, and splurge on food for the ones I love (ie treating them to good food, making home made food for them). To me food is secondary. I do not have the desire to be feasting on caviar or shasimi everyday(infact I hate seafood - except prawns). Some people have compared themselves to me and I realise that there is nothing much to feel bad about. Different people have different aspects of standards.

You can not rely on anyone. You can't rely on anyone to be there for you forever. It's just not fiscally correct. I understand that thoroughly although most of the time I may need more processing time. (ie I throw a hissy fit before that and try to burn down the whole world). Sometimes you can't even rely on family.

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. These things will never go wrong.

Have decided to cancel the birthday party (ie apologising to the 2 people who actually made the effort to come). It's ok. I know who cares (ie people who live so far away and still want to come, than compared to those who are near, claim they are so close, and yet apparently have more paramount activities to do that day). Totally understandable. That day will be filled with sand, sun, beach, sangria, great singapore sale, TGIF, sex and the city and long island ice tea. Me and the girls (and the boy) needs a long break. Thank you wonderful people whom i've known for so long to take all the effort to come down from so far away. I love you girls so much.

I am all grown up about friends talking behind my back. I know you did it, but I don't talk about it, because you know, I really don't give a shit? Hahahahaha. I'm grown up! :D

People who live further and are willing to make the effort to see you are so much better than people who live close to you and yet give a million and one excuses not to come. But its totally understandable. Just that now I appreciate my college friends more. 7 years baby. 7 years!

You know when you make people your priority and all you turn out is just an option? Hah, it actually happens in real life and not just digital quotes! -_-''

I miss the life in England. I miss the people sans heartaches. I miss the cold weather where I can wear my snow boots just about anytime I want to.

Totally partial emo post I know but what to do. This time round I'm not writing the post on 23 things I've done because I'm done practically nothing for the past year than to buy time. Life has just some how lost the meaning of it, what with the rat race i've been put in. In the end the race is only with myself.

Saw the new house today, the renovations are on the way and the compound is hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Can't wait to see the whole thing when its' properly done up.

So Goodbye 23, Hello 24. Just wish that I can get by this year with a little bit of grace, and a little bit of dignity.

You have been great to me 23. I have not regretted this past year. Love you.

xxxxx

2010-06-03T07:59:00.001-07:00

Copying off Wan's posts heres somethings about me which you most definitely know, or not know.

I have temper issues. I flare up really quickly and I find it hard to keep my hands from shaking to slap the shit out of the person.

As boorish as I may be at times, I am a softie inside and I forgive wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too easily.

I do not like arguing with girl friends. I avoid at all costs. These things (argument) backfire like a motherfucker. Soon you will have invisible knifes stabbing you in the back.

I have a thing for gold.

I say I don't want flowers and all, but I actually want them.

I have 2 sides to me. The side which agrees with you, and the other side which agrees with what you don't agree with. HAHAHAH.

I can't eat frog legs as tasty as they are. After having a love for frogs, I have stopped eating them.

I love pasar malam food.

I am so good at Japanese Nail Art.

I can not witness accidents or blood from accidents. Major hurling will be expected.

I have stopped buying shoes for many months.

I miss Winky terribly.

I poop 2 times a day.

I love raw onions.

I love money. HAHAHAHAAAHA.

I eat rainbows and poop diamonds.

I dream to be a plus size model. Too bad I'm so short.

2010-06-01T08:31:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry for the lack of posts.

Its just that recently I've been caught up with a impromptu committment in which it would be morally wrong of me to get out of. And no its not my 9-6 job.

Oh well.

On the other hand, congratulations darling Lily on getting married in July. Good thing you ask me to be ji mui. If not wont let you off so easily.

And so sorry Tammy I missed your birthday. Sorry :( Have been so caught up lately I didnt notice. I hope you had a wonderful birthday ;)

And also, my jewellery was sourced by a designer in Singapore and I'm going for jewellery photo shoot this sunday! Will be exciting since its in the field i'm interested in!

Other news. I am so into hand painting nails, and while they are selling so slowly, I'm having the time of my life wearing my own products. Haha.

People, please continue to buy my stuff. I really need to clear them. Please Please Please.

Winky is doing fine in the new place. Apparently now shes barking like hell. Must be Rose and Tingting stifling her talent in barking in ths house. I am glad shes doing fine there. I wouldn't feel so bad about letting people take her away. I still miss her though. Frequently I call Queenie, Winky by mistake. And I think Queenies kind of mad at me for calling the wrong name.

I got clip on extensions. But I don't think they're as great as the braided ones. I don't know why. It just that its more obvious that its extensions when its clip ons. One of Jo's world's greatest mysteries.

I told dad to get Lumix GF1 because its such a fantastic camera. He condemned it like hell and say its the worst camera on earth. A month later I spot him with a red lumix gf1. HYPOCRITICAL SHIT. nabehccb.

Rosabelle went back to Penang and Ah kong was so in love with her. She really is a cute baby even though she's not the beautiful sort. We still love her with all our hearts...

That's about the updates that I can remember now.

Take care people, will update again ASAP!

LOVE!

2010-05-24T18:25:00.001-07:00

Congratulations Gerald & Lisa.

I am so happy both of you got married. You seem perfect for each other in every way possible.

Seeing wedding pictures that capture the moments perfectly makes my heart melt, fills me with warm fuzzy feelings and also makes me wonder when my turn is.

sigh.

Every girl's dream come true since the coming of age that she knows that one day she is going to want to walk down that aisle with her prince charming. There isn't one girl that I know that grew up saying that they don't want to get married. Those who profusely deny that is definitely hiding from the fact that no one wants them, they're too picky or has been hurt before.

The deepest secrets and fears of one revealed just by looking at someone else's pictures in envy; but still filled with well wishing, and nothing but good thoughts for them.

2010-05-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

My cousin Tammy is getting really good at photography and what I admire about her is that she is so determined to improve to become a professional by grabbing every opportunity she gets.

The above are the shots that she took during a wedding of her friends. I find that she has captured the moments of how sad the mother is, combing her daughter's hair the night before her wedding, and also feeding her and drinking her tea.

I teared as I look through the pictures.

Well done Tammy.

2010-05-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

You know those people who aren't perfect but are always the ones criticising others for their evrything? Those people who aren't exactly slim saying people are overweight, or having gums more than teeth and saying that people are having braces?

Yeah, there's shit loads of people around who haven't looked into the mirror before they talk about others.

Well, just saying!

Don't judge me!

HAHA!

2 mini projects :)

2010-05-17T19:45:00.001-07:00

Well if no one else knows, I've just launched 2 new mini projects.

OMG Nails!

Bookie-Trap!!!!

As if it wasn't obvious enough, one's selling handpainted acrylic nail tips, the other is selling pre-loved books!

So please go suppport ok!!!!

:)

Mcd's serious, dude!

2010-05-10T00:06:00.000-07:00

I swear I'll be stick thin if Mcdonald's looked like this.

fml.

Stud earring collection!

2010-05-10T00:02:00.001-07:00

TADA!

Everyone, welcome to my studd earring collection! There's more kept else where because they're too expensive to be left on a cork board collecting dust!

And also, this is the neatest portion of my room.

Ahaks.

:D

Bye Bye Winky

2010-05-04T23:42:00.000-07:00

My Dearest Winky,

Mummy is very sorry that your grandfather had to give you away. Mummy is very sorry that she could not fight for you, because your grandmother said, its your grandfather dying or you going to someone elses home. It's about life and death matter. She already pulled the last card.

Mummy is very sad as well you know that? I know you felt how upset I was last night when I said goodbye to you. It was as if you knew my feelings when you looked into my eyes.

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, but perhaps now you'll be in a better home where there are no other dogs to bully you like Ting Ting did.

Mummy will always miss you my little girl :( ...

even though you only live 10mins away.

Love you always.

Make up steps (amatuer way!)

2010-05-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Suet Mun,

You asked me how I achieved this look :

Unfortunately, I could not give you a step by step tutorial on how I achieved this look. But you also know la I am not a make up guru, this has been years of experimenting and looking like an idiot for the first few.

Hehehe, hope you understand my step by steps!

:D

Brushes that I use (left to right) : Bodyshop, Bobbibrown face + eye (courtesy of Fran), Elianto blending brush +Bodyshop blush brush.

FACE

I use the MAC strobe cream as my makeup base. Everyone probably knows how important a makeup base is - to achieve a smoother look for your makeup and also to prevent the makeup from seeping into your skin. right? RIGHT??!?? hehehehehe

Next I put on the tinted moisturiser (courtesy of Fran ) as my foundation base.

I have terribly uneven skin tone, so I use this liquid foundation only on parts that are still visibly red even after putting on the tinted moisturiser.

Bodyshop concealer pencil. I swear this is the best concealer ever. I have tried so many concealers from Chanel to Estee to MAC. This is farby the cheapest and the best. Used on my spots.

This is the Loreal De-crease to be used on eyelids so that your eye make wont crease after a few hours. It lightens my eye lid and also keeps the eye makeup on!

Bobbi brown dark circle concealer. lightens my cerealsly dark circles man! hehehehehehe.

To finish the face off, I'll dab lightly with Artistry loose powder to set the makeup in!

EYES

I started off by colouring the whole eyelid with this nude pigment powder (courtesy of Jojo) as a base colour.

The I slightly dab the double eyelids with this MAC glitter (courtesy of Jojo).

Then I colour my outer eye lids with the black colour for a slightly smokey effect. I also use the pearl white as a highlighter for my brows. (Courtesy of Fran!)

The I colour my inner lids slightly with this white pencil to make my eyes appear slightly bigger.

My trustee RM5 Daiso eyeliner which is water proof and smudge proof. Line the upper lids fully and half the lower lids starting from the outer corner to the middle.

To finish the look you have to wear the Falsies! I bought my fake shit MAC falsies for RM2.00 at pasar malam!

LIPS

For my red lips I used a pointed tip cotton bud to line my cupids bow (the 2 sharp points of your lips) and also the corners of my lips. Then I colour the red in . AFter that I dabbed my lips with tissue to remove access lipstick. Then I coloured it in again with the lipstick and dab again. Then I put on the lipcote to hold on my lipstick colour (this is so the colour wont run even after several glasses of alcohol). Then after the lipcote I apply another layer of colour!

FACE COLOUR & CONTOURING

Use the Body shop bronzing balls for my cheeks during the night time and it comes off nicely when pictures are taken.

Then slightly colour your cheeks with blusher, just a hint of colour is enough. I used my fakeshit MAC blusher that I bought for RM15. Works out fine as contrary to popular belief! HAHAHA!

Then I contour my face ( my double chin, round face ) slightly with the MAC bronzing thingy. I use the big BBrown brush and go round in circles on my jawline to try to darken it so it looks slightly smaller! hehehehe!

FINAL TOUCHUPS

Draw my bros with an angled eyebrow pen then I coat it with the eye brow coat so the colour stays on. At the rate I sweat my eye brow colour will run extremely quickly!

Lastly, I use the cream pallete glitter (courtesy of Fran) to give it a night party look just at the end of my outter lids!

Yay!

So Suet Mun, I hope you understand what I've wrote k? Dedicated specially for you lor!

:P

xxxxx

ROAD TRIP, BABY!

2010-05-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

I went to Malacca with my 3 girl friends last labour weekend and it was such a wonderful time. it was my much needed vacation. away from work, stress and unwanted troubles. a road trip was what i needed.

We created havoc, clubbed, ate lovely food and did some shopping! hehehehe. So here are my camwhore pics to show everyone!

at pure bar. took us ages to find it, but it was happening!

Us at Restaurant Taragon having nyonya food!

Jo's golden words

2010-04-28T02:32:00.000-07:00

HEED THIS OR ELSE :

When your boss asks what you’re doing while you’re doing something other than work, the word ‘Nothing’ will never save you.
When putting a customer on hold in order to give the phone to your manager, actually put them on hold. Don’t hold the phone to your chest and ask, "Can you help this lady? She’s really annoying." Yeah. She will still hear you.
Just because you’re married to a girl doesn’t mean she won’t punch you in the face while taking a peek at her in the shower.
Never play videos of hungry, distressed kittens to a female cat. She thought I was sitting on and squishing kittens, and bit me to get me to stand up. She’s still suspicious of me.
When you park your car and notice a strong smell of petrol, before panicking and calling your father (who is a mechanic) check to make sure you are not parked next to a petrol station –_–
Always check your shoes before putting them on. Sometimes your cat has been lavishly sick in one of them.
Spell check does NOT catch the missing ‘r’ when you email your wife that "I spent the day under the car with a greasy wench."
If you’re a chunky girl, and you lock your keys in your house, do NOT assume you will fit through your small bedroom window. You will get stuck, and the fire dept. will send only the hottest firemen to pull your butt out. Then you get to watch said fireman hop his sexy little butt through the same window to unlock your door for you.
When you have a curious 6 year old girl in the house, do NOT leave your razor out in the open, otherwise you will find her three hours later with both eyebrows shaved off and school pictures the next day.
When trying to complement your girlfriend tell her that she is prettier than her sister not her sister is uglier than she is.
If you have dogs, keep you bathroom trash lid very secure. They can smell food, fear, and that time of the month.
If your neighbour offers to give you a haircut, politely but firmly insist on deferring it until you are both completely sober.
Squeezing fresh lemon juice is a great way to discover all the little cuts on your hands you didn’t know you had.
When standing in your dimly lit bathroom, make sure the "bug" in your sink is NOT your wife’s diamond earring before you flick it into the drain.
If your girlfriend is good in the sack. Telling her she can go pro is not considered a compliment.
A declawed cat still has teeth.
When bringing a chick over for the first time, when you bring her into your room make sure your desktop picture isn’t still the LAST chick you brought home.
If your 3-yr-old is carrying the cat towards the kitchen muttering "kitty needs a bath," it’s really best to see what she’s planning. Especially if you have a dishwasher.
When seeing a fellow officer of the opposite sex in public and out of uniform.. NEVER say in front of their spouse.. "you look so different in clothes".
never say ‘take whatever you want’ to an ex over the phone as she is moving out, because you WILL come home to an empty house.
When it comes to pooping, if it feels like an emergency, it’s probably an emergency.
Always tip the pizza guy (or gal) well. They know where you live… and you can’t prove they did it.
When preparing spahgetti for a first date, make sure the cooking wine you use in the sauce is NOT vinegar.
The person shaking you awake is not the murderer from your dream. Do not punch him in the face.
When visiting your significant other to engage in intimate behavior, ensure all the windows are completely closed. You never know who is outside to applaud your performance.
Ladies: If you’re going to the beach it is always a good idea to trim up your bikini line. However, it is NEVER a good idea to do this the day of your trip. Especially if said trip is your honeymoon. Because apparently saltwater and freshly shaven skin do not mix well.
When walking in public and you think a spider MAY be in your shirt make sure it’s not just your shirt’s tag before screaming and throwing off said shirt.
When walking down the stairs in a movie theater always make sure to watch the stairs not the movie.
"all the beer you can drink" is not a challenge…
When washing your face never try to rinse it by throwing the water onto your face like in the commercials, you’ll get water on everything but your face.
Chocolate Milk does NOT make Chocolate Cottage Cheese.
A black cat will in fact crawl through a 4 inch gap in a car window, curl up in your black overcoat, and wait like an assassin until you pick up said coat and take a few steps before scaring half the life out of you.
When watching Toy Story, do not say "I had a woody once."
If you are doing electronics with your dad, and he says: "don’t touch that, it’s live" then NEVER touch it.
You should know that Chinese restaurants probably don’t have bowls of butterscotch pudding for your kids on the buffet, that is HOT mustard.
Be very careful when doing your homework late at night. ‘Erotic’ looks a lot like ‘Exotic’ in the spell check if you don’t look carefully, and your teacher will not be impressed if you submit an assignment mentioning ‘erotic food’.
When you find out your BF is dating you ONLY because you share a name with his favourite video game character, it’s time to go.
[1] When picking up a dark object in the bedroom at night, consider that it might be a black cat. [2] Picking up a black cat by the head is not a pleasant experience for either party.
The answer to "Do you think I can sing?" is never "lol".
If you’re cooking pasta and you dump the boiling water into the sink prior to straining it, but find the sink is clogged. Catch your instincts before you automatically reach in to try to remove the obstruction.
Never accept the offer to hold your friend’s newborn right after he’s been fed, especially when you are wearing a new outfit. And did you know babies can explode from both ends at the same time?
When scaring your little brother while he’s coming up an elevator, make sure it’s not the old lady living next door.
NEVER say "Oh the warm salty goodness in my mouth" while eating McDonald’s frenchfries while your boyfriend is in the car, you will never live it down.
When discussing your wife’s birthday present, don’t mention you got it at a 7-11 at 11:30 the previous night, even if she loves it.
Even if it will make child care easier, never ask your mother to move in next door to you.
While in a public bathroom, do not giggle at the lady in the stall next to you because she is having an explosive movement, you might find that you are out of toilet paper and now need to ask her for some.
Sometimes a $5 haircut looks like you only paid $5 for a haircut.
When your parents stay at your new apartment, giving them fresh sheets is not only courteous, it helps you remember to remove your sex toys from the bed.
When you’re helping your dad in the garden and he says "Get me the hoe," you shouldn’t call your mom over.
No matter how well you think you know your own bathroom, always pee with the lights on. Memory alone can’t tell you whether the cover is up or down.
Always, always, check identity before grabbing your "girlfriend’s" ass from behind. You might get a hand full of a body builder’s 34 year old wife. If you do, immediately yelling "OMG, I thought you were my 20 year old girlfriend!" can save your life.
When working at a pet store and cleaning the aquariums, don’t send your boyfriend a text on your break telling him how soaking wet you are. He’ll just pick you up from work with expectations.
When telling your mother-in-law that you and your wife are expecting triplets, never say "I’m so excited for our little threesome!"
When trying to do the helpful thing by cleaning up a dead squirrel you found on the road, always use a shovel, not your bare hands. Just because the squirrel looks dead doesn’t mean it is.
If you find an unknown bra in your laundry, under no circumstances ask your girlfriend if it might be hers…
Try to remember the major events in your friends’ lives, even those you don’t see often. Otherwise you risk asking your old pal how her fiance is doing, and being informed that he is, in fact, "still dead".
A fuzzy blanket and a cat may feel very similar when in a dark room. Blankets however, does not have sharp claws.
Make sure that after you finish a long run, the fence you’re about to lean on isn’t electric. Unless you want know what a heart attack might feel like.
On a hot summer day never wear a low-cut shirt into a pen full of goats. You see, goats like the taste of sweat, and given the chance, will shove their heads down your shirt and lick between your boobs… in full view of your family
Don’t use hand sanitizer before you cuff your cigarette to light it… your hand WILL light on fire.
When the packet says "sprinkle over the chicken" do not roll the drumstick in the spice and give it a complete coating. There is such a thing as too much spice.
If your bro-in-law separates from his wife and says they are getting a divorce, do not try to make him feel better by saying "You can’t make a housewife out of a whore" because they might get back together, making holidays awkward.
Make sure not to drop your keys in the little space between the floor and the elevator, it is a long way down.

2010-04-27T19:41:00.001-07:00

HAHahahAHAHahahAHAhaha.

Funniest shit of the day!

Joanna Wang loves you :)

2010-04-27T19:23:00.000-07:00

The most beautiful rendition of the chinese version ever.

Makes my knees weak just listening to this and chilling out.

Joanna Wang, one of the best jazz singers ever. Chinese and also named Joanna! I could not be more proud :)

Ugly truth

2010-04-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

This is one of the truest poems I've ever read, and written by my close friend NC's sister!!!! :)

super models
cover girls
porn stars and strippers
sex appeal, superficial beauty
little girl wake up and see
you're nothing if you don't grow up to look like Barbie
the modern symbol of femininity
ladies: starve your body
feed your anxiety
we recieve those messages
too loud and clear
liposuction and boob jobs
suck it in, stick 'em out
give in to envy and self doubt
spend your life savings on cosmetic surgery
paint yourself unrecognizable
make sure you glow
from head to toe
your health is always compromisable
nail polish, lipstick
try this beauty trick
make up, miracle creams
try to be the woman of men's dreams
make sure your teeth are perfect
or you'll never be able to forget
that you aren't good enough
and you aren't made of the right stuff
keep trying to look like her
see how much abuse your body can endure
for the sake of superficial beauty
desire isn't blind
so you can't have peace of mind
you're repulsive compared to the woman over there
so lose weight, put make up on, dye your hair
so says the mirror on my wall
so many products, I've tried them all
and still there's no getting away
from the pressure of looking attractive today
this is how women are made to feel
society has a wound that will never heal

Not a very good day.

2010-04-21T18:49:00.000-07:00

I am having high blood pressure in the morning.

At this moment in time, slitting my wrists will be the right thing to do.

But I will not do so.

I have too much to live for, such as fried chicken.
They have no comments, they don't think I'm not good enough for them, they allow me to be with whoever I want and have no opinions about that, they require me to have just enough responsiblities to purchase them.

My heart actually hurts. I wonder if it's a sign that I'm going to break down soon?

We shall see.

Treat me like dirt, please!

2010-04-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

It's as if there is a sign on my head that reads ' TREAT ME LIKE DIRT, ABUSE ME, THROW YOUR TANTRUMS AT ME', because I'm starting to feel like that this week towards a particular person.

I am not your punching bag. I do things for your out of love and concern for you. I don't owe you any fucking thing.

Fuck that shit. It hurts to be unappreciated for all the effort you've put in just to make their day better. From now on, you're on your own, buddy.

I has a stalker.

2010-04-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

HELP ME PREASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

fuck me dead. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I am officially terrified of going to work. There is a mentally deranged man working 2 doors away who waits for me at my office door every morning.

He asks for my number everytime I walk past his shop to go to lunch (that is the only way to go to lunch), and he doesnt take no for an answer! So everytime he asks I will have to say, next time next time, hee hee ha ha, (then quickly walk back to my office).

Has he not seen my boyfriend? Has he not seen my brothers. Has he not seen the several other guys that pick me up (platonic relationships I swear)? WHY DOES HE STILL BOTHER ME??

He leers at me with his beady eyes and waits at the gate and watches me walk up the stairs upskirt la of course. When I'm wearing jeans he doesn't bother looking up. But then I guess thats all men. Subtlety is a different matter.

Usually I'm the first one to arrive (I don't really liek to be late) so I'll have to open the doors. Today, I had to wait for someone to arrive to walk up with me. I was in the car, terrified. Mum was terrified too. She told me that he tried making small talk with her before, and he was also trying to look down her top! FUCKING BASTARD.

I can't really report to police can I, hes working a few doors away and he just stands around and leers and oozes that eerie feeling that he's a psychopath in the making. He's not really intruding my personal space, just that I feel so uncomfortable. And my heart pounds (not in the good way) when he is near. I am terrified that he will rape and kill me, or the other way round. FUCK ME DEAD literally.

What does he want? You may ask.

This is what he wants (probably) :

my number.

a few meals.

happily ever after?????

rape/murder/sadistic stuff/ bdsm/ etc etc etc.

I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

HOW??????????

Damn you F cup breasts. Damn you to hell. Now I'm really going to die because of you.

someone told me should be happy lor, got market leh, people still want you.
KANINABU. WHY WOULD I BE HAPPY A MENTALLY DERANGED GUY WHO IS 40 AND PROBABLY SLEPT WITH A MILLION HOOKERS WANT ME? [if you say I look like hooker, I swear I will kill you and shove your guts into your mouth and pull it out through your ass].

Very happy meh? Someone like this likes you. I feel damn degraded lor. NIASENG.

Hai. God bress me preasee.

Urgent monetary donations!

2010-04-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

I desparately need people to donate money to me so I can go get hair extensions again. I know I know. I don't need lectures on how fickle-minded I am about the length of my hair during my hormone crazed days.

I need long hair. It makes me feel more womanly lor.

HELP ME PREASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :(

*Donations no matter how small will be widely appreciated!

hahahahhahahahaha :P

Penis v Person

2010-04-14T23:13:00.001-07:00

My friend and I were talking about the size of a man's penis in relation to his physical looks and character and financial status. God's pretty fair.

Here's a sum of it.

Handsome guy + Great personality + prince charming = SMALL DICK
Handsome guy + money + asshole + jerk = BIG DICK BASTARD
Ugly guy + Nice car + money = SMALL DICK
Ugly guy + Great Personality = OK DICK (but variable)
Average looking guy + average financial status + Average car = HUSBAND MATERIAL
Average looking guy + nice car + money = BIG DICK (variable)
Average looking guy + no money + no job + no car = BIG DICK
Average looking guy + Muscular Body + average financial status = SMALL DICK
Handsome guy + no money + nice car = AUNTY KILLER
Cute guy + no money + works behind a bar = GREAT SEX
Ugly + no money + no job + in jail = RAPIST/ROBBER
Handsome + money + mysterious + in jail = MURDERER
Handsome + money + car (variable) + charming = INSURANCE SELLER
Tall + Skinny = LONG + THIN (variable)
Short + stout = THICK
Tall + Big = LONG + THICK (depending on race)
Average height + average size = AVERAGE DICK. WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?
Short + skinny = WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!?!
Caucasian + Asian = AVERAGE DICK (variable depending on God's wish)
Intelligent + High posted Job = SMALL DICK. He didnt have to sleep all his way up, did he????
Poor man + rich wife = BIG DICK
Rich man + hot wife = SMALL DICK

The most romantic thing ever.

2010-04-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

Cancer boy ‘weds’ sweetheart before dying

permalink e-mail story to a friend print version

Published 22 July, 2008, 14:55

An eight-year-old boy suffering from leukaemia ‘married’ his school sweetheart hours before succumbing to the disease, reports the UK’s Daily Mail. Little Reece Fleming fulfilled a dream by saying ‘I do’ to the love of his life in a mock ceremony before he died.

Brave Reece battled the lethal blood cancer for four years of his short life.

He had a list of ambitions he was determined to fulfil before dying, including a ride in a Ferrari, spending a day at a fire station and holding a pirate-themed party for friends. ‘Marrying’ his long-time school sweetheart Elleanor Pursglove was his last dream.

Reece proposed to Elleanor several times, and when doctors said he had only weeks left she answered ‘yes’.

Originally the couple planned to have a vicar present to guide them through their vows, but Reece's condition was getting worse quickly and they settled on a simple ceremony at the ‘groom’s’ home.

Reece was dressed in his favourite shirt while Elleanor was wearing a wedding dress.

“You can't really describe in words what it was like. Reece and Elleanor were both very quiet, but there was a lot of feeling in the room,” said Reece’s mother Lorraine.

Elleanor's mother Hannah was playing the role of vicar. The couple exchanged vows and rings and were even given a marriage certificate.

After the ceremony Reece was completely at peace, Lorraine Fleming said. That’s when he told his mother: “Mum, I can go now.”

The boy died the following day.

“Elleanor is missing him a lot. They were both really pleased with the ceremony. It was very special – he just kept smiling at her,” the girl’s mother said.